Reviews from

Quiet Lawyer

Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 23A"
Can a broken heart be mended?

32 total reviews 
Comment from Dawn Munro
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Naturally, I am pretty lost when it comes to character development and plot, but I just HAD to drop in, and I am glad I did (even though nothing has changed -- I am still not here enough to follow a novel -- too much on my plate right now). I enjoyed it very much, and pictured the scene easily.

As always, Barbara, this flows naturally, the dialogue and pacing perfect, and the characters so authentic, I feel like I know them already.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
    Thank you for dropping by, please do it again. I always enjoy your reviews.
Comment from Jay Squires
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Well, a short chapter this time. But it was very effective in keeping one part of the plot that could otherwise slip into inconsequence in the forefront. So, Alan still remains a threat and Ali is having second thoughts about her perspicacity as an attorney. Good thing Cordero is there to buff out the rough edges of her waning self-confidence.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from amahra
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hey, this was really short; what a tease--I wanted more. But I understand this is a fraction of a whole chapter and not a chapter. So, non-action and more dialogue to move the story along is needed here.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
    It is just a snapshot of what's to come. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So now it seems like Alexandra has been painted into a corner concerning Alan, who wants to be a partner in the law firm, and wants the monthly retainer to go from Joseph Aronson to him. But I'm sure she'll be clever enough to squeeze out of this, Beautifully written Barbara, blessings Roy
Typo : (N)either did Brown.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
    Thank you for the kind review. I will fix that.
reply by royowen on 20-Nov-2022
    Most welcome Barbara,
Comment from Zue65
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The angle of romance in any story is something to look forward to. And it seems there is something brewing between Cordero and Alexandra. You are an accomplished novelist, and I can no longer find anything to review or give my critique on. So, I will just enjoy reading and wait for the next post.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Sankey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This was a kind of "joining:" chapter, perhaps. A new angle on her ex and her situ. Al always, another good read, with just one spag from the intro of Previous. Aaron told Alexand[e]ra

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
    Thank you for the kind review and the catch. I'll fix it.
Comment from judiverse
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Excellent post! This sounds like the perfect explanation for Alan's behavior. He was actually hoping he'd be made partner in the law firm and that was his reason for wanting to marry Ali. Good thing she is seeing through his motivation. She's finally seen through him, so she should feel free to get on with her life. If Ali has been keeping in touch with her NY clients and servicing them, you might want to make a reference to that earlier. Happy Thanksgiving to you and family. judi

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
    I did reference it sort of, casually, in her sending faxes and stuff. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by judiverse on 20-Nov-2022
    You're welcome. Yes, valuable information in this post. judi
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I was thinking short when I came to the end. Now I see it was meant to be that way. You did move the story along nicely. I do not see any room for improvement.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
    Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The post being short isn't a problem. Where I was surprised was the lack of continuity. I felt we were racing to catch up. It's the difficulty of this serial reading where you can't flip back to find the exact reference to the meeting and what we were expecting.
At the end you were pretty incisive about having Cord reinterpret what his mom meant, so that all the i's were dotted etc. I feel you need to take the same approach to the beginning, showing the meeting with Alan entering etc. rather than just relating it, to make it sharper. Kate xx

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
    You make and interesting point. I could but I was afraid, I'd have to repeat it again for Cord, and then it becomes repetitive. That's where I struggled. Not sure of the correct answer.
reply by Katherine M. (k-11) on 20-Nov-2022
    If you related it directlyas show rather than tell, perhaps then for Cord you could concentrate more on how it made her feel? or how should she have handled it? or somesuch.
reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
    Will think about it. That's an idea.
Comment from nomi338
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

One of the things that I really find enjoyable and attract me to your writing is how real and relatable your characters are, their story arches are realistic, their actions and responses are real and natural seeming. Some stories have characters acting so out of character to what had already been established, that the reader has to check names to see if it is the same person. This is not the case with you and your stories. Very good.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 20-Nov-2022
    Thank you for the encouragement. I appreciate it. Sending Thanksgiving wishes and hugs.
reply by nomi338 on 20-Nov-2022
    Thank you the sentiments are returned in full measure.