Death By Murder
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Death By Murder - Chap 16"A jewel heist, rival gangs and a cold case.
16 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Okay... I see how this is necessary to move the story forward, but it seems a bit incredulous. I'd appreciate some background on what brought Fenton to Cooper's door... It seems to come out of left field for me and I've been reading this, chapter, after chapter, straight through...
A few other asides--
I'm not good at grammar but I wonder if you need the "done" at the end of this sentence: "He estimated Fenton was about ten years younger than himself but hadn't lived as comfortably as the O'Hara family had done."
An observation: "Tell me, Fenton! Spit it out!" Cooper's voice was loud, terrifying Fenton. His yelling was so out of character."
~~ The second sentence. How would Fenton know it was out of Cooper's character?
Still love the story. I'd like more of a framework for this meeting.
Karenina
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2022
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Okay... I see how this is necessary to move the story forward, but it seems a bit incredulous. I'd appreciate some background on what brought Fenton to Cooper's door... It seems to come out of left field for me and I've been reading this, chapter, after chapter, straight through...
A few other asides--
I'm not good at grammar but I wonder if you need the "done" at the end of this sentence: "He estimated Fenton was about ten years younger than himself but hadn't lived as comfortably as the O'Hara family had done."
An observation: "Tell me, Fenton! Spit it out!" Cooper's voice was loud, terrifying Fenton. His yelling was so out of character."
~~ The second sentence. How would Fenton know it was out of Cooper's character?
Still love the story. I'd like more of a framework for this meeting.
Karenina
Comment Written 28-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2022
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Duly noted and I will try and go back and make adjustments. Fenton was part of the Irish neighborhood and Andrew watches over them all and so did Frank O'Hara... he was the Godfather so to speak, though that isn't clear in the story YET. Thanks for telling me that the reader didn't quite see the connection. Good to know!
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OH, it's likely just this reader! I am a bit slow on the uptake at times! I told you not to spend time answering each of these reviews! I totally swamped you!
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, when someone mentions jewels, every eye gets wide open and when they mention family jewels, most aren't sure what a person is really talking about. LOL. Thanks for sharing. Yes, us old silly boys just can't help being foolish.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2022
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Yes, when someone mentions jewels, every eye gets wide open and when they mention family jewels, most aren't sure what a person is really talking about. LOL. Thanks for sharing. Yes, us old silly boys just can't help being foolish.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2022
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Yes, you silly ole boy had to put your two cents of amusement in as always. I laughed today and the first day I read it. LOl Went through and read the comments but no time to answer them all until today. I actually have my head above water for a few hours at least. You are the best!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh my goodness, Carol, even my heart is hammering. Now Fenton has done it. And how does he know about the jewels? He'll have to tell it all, and then we'll know as well. I'm sorry I've taken so long to read and review, I've not been well, and I've been struggling. Your posts were way back in my messages and I've only just found them. Now I'm even more unhappy because I used all my sixes up and I so wanted to give this chapter one. I'll make sure I save one for you next week. Love you lots my dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2022
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Oh my goodness, Carol, even my heart is hammering. Now Fenton has done it. And how does he know about the jewels? He'll have to tell it all, and then we'll know as well. I'm sorry I've taken so long to read and review, I've not been well, and I've been struggling. Your posts were way back in my messages and I've only just found them. Now I'm even more unhappy because I used all my sixes up and I so wanted to give this chapter one. I'll make sure I save one for you next week. Love you lots my dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2022
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Hey, girlfriend... Here's Miss Turtle struggling to catch up once again. Today is the first day I will have to myself and I am doing my best to clear the slate. I owe so many thank yous and appreciation.
Smiles and hugs, Carol
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You are most welcome, my dear friend. And congrats of coming second. Another day or so and you would have won! I've been inundated with jobs to do at home that have to be done by the two of us, (Graham and me) I'll be looking at your chapter later. But, I have a horrid confession, I just know it will deserve six stars, all yours do, but somehow I'm out of them again! We need more. I'll definitely save one next week. I hate letting you down. 😭❤️❤️
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Congratulations on winning, but I had no doubts that you would do anything else. As for the stars, never worry. They are appreciated but your thoughts and continued following is worth much more. I am trying to get caught up today so I can post again. There just isn't enough time!!! Thanks and love you so much...Carol
Comment from Zue65
Oh my, this is getting to be exciting. The jewels must be the thing, the reason for Cooper's grandfather's death. The plot thickens and the conflict rises to a full tension. I just enjoy this. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Oh my, this is getting to be exciting. The jewels must be the thing, the reason for Cooper's grandfather's death. The plot thickens and the conflict rises to a full tension. I just enjoy this. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Sorry for another delay but life threw me a curve and I ended up on a plane to North Carolina and my grandchildren. Surgery for one and Nana's care for the others. Settling down now for a few days so I wanted to make sure I thanked everyone for reading and commenting on the stories. I truly appreciate your time and comments... Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
You create nice scenery (the library) and interesting conversation. I look forward to the next chapter to hear what the diamonds have to do with it all.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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You create nice scenery (the library) and interesting conversation. I look forward to the next chapter to hear what the diamonds have to do with it all.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Sorry for another delay but life threw me a curve and I ended up on a plane to North Carolina and my grandchildren. Surgery for one and Nana's care for the others. Settling down now for a few days so I wanted to make sure I thanked everyone for reading and commenting on the stories. I truly appreciate your time and comments... Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
You've really got me wondering how Fenton knows about the jewels and what he's going to share with Cooper. Good story. Nice dialogue that reveals character traits, especially as Cooper loses his cool for a bit. Blessings.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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You've really got me wondering how Fenton knows about the jewels and what he's going to share with Cooper. Good story. Nice dialogue that reveals character traits, especially as Cooper loses his cool for a bit. Blessings.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Sorry for another delay but life threw me a curve and I ended up on a plane to North Carolina and my grandchildren. Surgery for one and Nana's care for the others. Settling down now for a few days so I wanted to make sure I thanked everyone for reading and commenting on the stories. I truly appreciate your time and comments... Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from prettybluebirds
I do admire your storytelling skills. You can go from character to character and scene to scene without losing the reader. This chapter is great. I can't wait to see how it all comes together in the end.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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I do admire your storytelling skills. You can go from character to character and scene to scene without losing the reader. This chapter is great. I can't wait to see how it all comes together in the end.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Sorry for another delay but life threw me a curve and I ended up on a plane to North Carolina and my grandchildren. Surgery for one and Nana's care for the others. Settling down now for a few days so I wanted to make sure I thanked everyone for reading and commenting on the stories. I truly appreciate your time and comments... Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
I knew you would stop at that point - before he could say any more! Leaving us in suspense! You have descriped Fenton very well, and it is easy to imagine the scene unfolding. Now of course I can't wait for the next chapter. Well done.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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I knew you would stop at that point - before he could say any more! Leaving us in suspense! You have descriped Fenton very well, and it is easy to imagine the scene unfolding. Now of course I can't wait for the next chapter. Well done.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Sorry for another delay but life threw me a curve and I ended up on a plane to North Carolina and my grandchildren. Surgery for one and Nana's care for the others. Settling down now for a few days so I wanted to make sure I thanked everyone for reading and commenting on the stories. I truly appreciate your time and comments... Smiles and hugs, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, there was another witness to the stolen jewels. I wonder how Fenton knew. Was he in the bar? Did he follow Bennie's father? Or did he know from the bank teller?
Great job with describing the feelings and the emotional interplay between the tired doctor and the poor informant.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2022
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Oh, there was another witness to the stolen jewels. I wonder how Fenton knew. Was he in the bar? Did he follow Bennie's father? Or did he know from the bank teller?
Great job with describing the feelings and the emotional interplay between the tired doctor and the poor informant.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2022
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Here comes Miss Turtle... far behind as usual but better late than never. Thank you for enjoying the story and for sprinkling stars all over it. I appreciate YOU very much.
Hugs, Carol
Comment from royowen
A young man called Fenton Bradenson, calls to see Cooper and is amazed by the opulence of the study, he shares some knowledge of the jewellery heist and Costello's involvement in the heist, and Cooper shows his edginess. What could it be? Well done Carol, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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A young man called Fenton Bradenson, calls to see Cooper and is amazed by the opulence of the study, he shares some knowledge of the jewellery heist and Costello's involvement in the heist, and Cooper shows his edginess. What could it be? Well done Carol, blessings Roy
Comment Written 20-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
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Sorry for another delay but life threw me a curve and I ended up on a plane to North Carolina and my grandchildren. Surgery for one and Nana's care for the others. Settling down now for a few days so I wanted to make sure I thanked everyone for reading and commenting on the stories. I truly appreciate your time and comments... Smiles and hugs, Carol
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Bless you Carol
