Comment from Wayne Fowler

Excellent

Well done. But I'm pretty sure there's medication for that.
I had a reviewer count the words in one of my paragraphs and tell me to cut the 'monster' down. It was 140 words. Hah!
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2022

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2022

Thanks for the excellent review and the comments supporting the piece. There might be a medication, but medications come with side effects. Everything man made is corrupt. estory

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

It is sad, but there are really people like that. I have met some. Thank you for sharing this with us. You did a good job writing this and describing this person. I enjoyed reading.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2022

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2022

Thanks for the excellent review and I am glad the character came off as so realistic. I wanted this subject matter to hit home, and it has proved to be more popular than I would have thought. Maybe because it's short. But thanks for the flattering comments; especially meaningful coming from someone whose own work I find so high quality. estory

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

I think it may be easy to fall into this kind of trap and I 'm not sure our bodies don't conspire to cause the problem. Every night I wake up at 12:23 and have to go to the bathroom. I don't want to get up in the middle of the night but my body forces me to comply. When I realize my life is getting in a bog, I delibertately do something different. I enoyrd the storh.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2022

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2022

Thanks for the excellent review and the wonderful comments supporting this strange little piece, as well as the personal perspective on this subject matter. estory

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

I think it may be easy to fall into this kind of trap and I 'm not sure our bodies don't conspire to cause the problem. Every night I wake up at 12:23 and have to go to the bathroom. I don't want to get up in the middle of the night but my body forces me to comply. When I realize my life is getting in a bog, I delibertately do something different. I enoyrd the storh.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2022

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2022

Thanks again for the review. estory

Comment from BethShelby

Excellent

I think it may be easy to fall into this kind of trap and I 'm not sure our bodies don't conspire to cause the problem. Every night I wake up at 12:23 and have to go to the bathroom. I don't want to get up in the middle of the night but my body forces me to comply. When I realize my life is getting in a bog, I delibertately do something different. I enoyrd the storh.

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 Comment Written 17-Nov-2022

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2022

Thanks again e

Comment from Douglas Goff

Excellent

Very interesting fellow with OCD you are writing about.

Couple of easy fine tunes:

exactly 6:00Am; and after that he had to get out of bed every day at exactly 6:00AM.
( either all AM/PM or all am/pm).

Also, that same paragraph is 253 whopping words. There is a second one just as big in this story. Paragraph breaks give your readers mental breaks to take in what they just read. Not to mention it helps a reader to stay focused. Chop those things into 2 or 3 paragraphs each.

Your story is great. A few minor fixes and it will be awesome! Thanks for sharing!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-Nov-2022

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reply by the author on 19-Nov-2022

Thanks for the positive comments and the suggestions. I'll take a look at the structure but I try to keep paragraphs tethered to movements in the story itself. Paragraphs can be long, they can be short. estory

reply by Douglas Goff on 19-Nov-2022

No worries! Just a suggestion because people skip a review if the paragraphs are long