Christmas Letter
A current Christmas Letter16 total reviews
Comment from Brett Matthew West
May want to remove the A?A1/2 from behind the number 3. It is distracting and indicates editing was not performed prior to posting.
Marla and Rico's possible cause of seperation seems to indicate abuse, among other issues. Especially since she left with two still in diapers and apparently nothing but the clothes on their backs.
However, a good thing she appears to be receiving necessary assistance.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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May want to remove the A?A1/2 from behind the number 3. It is distracting and indicates editing was not performed prior to posting.
Marla and Rico's possible cause of seperation seems to indicate abuse, among other issues. Especially since she left with two still in diapers and apparently nothing but the clothes on their backs.
However, a good thing she appears to be receiving necessary assistance.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars. Have a blessed day.
Comment from Wendy G
It doubtless has not been an easy year for you, but it has probably brought much joy as well. Your two sections of the Christmas letter are an interesting way of sharing the background story. People generally only share the positive bits in their newsletters so it was good to see the honesty and realism here. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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It doubtless has not been an easy year for you, but it has probably brought much joy as well. Your two sections of the Christmas letter are an interesting way of sharing the background story. People generally only share the positive bits in their newsletters so it was good to see the honesty and realism here. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars. Have a blessed day.
Comment from lyenochka
I like this honest view of Christmas letters. The ones we receive are all so glossed over. Occasionally, we get one about a loved one's death, but mostly it's all about kids doing great. This one shows us the hard reality letter that wasn't sent and the more happy letter of a persevering and loving couple stretched to the max in giving care for their family members. Best wishes in the contest!
"Sure, No problem." (period instead of a comma)
We are excited to see the boy's awe (boys') since there are two
Jose is slightly over 3 �?�½, (three and a half) better to spell out numbers less than ten according to some grammar books and you can avoid FS graffiti
so she is very excited about Santa Clause (he? .... Claus)
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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I like this honest view of Christmas letters. The ones we receive are all so glossed over. Occasionally, we get one about a loved one's death, but mostly it's all about kids doing great. This one shows us the hard reality letter that wasn't sent and the more happy letter of a persevering and loving couple stretched to the max in giving care for their family members. Best wishes in the contest!
"Sure, No problem." (period instead of a comma)
We are excited to see the boy's awe (boys') since there are two
Jose is slightly over 3 �?�½, (three and a half) better to spell out numbers less than ten according to some grammar books and you can avoid FS graffiti
so she is very excited about Santa Clause (he? .... Claus)
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the editing errors you caught. Have a blessed day.
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Loved your double letter entry. It really reflects life!
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Tkx
Comment from Douglas Goff
Wow, common but tough situation.
Some catches:
Marla was exhausted, "Is it okay if we talk about this in the morning?"
(exhausted. "Is it)
Period because there is no speaking action word like said or told.
Also:
Drinking egg nog we talked about how this will change our lives.
(I would rework this by throwing in a comma after nog or by starting the sentence with the word while. Better flow)
Also:
Dave and I and Marla will keep it for ourselves.
(Dave, Maria, and I will keep it for ourselves)
Grammatically correct.
You are an excellent story teller. Just a few fine tunes. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Wow, common but tough situation.
Some catches:
Marla was exhausted, "Is it okay if we talk about this in the morning?"
(exhausted. "Is it)
Period because there is no speaking action word like said or told.
Also:
Drinking egg nog we talked about how this will change our lives.
(I would rework this by throwing in a comma after nog or by starting the sentence with the word while. Better flow)
Also:
Dave and I and Marla will keep it for ourselves.
(Dave, Maria, and I will keep it for ourselves)
Grammatically correct.
You are an excellent story teller. Just a few fine tunes. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars. I really want to let you know I appreciate your taking the time to edit. Have a blessed day.
Comment from JoannaN
I love your sense of humour :) The reference to Mary, Joseph and Jesus was a brilliant idea. This was such a creative, funny approach to this letter.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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I love your sense of humour :) The reference to Mary, Joseph and Jesus was a brilliant idea. This was such a creative, funny approach to this letter.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars. Have a blessed day.
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You're welcome :)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I am sure prayer is needed here and I will certainly add Marla and her boys to my list. Good luck with the contest.
Jose is a little over 3 �½ so her is very excited about Santa Clause. (Evil Eddie added his own script to this sentence, but I'm pretty sure you meant so HE is very.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I am sure prayer is needed here and I will certainly add Marla and her boys to my list. Good luck with the contest.
Jose is a little over 3 �½ so her is very excited about Santa Clause. (Evil Eddie added his own script to this sentence, but I'm pretty sure you meant so HE is very.)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate the many stars. Evil Eddie has never got me before Have a blessed day.
