Man in the Mirror
flash fiction13 total reviews
Comment from GWHARGIS
Ok. First, that was a very clever poem. The male trying to get rid of his female cross dressing personality. I liked that she noticed the mess and was totally unaware why it was messy. The surprise ending made this. Great job on this one. Gretchen
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Ok. First, that was a very clever poem. The male trying to get rid of his female cross dressing personality. I liked that she noticed the mess and was totally unaware why it was messy. The surprise ending made this. Great job on this one. Gretchen
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Gretchen
Comment from royowen
Flash fiction has that incredible component, it actually matches that of its much longer cousin, to be a self contained plot, characters, but with that added benefit of a fantastic fish, as yours gas, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Typo : Sat in the arm(ed) chair
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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Flash fiction has that incredible component, it actually matches that of its much longer cousin, to be a self contained plot, characters, but with that added benefit of a fantastic fish, as yours gas, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Typo : Sat in the arm(ed) chair
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Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Roy. I'll fix that.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Great writing.
Couple of things:
She saw her killer
(He didn't kill her so isn't her killer. Maybe 'the killer'
Also:
The following is a 30 word run-on sentence. Would be better broken in two:
Her accessories and essences had been set, haphazardly, on the table, so she needed to arrange the bottles, jars, and tubes in an order which would streamline her preparation process.
Good work on this. Great twist at the end!
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reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Great writing.
Couple of things:
She saw her killer
(He didn't kill her so isn't her killer. Maybe 'the killer'
Also:
The following is a 30 word run-on sentence. Would be better broken in two:
Her accessories and essences had been set, haphazardly, on the table, so she needed to arrange the bottles, jars, and tubes in an order which would streamline her preparation process.
Good work on this. Great twist at the end!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 14-Nov-2022
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Love your revision suggestions, Douglas, and might have gone for them if I was not such a clod. Either and both of your suggestions could be applied, but neither is necessary.
Erik Is killing Christine, so -- you know -- irony.
Also, though long, it isn't a run-on sentence, which would either exclude the subject or object. I have employed both a coordinating conjunction and conjunctive pronoun to enable a complete sentence.
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My suggestions are always just suggestions. This is a great story Keep it up!
