Shaft
A Black Jersey Rooster26 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Whoa! You selected this song and lyrics to model this Black Jersey Rooster on! I'm kind of thrilled I happened upon this when it is teetering on the edge of All Time Best. I hope this review puts you over because, hey Sandra, your humor is wry and your satire is sharp... And there's a deeper message for all who take the time to think!
Karenina
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2022
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Whoa! You selected this song and lyrics to model this Black Jersey Rooster on! I'm kind of thrilled I happened upon this when it is teetering on the edge of All Time Best. I hope this review puts you over because, hey Sandra, your humor is wry and your satire is sharp... And there's a deeper message for all who take the time to think!
Karenina
Comment Written 19-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 19-Dec-2022
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I hope you tipped the scale in my favor. Thanks for your fun review. I see you are doing some Sandy reading and that's appreciated. Hope all is better with your hubby and you.
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He is home and so as he napped this afternoon I had me some "Sandra" time!
I'll be back!
K
Comment from AP Apgar
John Shaft- Leroy's son-
I like this poem- too funny- baddest roster in the whole darn town raised by Leroy Brown - perched on king Kings shoulder - snacked on k-9 rooster feed made from junkyard dogs - hens dropped to their knees- bad I know -- complicated rooster -shut my beak - good job. AP
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
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John Shaft- Leroy's son-
I like this poem- too funny- baddest roster in the whole darn town raised by Leroy Brown - perched on king Kings shoulder - snacked on k-9 rooster feed made from junkyard dogs - hens dropped to their knees- bad I know -- complicated rooster -shut my beak - good job. AP
Comment Written 28-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
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Hahaha..You ain't right, but I like you! You see that's one of those songs embedded from YouTube. Thanks for the fun comment and the review rating.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Your story is cute and creative. I love the picture of the rooster you added to your writing. It adds a lot to the meaning of the words. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
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Your story is cute and creative. I love the picture of the rooster you added to your writing. It adds a lot to the meaning of the words. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the review rating. I came in second.
Comment from Dawn Munro
AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my goodness, I am sure glad I decided to look into your portfolio a bit. At first, I was brokenhearted, being reminded of the previous poem of yours I reviewed (we share that loss of a child, although my son was only an infant) but then I stumbled upon this one. It's made my day. I will be grinning until my face hurts.
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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AAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh my goodness, I am sure glad I decided to look into your portfolio a bit. At first, I was brokenhearted, being reminded of the previous poem of yours I reviewed (we share that loss of a child, although my son was only an infant) but then I stumbled upon this one. It's made my day. I will be grinning until my face hurts.
Comment Written 21-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 21-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the review of Shaft. It was a fun write. I laughed writing it.
Comment from Terry Broxson
LOL, what a great poem you have written for this contest. Good luck. I would like to suggest something really smart that would improve your poem, but I can't think of a thing that would not get me arrested. Excellent work, as usual. Terry.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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LOL, what a great poem you have written for this contest. Good luck. I would like to suggest something really smart that would improve your poem, but I can't think of a thing that would not get me arrested. Excellent work, as usual. Terry.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Thank you, Terry, for your review. It came in at second place. A poem comparing dogs to Mother Teresa won. A raunchy rooster cannot beat the holy and sanctified Mother Teresa. It is how life should be,
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LOL, I feel your pain. Yeah, that's tough. Terry.
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No, I am fine with it. I want goodness to always win over raunch~ unless it's good raunch in my private space. LOL Don't blush, you know you are dealing with a Peahen! LOL
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LOL, You are a hoot!!!
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You are only scratching the surface. LOL
Comment from June Sargent
Yeah, I can totally picture this black rooster strutting around telling all the other hen-pecked cockadoodles to shut their mouths! Who could forget that song so iconic of the funkadelic 70s. I enjoyed this fun piece.
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Yeah, I can totally picture this black rooster strutting around telling all the other hen-pecked cockadoodles to shut their mouths! Who could forget that song so iconic of the funkadelic 70s. I enjoyed this fun piece.
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for the review.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Sandra, this was fantastic! Staying true to the song while keeping it down on the farm, throwing in some cock-a-doodle innuendo . . .
Very creative - loved it:-)
Now I'm gonna just shut my mouth!
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Sandra, this was fantastic! Staying true to the song while keeping it down on the farm, throwing in some cock-a-doodle innuendo . . .
Very creative - loved it:-)
Now I'm gonna just shut my mouth!
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022
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Haha...this was a fun review. Thanks for doing it.
Comment from susand3022
Hi Sandra,
I found this "Shaft" reference really cute. I do remember watching Shaft back in the day. ;)
I'm going to make a suggestion here, I don't want you to take it the wrong way, I'm not wanting to be critical, just a teacher...
If you're going for a Free Verse here, as I expect you are, you will still want to find some kind of rhythm to your words. You'll want it to read smoothly. At times this may include throwing in the occasional metered word, something that's two syllables instead of one, or something like that, to make it read better.
You may instead, decide to throw in a loose rhyme scheme. If you do, just make sure you follow it through.
As a Free Verse, you may do a bit of each to make it feel right... that would be up to the writer. I'm in no way a Free Verse professional!
I will say though: Read your poems to yourself, out loud, and if you stumble, or if it sounds awkward, it needs fixing.
My personal favorite place to use online is Rhyme Zone. I thought everyone knew about it, apparently not since I just mentioned it to someone else and she was more than a little enthusiastic about it! You can find more than rhymes there, they also have a thesaurus, and other tools. It's very easy to use. A writer's paradise.
Hope this helps
Love that baddas Black Jersey Rooster... Not like a RI Red. ;)
Susan :)
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Hi Sandra,
I found this "Shaft" reference really cute. I do remember watching Shaft back in the day. ;)
I'm going to make a suggestion here, I don't want you to take it the wrong way, I'm not wanting to be critical, just a teacher...
If you're going for a Free Verse here, as I expect you are, you will still want to find some kind of rhythm to your words. You'll want it to read smoothly. At times this may include throwing in the occasional metered word, something that's two syllables instead of one, or something like that, to make it read better.
You may instead, decide to throw in a loose rhyme scheme. If you do, just make sure you follow it through.
As a Free Verse, you may do a bit of each to make it feel right... that would be up to the writer. I'm in no way a Free Verse professional!
I will say though: Read your poems to yourself, out loud, and if you stumble, or if it sounds awkward, it needs fixing.
My personal favorite place to use online is Rhyme Zone. I thought everyone knew about it, apparently not since I just mentioned it to someone else and she was more than a little enthusiastic about it! You can find more than rhymes there, they also have a thesaurus, and other tools. It's very easy to use. A writer's paradise.
Hope this helps
Love that baddas Black Jersey Rooster... Not like a RI Red. ;)
Susan :)
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you for your detailed review and I will for sure check out rhyme zone. Were there particular areas in this poem that you feel needs to be addressed? I typically write only free verse poems. Thank you!
Comment from LJbutterfly
I remember the movie SHAFT very well. My husband bought the sound tract. The movie stood out because Richard Roundtree was the first black action figure I had seen. Your Black Jersey Rooster poem, and picture well represent the 1970s character. Your work is quite imaginative.
My favorite line: "Other roosters wondered about their cocks and their doodle-dos when Shaft swaggered by."
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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I remember the movie SHAFT very well. My husband bought the sound tract. The movie stood out because Richard Roundtree was the first black action figure I had seen. Your Black Jersey Rooster poem, and picture well represent the 1970s character. Your work is quite imaginative.
My favorite line: "Other roosters wondered about their cocks and their doodle-dos when Shaft swaggered by."
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you for your review. You are correct about him being the first black action actor.
Comment from royowen
I remember the film, (was it a TV series?) yes, he was a rooster and a half. A sort of male wannabe, the sort most men dream of being but can never really make it. This is great, the imagery is exactly as you meant it to be, well done Sandra, blessings Roy
Typo : When shaft swaggered (pass) past?
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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I remember the film, (was it a TV series?) yes, he was a rooster and a half. A sort of male wannabe, the sort most men dream of being but can never really make it. This is great, the imagery is exactly as you meant it to be, well done Sandra, blessings Roy
Typo : When shaft swaggered (pass) past?
Comment Written 16-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thanks for the review. I think there were several Shaft movies, but I don't recall a TV show.
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One way or tother.
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Thank you for catching that. no one else did. Appreciated.
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A pleasure
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Thanks!
