Monsters In The Bedroom
A Snoring Story30 total reviews
Comment from jessizero
That really was a surprise ending! I enjoyed reading your story. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I definitely wasn't expecting that! Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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That really was a surprise ending! I enjoyed reading your story. I didn't know what was going to happen, but I definitely wasn't expecting that! Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Thanks so much for your kind review !!=
Comment from royowen
Heh heh, just loved it. It's the way a flash fiction should end, with a bang not a whimper. A super job my friend, the whole suspense thing you worked very well indeed, this is a great entry in this contest, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Heh heh, just loved it. It's the way a flash fiction should end, with a bang not a whimper. A super job my friend, the whole suspense thing you worked very well indeed, this is a great entry in this contest, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Thanks so much for your kind review !!
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Most welcome
Comment from Tpa
I enjoyed your story and it certainly had a surprised ending. I saw no editorial nor grammar errors and wish well for that most entertaining work.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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I enjoyed your story and it certainly had a surprised ending. I saw no editorial nor grammar errors and wish well for that most entertaining work.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Thanks so much for your kind review !!
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
You must live with someone who snores, otherwise how would you know about how strong the urge to kill can become after years of little or no sleep and no remedy anywhere. Tried everything. The ending was a surprise, but you know Irma was probably on the other side thankful for the prospect of a long uninterrupted sleep. Thought this was a creative way to handle the perimeters of the flash fiction contest...you did a lot in less than 600 words.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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You must live with someone who snores, otherwise how would you know about how strong the urge to kill can become after years of little or no sleep and no remedy anywhere. Tried everything. The ending was a surprise, but you know Irma was probably on the other side thankful for the prospect of a long uninterrupted sleep. Thought this was a creative way to handle the perimeters of the flash fiction contest...you did a lot in less than 600 words.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Thanks so much for your kind review !! Yeah, snoring is no stranger to our fam!!!
Comment from Mary Shifman
I enjoyed reading this story and I can commiserate on the frustration of trying to sleep when your husband's nearly raise the roof. I have to say, I never contemplated killing either of them. I moved out of the bedroom with husband number one. I guess I got used to husband number two's snoring. Sometimes it would infiltrate my dreams in which I would find myself stumbling through dark forests pursued by growling werewolves or some other scary creature. If I poked him hard enough, I could get him to turn on his side and cease snoring. Sometimes I miss it.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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I enjoyed reading this story and I can commiserate on the frustration of trying to sleep when your husband's nearly raise the roof. I have to say, I never contemplated killing either of them. I moved out of the bedroom with husband number one. I guess I got used to husband number two's snoring. Sometimes it would infiltrate my dreams in which I would find myself stumbling through dark forests pursued by growling werewolves or some other scary creature. If I poked him hard enough, I could get him to turn on his side and cease snoring. Sometimes I miss it.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Ha ha!!! There has been elbowing, kneeing, hair pulling and God knows what...!
Thanks so much for your kind review !!
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You are welcome. I'm sure many wives and/or husbands would appreciate your story.
Comment from LJbutterfly
You achieved your goal. The end of the story was a surprise. I guess that when Irma fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, Freddy put the cloth over her face. She won't be nagging him about snoring ever again. Great story. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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You achieved your goal. The end of the story was a surprise. I guess that when Irma fell into a deep, peaceful sleep, Freddy put the cloth over her face. She won't be nagging him about snoring ever again. Great story. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Thanks so much for the constructive review and for your wishes.
Comment from Moonbeams Musings 55
I loved this, great job! Talk about a surprise ending. The flow was great. I could feel the animosity throughout the poem. I even held my breath when he kept waking up. Excellent job.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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I loved this, great job! Talk about a surprise ending. The flow was great. I could feel the animosity throughout the poem. I even held my breath when he kept waking up. Excellent job.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Thanks for the constructive review and for your encouragement!
Comment from Dr. Von
I like the story elements that you framed very well. The intro, challenge, resolution, result, then the surprise all flow in solid lines. You wrote a captivating story with a surprise ending that exceeds the writing prompt. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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I like the story elements that you framed very well. The intro, challenge, resolution, result, then the surprise all flow in solid lines. You wrote a captivating story with a surprise ending that exceeds the writing prompt. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Thanks for the constructive review and for your wishes!!
Comment from Jesse James Doty
I thought I knew what was coming but yes, you did surprise me! Freddie must have killed Irma in her sleep instead of the other way around! This is something that we should not try at home said the disclaimer in the author's notes. For sure! I wouldn't be caught dead trying this on anyone! Ha ha,
Jesse
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reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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I thought I knew what was coming but yes, you did surprise me! Freddie must have killed Irma in her sleep instead of the other way around! This is something that we should not try at home said the disclaimer in the author's notes. For sure! I wouldn't be caught dead trying this on anyone! Ha ha,
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Completely correct!!
Thanks for the constructive review and for your encouragement!
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Good luck winning the contest!
Jesse
Comment from JoannaN
This is definitely a surprising and gripping story. I was almost expected zombies to jump out in any moment. It turned out it is humans who can be the greatest monsters of all, not zombies. Thanks for sharing this story :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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This is definitely a surprising and gripping story. I was almost expected zombies to jump out in any moment. It turned out it is humans who can be the greatest monsters of all, not zombies. Thanks for sharing this story :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Thanks for your review!!
