The Best Time of Ohmie's Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 22 "Best Time of Ohmie's Life pt 22"Dying of cancer, Ohmie learns his parents are spie
9 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
I guess all spies have a softer side, well, at least those of the teenage variety. LOL. And of course, you know mom would have to choke up a little too. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
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I guess all spies have a softer side, well, at least those of the teenage variety. LOL. And of course, you know mom would have to choke up a little too. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 13-Nov-2022
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Thank you.
The model I'm using is the Daniel Craig 007 type, he and an equally tough wife, who are saddled with a dying son.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I like this easy-times chapter, Wayne. Ohmie and his mom get to spend cherished personal time together, while both facing the inevitable. But it looks like it won't be over yet. Well done.
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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I like this easy-times chapter, Wayne. Ohmie and his mom get to spend cherished personal time together, while both facing the inevitable. But it looks like it won't be over yet. Well done.
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Thank you. You are right - a ways to go.
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You're welcome, Wayne. I'll probably catch the rest of it from the link you sent.
Comment from lyenochka
I like how you did the emotions in this one. At this time of Ohmie's nearing death, mom and son are easily sent to laughter and tears. It seems like Ohmie is considering the meaning of life and might find some answers in Rome...
Serious typo here:
It was one of Leonardo da Vinci's major life's work (Michelangelo)
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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I like how you did the emotions in this one. At this time of Ohmie's nearing death, mom and son are easily sent to laughter and tears. It seems like Ohmie is considering the meaning of life and might find some answers in Rome...
Serious typo here:
It was one of Leonardo da Vinci's major life's work (Michelangelo)
Comment Written 11-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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Thank you!
Wow. I even looked it up to make sure, changing my original to da Vinci.
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The Sistine Chapel is by Michelangelo. They were in the Louvre so they could have seen da Vinci's works there...
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Thanks again.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Great post, Wayne. This has the feel of a story drawing to a close:-(
Written we'll, my friend, I didn't notice any spag's, and it again had a nice pace and telling dialogue.
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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Great post, Wayne. This has the feel of a story drawing to a close:-(
Written we'll, my friend, I didn't notice any spag's, and it again had a nice pace and telling dialogue.
Comment Written 11-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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Thank you.
16 (17) chapters more. (You'll see why the ())
Comment from Wendy G
Facing the reality of Ohmie's death is hard for him, and his mother, and the readers. What will happen then? Will he come back to life? Meanwhile, your story is interesting and engaging as we continue to hope for the best possible outcome for him and his family!
Wendy
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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Facing the reality of Ohmie's death is hard for him, and his mother, and the readers. What will happen then? Will he come back to life? Meanwhile, your story is interesting and engaging as we continue to hope for the best possible outcome for him and his family!
Wendy
Comment Written 10-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 11-Nov-2022
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Thank you.
It is, afterall, the 'best' time of Ohmie's life!
Comment from Susan Newell
Wayne,
Ohmie is certainly having the times of his life. There isn't much he hasn't or won't see throughout Europe. I remain engaged in his story. A couple notes follow.
Sue
You know, to get to the bathroom easier." -- delete closing quotes since he continues speaking in the following paragraph
racking the slide to check that a round was chambered, and the clicking off the safety. -- then clicking?
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2022
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Wayne,
Ohmie is certainly having the times of his life. There isn't much he hasn't or won't see throughout Europe. I remain engaged in his story. A couple notes follow.
Sue
You know, to get to the bathroom easier." -- delete closing quotes since he continues speaking in the following paragraph
racking the slide to check that a round was chambered, and the clicking off the safety. -- then clicking?
Comment Written 10-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2022
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Thank you.
I know about continuing quotes, but it seems many reviewers do not.
I think I'll opt for correct punctuation rather than appeasement.
Comment from Ricky1024
This part 22 was well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
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The Adjective is the Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while the Descriptive Aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky1024
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2022
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This part 22 was well written rich in theme and Imagery.
It also, read well and flowed well with no Grammar Issues.
...
The Adjective is the Objective Contents were both Excellent and Exceptional while the Descriptive Aligned Perfectly.
Doctor Ricky1024
Comment Written 10-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the great review.
Comment from Douglas Goff
This is another great addition to the Adventires of Ohmie. You created a great character here.
The second paragraph is a 101 word monster. I lost focus half way through and had to reread it. It has a natural solid break after the word Venice. That would be a much better structure, my friend!
You are a great writer. I enjoy you! Thanks!
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2022
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This is another great addition to the Adventires of Ohmie. You created a great character here.
The second paragraph is a 101 word monster. I lost focus half way through and had to reread it. It has a natural solid break after the word Venice. That would be a much better structure, my friend!
You are a great writer. I enjoy you! Thanks!
Comment Written 10-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the great review.
I'll definitely look at the long paragraph.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Oh Hell. In lots of ways it's starting to feel as though the end is drawing near. You are doing quite a good job of actually not blurting it out directly, and a really excellent job of letting it seep out indirectly bit by bit. Well done. Kate xx
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2022
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Oh Hell. In lots of ways it's starting to feel as though the end is drawing near. You are doing quite a good job of actually not blurting it out directly, and a really excellent job of letting it seep out indirectly bit by bit. Well done. Kate xx
Comment Written 10-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 10-Nov-2022
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Thank you for a great tribute to the character, Ohmie!
Dare I spoil it by telling you there are 19 more chapters?
(Pretend I didn't tell you.)
