The Best Time of Ohmie's Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 " Best Time of Ohmie's Life pt 21"Dying of cancer, Ohmie learns his parents are spie
8 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
I liked the description of the special smile that gives Ohmie's mom those giggles. It really shows their connection and makes the mom-to-son connection real.
The spyware is a bit too realistic as it is clear that Russia has been meddling in the US political scene. It is known that Russian operatives attend NRA events to be introduced to governors and senators whom they can wine and dine. It's a shame that Republicans don't realize that they have been used! (Sorry, it's one of my soapboxes!)
Thanks for the mention in the notes!
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2022
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I liked the description of the special smile that gives Ohmie's mom those giggles. It really shows their connection and makes the mom-to-son connection real.
The spyware is a bit too realistic as it is clear that Russia has been meddling in the US political scene. It is known that Russian operatives attend NRA events to be introduced to governors and senators whom they can wine and dine. It's a shame that Republicans don't realize that they have been used! (Sorry, it's one of my soapboxes!)
Thanks for the mention in the notes!
Comment Written 08-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2022
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Amen!
And the Nov 8 election showed some Americans to be totally duped.
Thank you for the review.
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I generally conservative nonpartisan but that ex-president has really soured me on the Republican party.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Ohmie is such a clever boy, getting everything done he'd planned to do, despite his illness taking him down. I'm glad he's back with his mother now, and she has the thumb USB drive. This is very well written, Wayne.
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2022
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Ohmie is such a clever boy, getting everything done he'd planned to do, despite his illness taking him down. I'm glad he's back with his mother now, and she has the thumb USB drive. This is very well written, Wayne.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 09-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the very nice review.
Comment from Wendy G
Ohmie is amazing. How long it would have taken me to buy a second hand computer - but he just does it! And he's so I'll. The story line continues well, as is the development of the mother-son relationship - a lot of very nice insights showing how well they understand and love each other.
Wendy
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Ohmie is amazing. How long it would have taken me to buy a second hand computer - but he just does it! And he's so I'll. The story line continues well, as is the development of the mother-son relationship - a lot of very nice insights showing how well they understand and love each other.
Wendy
Comment Written 06-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Thank you. I suppose I have my own mother/son experience to thank for the Ohmie/Mom relationship.
Comment from Michaela Moore
Oh, now, see? This chapter is incredible. I love the time you took just building the mom-and-son relationship. And the descriptions of Ohmie's illness because he is seriously ill. This brings more enduring realism back to the book. I adore this chapter. I think it was so needed, and it fulfilled a tremendous emotional need in me as a reader of these characters. Well done!
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Oh, now, see? This chapter is incredible. I love the time you took just building the mom-and-son relationship. And the descriptions of Ohmie's illness because he is seriously ill. This brings more enduring realism back to the book. I adore this chapter. I think it was so needed, and it fulfilled a tremendous emotional need in me as a reader of these characters. Well done!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Thank you! I've written a lot over the decades, but Ohmie is the first character to help me write.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Wayne, I had all kinds of comments written and then hit a key on my phone that took me away from FanStory - I'm not sure how it happened, but can retrieve it. So sorry. But I can rate it still.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Wayne, I had all kinds of comments written and then hit a key on my phone that took me away from FanStory - I'm not sure how it happened, but can retrieve it. So sorry. But I can rate it still.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Were they correction?
Thank you for the review, regardless.
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No, just comments on the story.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
What you are doing is so hard, writing about a character dying, and trying to get on with life as he does so. You managed to get across well the toll Ohmie has to pay for an active day or two, and how he and the people around him cope with that. Well done Kate xx
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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What you are doing is so hard, writing about a character dying, and trying to get on with life as he does so. You managed to get across well the toll Ohmie has to pay for an active day or two, and how he and the people around him cope with that. Well done Kate xx
Comment Written 06-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Very nice review. Thank you.
Comment from Susan Newell
Wayne,
This is another great chapter. You have done very well showing Ohmie's deteriorating condition and his self-awareness. Interesting twist to make the subterfuge about election interfering.
Sue
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Wayne,
This is another great chapter. You have done very well showing Ohmie's deteriorating condition and his self-awareness. Interesting twist to make the subterfuge about election interfering.
Sue
Comment Written 06-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Thank you for your very nice review.
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Most welcome, Wayne.
Comment from Douglas Goff
Good morning Wayne! I love the Ohmie stories and following along with his adventures is enjoyable.
The writing and concept is exceptional. The only issue is the monster paragraphs.
1st paragraph is a 127 words the second and fourteenth paragraphs are also over a hundred words.
You got to pull out the old sword and chop these monsters down. Paragraph breaks are for the reader. The pauses give mental breaks so the reader can analyze what was said and stay focused. Just my two cents.
Keep up the good work. Your story line is solid, my friend!
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Good morning Wayne! I love the Ohmie stories and following along with his adventures is enjoyable.
The writing and concept is exceptional. The only issue is the monster paragraphs.
1st paragraph is a 127 words the second and fourteenth paragraphs are also over a hundred words.
You got to pull out the old sword and chop these monsters down. Paragraph breaks are for the reader. The pauses give mental breaks so the reader can analyze what was said and stay focused. Just my two cents.
Keep up the good work. Your story line is solid, my friend!
Comment Written 06-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the review.
My trouble is that when the paragraph begins on subject 'x', I feel like that's the place to say 'x'. And whether it is a 'T' paragraph, '+' paragraph, or an 'I' paragraph with respect to the topic sentence and supporting sentences, they belong together.
But I will try harder to ensure I don't introduce 'y' into an 'x' paragraph.
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You can definitely cut at dialogue. Regardless, your work is great!
