Comment from Jesse James Doty

Excellent

It doesn't seem fair that you are allowed to post this as a story when it is clearly a poem dressed in a story's clothing. This is a metaphor of course but you probably get my drift. I think you should post this as poetry and add to the author's notes the part above the poem. Otherwise, you get an extra day and more member dollars given for using the story certificate.
Jesse

 Comment Written 09-Nov-2022

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reply by the author on 09-Nov-2022

Thank you Jesse for reviewing this and understanding and of course.
Doctor Ricky 1024

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

When we lose a child, some of us go with them and never return. It must have taken you a while to come up with all those numbers. I don't want to know how many days, hours, or seconds since November 30th, 1985 when my son left this earth.

 Comment Written 04-Nov-2022

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reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022

Well first off thanks for your review Pretty Blue Birds
Yes, when I first decided to do a complete countdown from years, to months, to weeks, to days, to minutes; and then seconds.
For when my son was donated.
It was a powerful addition to what I was writing.
Because you can break it up into the six segments and then present it even more powerful.
But when you wrote that when you lose a child some of us go with them and never.
Which is exactly what happened to me.
I just rent this body.
Doctor Ricky 1024