The Red Poppy
Poppy Poem contest entry11 total reviews
Comment from Marienkiefer
You deal with an important topic here and several tours of duty. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder also a compelling issue reflected.
Lovely rhyme. Congratulations on your recent success with this poem. All the best.
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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You deal with an important topic here and several tours of duty. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder also a compelling issue reflected.
Lovely rhyme. Congratulations on your recent success with this poem. All the best.
Comment Written 06-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 06-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the great review and giant sixer, Marine. I appreciate the gracious rating and congrats. I'm glad you liked the piece. Have a fantastic rest of your weekend.
=]
Ron
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, The Red Poppy, reminds the readers of sacrifice. That sacrifice comes in many forms. We give away innocence, compassion, and peace of mind. All are changed.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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This poem, The Red Poppy, reminds the readers of sacrifice. That sacrifice comes in many forms. We give away innocence, compassion, and peace of mind. All are changed.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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That's for sure, my friend. Thank you for the great review and stars, Bill. I really appreciate the comments. Have a great rest of your weekend.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a well -written poem with great emotional impact. I like dark, truthful poetry. The text is a nice size. The message is clear and strong. In these two lines I was unsure of your meaning. Did you mean to say "didn't return" (because he was killed or was so emotionally damaged, he wasn't the same)
We made it home alive but still
my brother then returned.
Where you have you's as a contraction I would write it out because the plural of you is also written that way.
The visual is stunning. Good luck in the contest. I would vote for this poem.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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This is a well -written poem with great emotional impact. I like dark, truthful poetry. The text is a nice size. The message is clear and strong. In these two lines I was unsure of your meaning. Did you mean to say "didn't return" (because he was killed or was so emotionally damaged, he wasn't the same)
We made it home alive but still
my brother then returned.
Where you have you's as a contraction I would write it out because the plural of you is also written that way.
The visual is stunning. Good luck in the contest. I would vote for this poem.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the great review, Sandra. That line was meaning that after they got home alive, the brother went back the war to fight some more. Yeah, I couldn't lengthen the line with 'you's' in it or that would throw one too many syllables in there and mess up the meter. I can't really figure out a way to fix it. Lol. This piece is actually being voted on in the booth today. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes, Sandra. I'm glad you liked this dark piece.
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I understand about meter, but clarity will always win out for me. I am a veteran, and my brother is a Vietnam veteran. War cannot be spoken of in light, sweet terms. You have a great poem, and I voted for it. You are welcome.
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I was lucky and never did see any combat. My wife's son nearly died in Iraq. He was shot by a sniper in the chest while working on a vehicle. Thank God his gear saved him. He saw some serious horrific stuff as well. A couple of his friends died in front of him. I couldn't imagine. He seemed to adapt to regular life after it but I can surely see how some could not. That's what this piece was getting at. Thank you again for the great review and support, Sandra.
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Amen, my brother saw things he has yet to talk about. He is also battling cancer from the Agent Orange the USA sprayed on the vegetation the soldiers had to crawl through. I was stationed in the American sector behind the Berlin Wall. You are welcome.
Comment from LyndaS
So glad to read that this is fictional. War is so horrific that I'm sure that the truth lies with people who come back very scarred and damaged. This is a troubled subject that you have tackled well. Structurally, your poem is sound, meter spot on, but the picture almost scared me off from even opening it. You have told a heartbreaking story in a well written poem. A brave post and I hope you do well with this.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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So glad to read that this is fictional. War is so horrific that I'm sure that the truth lies with people who come back very scarred and damaged. This is a troubled subject that you have tackled well. Structurally, your poem is sound, meter spot on, but the picture almost scared me off from even opening it. You have told a heartbreaking story in a well written poem. A brave post and I hope you do well with this.
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the awesome review and giant sixer, Lynda. I was lucky and never actually saw any war while I was in the service. Thanks to the big man upstairs, that's for sure. I couldn't imagine having to go through that but could see someone turning into this when forced to. I dearly appreciate the generous stars and glad you made it past the picture for the read. I figured the pic would do that for a few people. Lol. I'm glad you liked this dark, little piece. Thank you again. I hope you have a great rest of your weekend.
Comment from Wendy G
It may be fiction, but sometimes fiction is a hair's breadth away from fact, and what you have described is not unknown by any means. Your poem is vivid and very moving. This consequence of a change in one's whole personality and psyche is sometimes even worse than death. Very well written, and you show great creativity with the prompt. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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It may be fiction, but sometimes fiction is a hair's breadth away from fact, and what you have described is not unknown by any means. Your poem is vivid and very moving. This consequence of a change in one's whole personality and psyche is sometimes even worse than death. Very well written, and you show great creativity with the prompt. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the kind review, Wendy. Yes, I'm sure many have turned into this when forced to go through the wiles of war. It's so senseless and sad. I was lucky and never had to see war while in the service. Thank God for that. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes, Wendy. Thank you again.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I have read a lot about many wars, and don't find your poem as fictional as all that. The horrors seen (India mutinies for example) or drugs etc. (Vietnam) turned many healthy young boys into bloodthirsty killers who took delight in what they were doing. The tragedy was thet they couldn't re-integrate into a world after war, and their governments didn't help them as they should have given their sacrifices. Kate xx
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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I have read a lot about many wars, and don't find your poem as fictional as all that. The horrors seen (India mutinies for example) or drugs etc. (Vietnam) turned many healthy young boys into bloodthirsty killers who took delight in what they were doing. The tragedy was thet they couldn't re-integrate into a world after war, and their governments didn't help them as they should have given their sacrifices. Kate xx
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the great review, Kate. Yes, I'm sure too many returned damaged beyond repair. And, yes, our government sadly let them down. I luckily avoided war while serving. Praise God for that. My wife's son was in Iraq and was shot in the chest by a sniper while he worked on a vehicle. Again, praise to God his gear saved his life. He had a couple friends die in front of him. I couldn't imagine. I dearly appreciate the generous, Kate. Thank you again.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A skilful write, perfect metre and rhymes with very sad sentiments. A man is often scared when he is trained to kill as it goes against all we have been taught in life and returning to normality is almost impossible. When you kill life has no meaning and one has little regard for our own life. A good entry for the contest and I wish I had a six for you, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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A skilful write, perfect metre and rhymes with very sad sentiments. A man is often scared when he is trained to kill as it goes against all we have been taught in life and returning to normality is almost impossible. When you kill life has no meaning and one has little regard for our own life. A good entry for the contest and I wish I had a six for you, love Dolly x
Comment Written 05-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the great review and big six offer, Dolly. I really just wanted to go a different route for the contest and went with it. I really appreciate the generous stars and kind comments. I'm glad you liked this dark piece. Have yourself a fantastic weekend and thank you again.
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You enjoy your weekend too x x x
Comment from prettybluebirds
Yeah, it does have a rather dark message, but it is so skillfully written the message can be overlooked. I enjoyed the poem, and it shows great poetic style. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest. I don't think you wasted your money.
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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Yeah, it does have a rather dark message, but it is so skillfully written the message can be overlooked. I enjoyed the poem, and it shows great poetic style. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest. I don't think you wasted your money.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 05-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the fantastic review, Pretty. Yeah, I just wanted to go a different direction for this one. I really appreciate the kind comments and good luck wishes. I'm glad you liked this dark piece. Have yourself a great weekend.
Comment from royowen
I think the battlefield raises its own sons, what was pure, becomes defiled, what was once innocent can never be the same, ideals have changed, what was written in love, is lost in the mud and mire of battle, this is a beautifully written poem, in ballad style, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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I think the battlefield raises its own sons, what was pure, becomes defiled, what was once innocent can never be the same, ideals have changed, what was written in love, is lost in the mud and mire of battle, this is a beautifully written poem, in ballad style, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 04-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the awesome review, Roy. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes, friend. I'm glad you liked my sad tale. Have yourself a great weekend.
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Most welcome
Comment from Sally Law
A moving poem for the poppy prompt and aptly illustrated. You told the story well, as if you were the brother.
One improvement for your wonderful post:
"Kill them all," is what [he'd] jest.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sally Law :))
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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A moving poem for the poppy prompt and aptly illustrated. You told the story well, as if you were the brother.
One improvement for your wonderful post:
"Kill them all," is what [he'd] jest.
Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sally Law :))
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 04-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the fantastic review and for catching the goof, Sally. I fixed it. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes. Have yourself a wonderful weekend.
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No worries, we all have typos. Best wishes for the upcoming contest! Sal :))
