Challenge Accepted
2nd Place Finish24 total reviews
Comment from JoannaN
This story sounds very professional. We are immediately immersed in the action. Your story is intriguing, and the ending provides us with a conclusion. Kudos for using such a weird, funny word as whirlydurdle (I had to google it :) ).
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2022
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This story sounds very professional. We are immediately immersed in the action. Your story is intriguing, and the ending provides us with a conclusion. Kudos for using such a weird, funny word as whirlydurdle (I had to google it :) ).
Comment Written 30-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2022
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Thanks! It was fun to write.
Comment from nomi338
That is clever writing. I did not expect much of what was written. To me that is the classic way to shock and surprise your reader. You have a lot of potential as a writer of this genre. Congratulations.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2022
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That is clever writing. I did not expect much of what was written. To me that is the classic way to shock and surprise your reader. You have a lot of potential as a writer of this genre. Congratulations.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2022
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Thank kind Sir. I enjoyed this write-up!
Comment from BethShelby
This is good flash fiction. I don't remember reading your writing before but since you read one of my stories I thought I'd do the same for you. This little piece of fiction had me trapped from the beginning. It had an excellent surprise ending.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2022
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This is good flash fiction. I don't remember reading your writing before but since you read one of my stories I thought I'd do the same for you. This little piece of fiction had me trapped from the beginning. It had an excellent surprise ending.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2022
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Thank you. I appreciate your reciprocation!
Comment from lyenochka
What an engaging story! I was not certain if this was science fiction or a poor man trapped in endless cycles of a video game. You described the scenario well. Congratulations on your second place finish!
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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What an engaging story! I was not certain if this was science fiction or a poor man trapped in endless cycles of a video game. You described the scenario well. Congratulations on your second place finish!
Comment Written 28-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Thank you! This was a fun contest. Appreciate you!
Comment from Dr. Von
I like your storyline. The contest writing prompt is met in a great storyline that is sharp with description. As usual, your writing leaves the reader with a hunger for more of the story. Good writing. Thank you for your creativity.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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I like your storyline. The contest writing prompt is met in a great storyline that is sharp with description. As usual, your writing leaves the reader with a hunger for more of the story. Good writing. Thank you for your creativity.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Thank you Sir! I think I may play with this and develop this story further.
I appreciate your review my friend!
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You are welcome. I think that is a great idea.
Comment from Thesis
I like how you wrote this story. It immediately put the reader observing the scene with the main character facing a dangerous creature. The significance of the sapphire unfolds later and reveals what the character is trying to accomplish. I enjoyed reading this.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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I like how you wrote this story. It immediately put the reader observing the scene with the main character facing a dangerous creature. The significance of the sapphire unfolds later and reveals what the character is trying to accomplish. I enjoyed reading this.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Thanks. It was fun!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
How original is this? There's getting lost, and then there's losing touch with reality. I found this piece to be well-written (one suggestion below) and wildly creative. Sapphires, huh? Perhaps there's another story that explains WHY sapphires:-)
I would remove the comma after "Maybe in his first reality jump" as it slows the sentence down and isn't necessary.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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How original is this? There's getting lost, and then there's losing touch with reality. I found this piece to be well-written (one suggestion below) and wildly creative. Sapphires, huh? Perhaps there's another story that explains WHY sapphires:-)
I would remove the comma after "Maybe in his first reality jump" as it slows the sentence down and isn't necessary.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2022
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Thank you so much for the six and for the tip. You are awesome. Not a star at the top of the page awesome, but fresh MacDonald's French fry awesome!!! I appreciate the review!
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LOL, glad I could be awesome for you, but I hate McDonald's! Can I be something other than their French fries?!
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Hmmmm what else do I really dig as much as McDonald's fries . . . okay, got it.
You are as awesome as a Monday night Pittsburgh Steelers football game! Ta da!!!
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I applaud your efforts. Dolphins fan for the last 50 years.
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Awww man. Fluffy kittens? Caramel apples? A 1st Place on Fanstory?
You have a great evening and weekend. Thank you for taking the time to review myself. You are AWESOME!
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I love fluffy kittens! Have a great weekend yourself.
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Douglas,
Well done on your story. It was engaging. I was wondering what was going to happen when he found himself in the padded room; then he saw the sapphire ring. This was a fun read. Thanks for sharing.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Hello Douglas,
Well done on your story. It was engaging. I was wondering what was going to happen when he found himself in the padded room; then he saw the sapphire ring. This was a fun read. Thanks for sharing.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Thanks Tom. I am going to explore and develop this story more, I think.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your story was intense, Douglas. I was engaged from
start to finish. You did a great job setting the scene
about to take place. Your words were smooth flowing
and very descriptive. I wouldn't want to fight a whirlydurdle--
that was a great name for a monster. I liked how the ending
ed to another beginning.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Your story was intense, Douglas. I was engaged from
start to finish. You did a great job setting the scene
about to take place. Your words were smooth flowing
and very descriptive. I wouldn't want to fight a whirlydurdle--
that was a great name for a monster. I liked how the ending
ed to another beginning.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Thank you so much! This was a fun one.
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
Good job in less than 500 words, I got a real feeling of being lost in a never-ending video game. I also felt the main character was lost in something too, but I didn't know if it was the never-ending video game, an alternate virtual reality or insanity. I loved the "challenge accepted" concept too. I found a few minor things, missing period in the 13th paragraph and some other small things you will find if you accept the challenge. I enjoyed the read.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Good job in less than 500 words, I got a real feeling of being lost in a never-ending video game. I also felt the main character was lost in something too, but I didn't know if it was the never-ending video game, an alternate virtual reality or insanity. I loved the "challenge accepted" concept too. I found a few minor things, missing period in the 13th paragraph and some other small things you will find if you accept the challenge. I enjoyed the read.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
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Thanks! I found the person. Opsies!
