New Neighbor
Moving in...15 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Faith,
This has a witty twist at the end. You think it is just a person moving into the house across the street who has a lot of friends. But, no, it's a funeral procession. I would not want to live across from a cemetery. Does this woman believe in ghosts? Is that why she says she hopes this new entry is as quiet as the others?
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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Hi Faith,
This has a witty twist at the end. You think it is just a person moving into the house across the street who has a lot of friends. But, no, it's a funeral procession. I would not want to live across from a cemetery. Does this woman believe in ghosts? Is that why she says she hopes this new entry is as quiet as the others?
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 13-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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Hello, Joan, this story is actually based on some truth. When I look out my kitchen window, I see into the cemetery that borders our backyard. My husband and I joke about getting 'new neighbors' when the tent is set up for the graveside service. When we moved into our house, my grandfather joked that at least we'd have 'quiet neighbors.' I appreciate you taking the time to read and review especially since it's no longer promoted.
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I guess you do have quiet "neighbors".
You're welcome. Faith.
Joan
Comment from lyenochka
That was very clever! And all the cars were for the funeral procession but you kept that surprise until the very end! Perfect use of the hundred words to give us a completely new perspective of what the story is about!
Congratulations on your Second Place win!!
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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That was very clever! And all the cars were for the funeral procession but you kept that surprise until the very end! Perfect use of the hundred words to give us a completely new perspective of what the story is about!
Congratulations on your Second Place win!!
Comment Written 13-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much for the congratulations. I don't know so much about clever as it's based on some truth. My husband and I do look out our kitchen window to see the cemetery that borders our backyard. And we do often joke about getting 'new neighbors.' I appreciate you taking the time to read and review especially since it's no longer promoted.
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If it's based on reality, that's even better!! It still was cleverly told because you didn't let us know the broader context until the end.
Comment from A.Myers85
What an amazing twist! I love it. When I saw the U-Haul, I thought about my recent move, so that's what I thought was happening from the title and the beginning; Then, that last line...oh, very clever. Such a great way to build up a story and then change things for the reader. Thank you for sharing. :D
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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What an amazing twist! I love it. When I saw the U-Haul, I thought about my recent move, so that's what I thought was happening from the title and the beginning; Then, that last line...oh, very clever. Such a great way to build up a story and then change things for the reader. Thank you for sharing. :D
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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Wow! Thank you so much for your great review and the six stars! You made my day! I appreciate you taking the time to read and review especially since it's no longer promoted.
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You're welcome. I missed it when it was promoted as I joined the site last Saturday, so I'm still exploring and catching up on past submissions. :D
Comment from LJbutterfly
Haha! Congratulations on placing in the Flash Fiction contest. This is the way flash fiction is supposed to go. Write a descriptive story of a single incident. Include dialogue if possible, and finish with a twist that leaves the reader thinking. In this story, the twist was humorous. Well done.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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Haha! Congratulations on placing in the Flash Fiction contest. This is the way flash fiction is supposed to go. Write a descriptive story of a single incident. Include dialogue if possible, and finish with a twist that leaves the reader thinking. In this story, the twist was humorous. Well done.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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Thanks so much for your kind words and congratulations. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review especially since it's no longer promoted.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is a great piece of writing. It feels like it could happen to anyone, with comprehensible language and realistic dialogue. I would probably just add a comma after the word 'wife' in the first paragraph. Nice job! Congratulations on the second place win.
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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This is a great piece of writing. It feels like it could happen to anyone, with comprehensible language and realistic dialogue. I would probably just add a comma after the word 'wife' in the first paragraph. Nice job! Congratulations on the second place win.
Comment Written 12-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 13-Jan-2023
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Thank you so much for your kind words and congratulation. I appreciate you taking the time to read and review especially since it's no longer promoted.
Comment from Midi O'Rourke
Very good. Nice twist. 100 word stories aren't the easiest. Well written, I loved the the way you talked about all the cars passing for the "newcomer" . Take care
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
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Very good. Nice twist. 100 word stories aren't the easiest. Well written, I loved the the way you talked about all the cars passing for the "newcomer" . Take care
Comment Written 25-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2022
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Those super short flashes are difficult. I'm glad you liked the story. It was kind of you to take time and review it especially since it's no longer promoted. Thanks.
Comment from donette1914
lol very cute and entertaining
very creative and talented and believable and i enjoy this piece and the photo fits right in well done thank you for sharing it was a pleasure to read your work
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2022
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lol very cute and entertaining
very creative and talented and believable and i enjoy this piece and the photo fits right in well done thank you for sharing it was a pleasure to read your work
Comment Written 22-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad you liked it. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Very clever. Great concept. Nicely written.
Not real sure about the window. lol
Best wishes and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2022
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Very clever. Great concept. Nicely written.
Not real sure about the window. lol
Best wishes and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Comment from Thesis
Good entry. You set the story up well for a surprising twist at the end.
I think the noise level in the neighborhood will remain as it was. Thanks for the read.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Good entry. You set the story up well for a surprising twist at the end.
I think the noise level in the neighborhood will remain as it was. Thanks for the read.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Your comment about the noise level made me laugh. Thanks for your kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
Comment from royowen
I think I know why they'll be quiet, when lots of cars gather it's usually for the very last time for someone, dare I say it, a last farewell, then visiting times are long gone, beautifully written my friend, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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I think I know why they'll be quiet, when lots of cars gather it's usually for the very last time for someone, dare I say it, a last farewell, then visiting times are long gone, beautifully written my friend, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 20-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment.
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Most welcome
