The First Day of his Life
My son's 'welcome' into the world13 total reviews
Comment from joann r romei
You wrote a heart felt recount of the day your son was born, the little thing had so many complications, and the love felt for him was expressed from the writer to the reader.
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2022
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You wrote a heart felt recount of the day your son was born, the little thing had so many complications, and the love felt for him was expressed from the writer to the reader.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2022
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Hi Joann, thank you so much for your review and a million thanks more for your 6 stars!
It was a tough day that day, but I look back now and wonder what all the fuss was about, he turned out to be the joy of my life and, apart from the hernia, had none of the problems that dreaded pediatrician predicted!
Thank you again
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Charlotte,
Thanks so much for sharing this deeply personal story with us. I see that your son is 34 now. I worked with a young man in high school who had downs. I had so much fun working with him. Frankly, I didn't cut him any slack, if he messed up, I let him know. He was so funny though and I loved him and his family. He used to come by the house to visit, and once in a while we still speak on the phone, though he's moved far away. He chose to spend a few nights with my wife and I when his father had to go to the hospital. Fortunately, we lived in a small town where everyone knew him, and he was well received by all. Good luck in the contest gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2022
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Hello Charlotte,
Thanks so much for sharing this deeply personal story with us. I see that your son is 34 now. I worked with a young man in high school who had downs. I had so much fun working with him. Frankly, I didn't cut him any slack, if he messed up, I let him know. He was so funny though and I loved him and his family. He used to come by the house to visit, and once in a while we still speak on the phone, though he's moved far away. He chose to spend a few nights with my wife and I when his father had to go to the hospital. Fortunately, we lived in a small town where everyone knew him, and he was well received by all. Good luck in the contest gal.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 23-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2022
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Aww Tom, thank you so much for your lovely review. I?m so pleased you?ve had the experience of loving ?a Ben?. They are such wonderful people and yes, so funny (Ben certainly is) - their honesty is what really amuses me, when they say exactly what they think!
There are a small collection of ?Ben stories? I?ve posted, the one that might be more relevant to you because of his age at the time is ?Santa?s Most Staunch Believer?. If you have a spare moment, I?d love you to read it.
Thank again.
Charlotte
Comment from evilynne
Your story is heart wrenching and honest, well written. You share your feelings and make us weep, but we are glad to know that we are now in a new age of knowledge about various disabilities, including Down Syndrome. Both medicine and social awareness have come such a long way! Evi
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2022
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Your story is heart wrenching and honest, well written. You share your feelings and make us weep, but we are glad to know that we are now in a new age of knowledge about various disabilities, including Down Syndrome. Both medicine and social awareness have come such a long way! Evi
Comment Written 23-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2022
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Hi Evi, thank you so much for your wonderful review, your understanding of the situation AND for your 6 stars! Wow!
Yes, thank goodness much has changed and improved since those uneducated days. Though unfortunately not everywhere, Ben was 3 when we moved to France and it was like stepping back 50 years! And they?re still a long way from catching up.
Thank you again. Charlotte
Comment from April Smith
Thank you so much for sharing this deeply personal account of the day your son was born. Your writing of the story really painted a vivid picture of the excruciating moments. Sometimes it's so hard to go back in time and still capture the full essence of the moment, but you've done it brilliantly.
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2022
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Thank you so much for sharing this deeply personal account of the day your son was born. Your writing of the story really painted a vivid picture of the excruciating moments. Sometimes it's so hard to go back in time and still capture the full essence of the moment, but you've done it brilliantly.
Comment Written 23-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 23-Oct-2022
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Thank you for a lovely review. It is hard to go back and remember exactly how you were feeling, but that day, despite being a long time ago, is still as clear as if it were yesterday. I suppose just some things just stay with you.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I find it befuddling how life and death for a newborn is optional. It is a heart-wrenching decision, but A Someone had made the decision to release a soul from pre-mortality for a purpose unknown only to Him.
And yet, we make hard decision every day, though only to the smallest percent is it a life or death decision.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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I find it befuddling how life and death for a newborn is optional. It is a heart-wrenching decision, but A Someone had made the decision to release a soul from pre-mortality for a purpose unknown only to Him.
And yet, we make hard decision every day, though only to the smallest percent is it a life or death decision.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Once they're actually born, I don't believe it is optional (it would be regarded as murder surely?).
But what I find more terrifying are the prenatal tests offering a 'termination' to people who have little or no experience of the particular problems involved. How are they supposed to make a balanced and educated life or death decision when they haven't a clue of what either choice would entail? And they are given so little time to find out that I wonder how many even try, very few I would imagine.
Thankfully I was never given such a choice, merely that of leaving him in hospital to be raised by someone else - ha ha and you read my response to that one!
But I do know of others who were given the choice and then, when they chose to keep their unborn child, were virtually bulldozed by hospital staff (and sometimes family too!) into terminating.
I could discuss this for hours - ha ha but don't worry, I won't!
But I think one thing you should remember is that not everyone will have the same beliefs as you do and, perhaps for them, it is not a pre-ordained decision and the reasons or purposes are perhaps much less clear to them. Just a thought.
Thank you for your review, I thoroughly enjoyed replying. Oh and by the way, Ben didn't die and nor did he have any of the problems the pediatrician so devastatingly predicted, he is now 34 - and he is the light of my life. Which in itself enforces my argument that people are not always as well informed as they should be when faced with some of life's terrible decisions.
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Comment from Wendy G
I was so pleased to see your Authors Notes and to know that you viewed this precious child as a wonderful gift. I am sure he gave and received much love. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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I was so pleased to see your Authors Notes and to know that you viewed this precious child as a wonderful gift. I am sure he gave and received much love. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 21-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Thank you Wendy.
Yes, a lot of love is shared between us, he is the light of my life, and I am his rock. The woman in the hospital on that day is a very different person than I am now, but I felt it was important to be totally honest about my feelings at the time. Ha ha I now look back and wonder what all the fuss and tears were about - but hey I knew nothing about Downs at the time.
You can see a few examples of how he ?turned out? on my profile, as most of my stories are about him.
Thank you again for your review.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Wow. This is SO POWERFUL. I am without other words, for fear of saying something that could hurt you. But this I will say, and then I have a few suggestions for your consideration. May God bless and keep you all safe and comforted in His divine presence.
"The busyness from the gaggle of midwives became suddenly slowed and their..." verb tense confusion -- I suggest removing the word 'became'
"..they could think of nothing positive to say, who knows." this should be punctuated with a question mark
"..surely this isn't happening.." italicize to show it is your thought
If I still had a six left this week, I would slap one on this immediately!
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Wow. This is SO POWERFUL. I am without other words, for fear of saying something that could hurt you. But this I will say, and then I have a few suggestions for your consideration. May God bless and keep you all safe and comforted in His divine presence.
"The busyness from the gaggle of midwives became suddenly slowed and their..." verb tense confusion -- I suggest removing the word 'became'
"..they could think of nothing positive to say, who knows." this should be punctuated with a question mark
"..surely this isn't happening.." italicize to show it is your thought
If I still had a six left this week, I would slap one on this immediately!
Comment Written 20-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2022
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Dawn, thank you so much for your amazing review.
I?ve considered and acted upon your suggestions, now all corrected - thank you. I really do appreciate constructive criticism, how else do we learn?
You really don?t need to worry about saying anything that would hurt me, I?m not the same person as I was on that day, and my skin has become as thick as armor - over the years it?s had to! Lol
There are a few more ?Ben stories? on my profile, if you?re interested in how he turned out?
Thank you again.
Charlotte
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is a tremendous piece of writing again. I can feel you reeling, hit by one shock after another at a time when you're not able to cope with a single one. It also seems as though you had to cope with the same horror as i did upon the complicated birth of my first son - uncompassionate medical staff. You would hope they could have some training in dealing with difficult births and distraught young parents. I feel for you, on that day, even though you obviously have had a wonderful life with Ben since. Kate xx
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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This is a tremendous piece of writing again. I can feel you reeling, hit by one shock after another at a time when you're not able to cope with a single one. It also seems as though you had to cope with the same horror as i did upon the complicated birth of my first son - uncompassionate medical staff. You would hope they could have some training in dealing with difficult births and distraught young parents. I feel for you, on that day, even though you obviously have had a wonderful life with Ben since. Kate xx
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Thank you so much Kate - I?ve said the rest in my reply message. xx
Comment from lyenochka
Thank you so much for the honest recollection of that devastating news! And I loved your response to the doctor when he offered the option to give up your beautiful baby for adoption! It's clear that you are a devoted mother and to suggest that was awful.
I was given the option to have a test for Down's when I was expecting our youngest because I was close to 35. But we refused the silly test because we said she's a gift and we would keep the baby anyway so what's the point? Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Thank you so much for the honest recollection of that devastating news! And I loved your response to the doctor when he offered the option to give up your beautiful baby for adoption! It's clear that you are a devoted mother and to suggest that was awful.
I was given the option to have a test for Down's when I was expecting our youngest because I was close to 35. But we refused the silly test because we said she's a gift and we would keep the baby anyway so what's the point? Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
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Thank you so much Helen, for your lovely review, your kind words AND for refusing the Down?s test!
When Ben was just a baby, I had a visit from a couple who had had a positive test for Downs. After meeting 3 different families with DS kids of different ages, they embraced having their own child with Downs, but they then lost him - because of the amniocentesis! It was so heartbreaking.
Ha ha yes that doctor, that wasn?t the last of him, and I think I became the bane of his life! More on this story to come. Hugs.
Comment from humpwhistle
Having read your stories about Ben and the extraordinary love you share, this tugged at my heart. "But wait," I wanted to counsel. "But wait."
I knew you would, of course, but I still needed to urge you in the right direction. As if the power was mine.
I love the deep honesty you reveal. Nothing Pollyanna-ish about your turmoil. It's clear to me you never gave on second's thought to giving up on Ben. The turmoil rose from practical matters you had no idea how to navigate.
Charlotte, I made some notes as I read. Take them with a grain of salt.
I also want to mention the presentation. I don't know how you achived the 'striped' effect, but I'm guessing it wasn't your first choice.
Peace, Lee
And she placed my son on some surface somewhere to check him over.--'some surface somewhere' is vague--twice. Even if the surface was out of your line of sight, I'd give it a name. An instrument table? Even a 'bedside surface'. Something more specific.
and their chatter subdued to a whisper, inaudible.--whispers seems more appropriate to me.
More imperceptible exchanges.--indecipherable, perhaps?
"No I'm sorry,"--comma after No. Friggin' commas, eh?
It felt empty, I felt empty and the baby's cot beside the bed was empty.--Yikes! They left a baby cot in your room? Dolts.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Having read your stories about Ben and the extraordinary love you share, this tugged at my heart. "But wait," I wanted to counsel. "But wait."
I knew you would, of course, but I still needed to urge you in the right direction. As if the power was mine.
I love the deep honesty you reveal. Nothing Pollyanna-ish about your turmoil. It's clear to me you never gave on second's thought to giving up on Ben. The turmoil rose from practical matters you had no idea how to navigate.
Charlotte, I made some notes as I read. Take them with a grain of salt.
I also want to mention the presentation. I don't know how you achived the 'striped' effect, but I'm guessing it wasn't your first choice.
Peace, Lee
And she placed my son on some surface somewhere to check him over.--'some surface somewhere' is vague--twice. Even if the surface was out of your line of sight, I'd give it a name. An instrument table? Even a 'bedside surface'. Something more specific.
and their chatter subdued to a whisper, inaudible.--whispers seems more appropriate to me.
More imperceptible exchanges.--indecipherable, perhaps?
"No I'm sorry,"--comma after No. Friggin' commas, eh?
It felt empty, I felt empty and the baby's cot beside the bed was empty.--Yikes! They left a baby cot in your room? Dolts.
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
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Oh Lee thank you - for your kind words, your excellent editing, but most of all for wanting to urge that wreck of a Charlotte in the right direction! You?re so lovely.
Wow, if I?d wanted it to have stripes I wouldn?t have had a clue how to do them, shame this story wasn?t about a zebra!!
Trouble with that ?surface somewhere? is that I was so out of it through panting in the gas and air, plus total exhaustion, I haven?t a clue what they put him on, to me it was merely some surface somewhere. Oh tsk I suppose I?d better do some research and find out what surface it could have been.
Of course whispers - duh
Indecipherable of course! Imperceptible is to do with sight! Duh again.
Damn those commas!
Yep they did - for 4 days, until he came back from London to fill it.
Thanks again Lee, you really are an excellent reviewer and I always love reading what you have to say.
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You're sweet, Charlotte. Just to be clear, I understood the why behind the vagueness of 'some surface somewhere', so maybe just like, 'In my delirious mind, they teleported to some other planet where they . . .
You get what I mean.
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Ha ha ha yes I do get what you mean.
I've looked it up and 'newborn station' seems to be the term - maybe he should have stayed on it, then he could have gone to London by train instead of ambulance!!!
Oh dear, are my jokes getting worse?
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Dearborn Station, maybe.
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I'll look it up, thanks.