The Best Time of Ohmie's Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Best Time of Ohmie's Life pt 16"Dying of cancer, Ohmie learns his parents are spie
9 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Now he knows where Dortch is and maybe who he works for. He has his flashdrive and is on the move again. I'm glad the Ohmie gets to at least hear about the activity even if he can't join in.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2022
  |
Now he knows where Dortch is and maybe who he works for. He has his flashdrive and is on the move again. I'm glad the Ohmie gets to at least hear about the activity even if he can't join in.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2022
-
There are some definite drawbacks to writing in first person
Comment from Ric Myworld
There's so much put in this chapters that it's like putting the pieces of a puzzle together, making it hard sometimes for a simple mind like mine to keep up. LOL. Great writing. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
|
There's so much put in this chapters that it's like putting the pieces of a puzzle together, making it hard sometimes for a simple mind like mine to keep up. LOL. Great writing. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2022
-
Thank you. I'll take the thought! (six stars)
Comment from Michaela Moore
Suspence, action, blood, gore, revelation: all big hits in this chapter. But what makes reading even more fantastic is also being privy to Ohmie's thoughts. I love this character's thoughts. You have his character nailed down. Such Fun!
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
|
Suspence, action, blood, gore, revelation: all big hits in this chapter. But what makes reading even more fantastic is also being privy to Ohmie's thoughts. I love this character's thoughts. You have his character nailed down. Such Fun!
Comment Written 19-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2022
-
Thank you! It was fun writing it.
-
You are just the person I should ask. Is the fact that Ohmie shoots adults a deal breaker for YA publishers?
-
Have you read any YA books lately? But seriously, your book might be more in the middle school realm because of how calm it is, except for what you are saying. What I might do as you seek for a publisher of ya books is maybe have two versions of the chapters where Ohmie shoots. Just to show them the difference maybe? But to be honest, that is something I like the most about the book that Ohmie has to do this because of the reality of his life that he finds himself in. It is a conundrum to be sure. Upper high school YA no problem, but the books these kids are in to now days are much rougher and darker than your spy yarn.
-
Sad to hear. Thank you for the input.
Comment from Wendy G
What detail you know about the inner workings of spies and double crossings! Even the detail about leaving the card for someone to steal and use, throwing them off the track. Very well thought through an$ written, as always.
Wendy
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
|
What detail you know about the inner workings of spies and double crossings! Even the detail about leaving the card for someone to steal and use, throwing them off the track. Very well thought through an$ written, as always.
Wendy
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
-
Smiley face here.
Thank you very a very kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is an excellent summarization of where Ohmie Sr. has been and what he's been doing, as told by Ohmie Jr., Wayne. I found no issues with grammar or vernacular. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
|
This is an excellent summarization of where Ohmie Sr. has been and what he's been doing, as told by Ohmie Jr., Wayne. I found no issues with grammar or vernacular. Well done.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
-
Thank you!
I always appreciate your reviews.
-
You're most welcome, Wayne.
Comment from royowen
A rather exciting episode, with Ohmie's dad in full cry, a master spy, with all the tricks of the trade at his disposal, we described Wayne, I love the detail of this, I've travelled in some of those places. An excellent post my friend, loved it, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
|
A rather exciting episode, with Ohmie's dad in full cry, a master spy, with all the tricks of the trade at his disposal, we described Wayne, I love the detail of this, I've travelled in some of those places. An excellent post my friend, loved it, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for a fun review!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
As I read about Ohmie and his parents galavanting across Europe, I wonder if you have been to some or all of these places. You seem to know where they fall on the map, but perhaps you've just studied a map:-)
A good chapter, still focusing on Dad taking care of the spy business. At least he took care of Dortch - at least for now!
See you next week!!
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
|
As I read about Ohmie and his parents galavanting across Europe, I wonder if you have been to some or all of these places. You seem to know where they fall on the map, but perhaps you've just studied a map:-)
A good chapter, still focusing on Dad taking care of the spy business. At least he took care of Dortch - at least for now!
See you next week!!
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
-
Actually, I studied Google maps, which shows train times, and Google Earth a little bit.
Unfortunately, Dortch returns.
Thank you for the very nice review.
Comment from Susan Newell
Wayne,
Excellent chapter. I agree wholeheartedly with your note. I try not to intervene where Ohmie is telling, but instinct may cause me to do so. Follow your gut on Ohmie's grammar. Spelling is a different matter, since this is a transcription of his tale. Notes follow.
Sue
whether military, police, or SVR all three, -- military, police, SVR, or all three?
The debit card he left at a pay phone with the pin number etched on it, hoping that someone would steal it and use it, sending searchers on a chase. --Very nice!
Dad mentioned that Dortch was M.I.A. --MIA. ?
Dad sat down across from him, tapping him on the knee with his Glock. "Who you working for, Dortch?" --love this!
Dad offered a few possibilities, beginning with the most unlikely: the Israelis, the Taliban, the SVR?" --I'd punctuate as follows: most unlikely, "The Israelies
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
|
Wayne,
Excellent chapter. I agree wholeheartedly with your note. I try not to intervene where Ohmie is telling, but instinct may cause me to do so. Follow your gut on Ohmie's grammar. Spelling is a different matter, since this is a transcription of his tale. Notes follow.
Sue
whether military, police, or SVR all three, -- military, police, SVR, or all three?
The debit card he left at a pay phone with the pin number etched on it, hoping that someone would steal it and use it, sending searchers on a chase. --Very nice!
Dad mentioned that Dortch was M.I.A. --MIA. ?
Dad sat down across from him, tapping him on the knee with his Glock. "Who you working for, Dortch?" --love this!
Dad offered a few possibilities, beginning with the most unlikely: the Israelis, the Taliban, the SVR?" --I'd punctuate as follows: most unlikely, "The Israelies
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
-
Thank you for an excellent review.
Yes, generally speaking, spelling should be right (unless it's an Ohmiespeak word that he made up (govement, circumlocute))
Thanks again.
-
Welcome. I wasn't sure about govement, but I was suspicious. :-)
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Overall this was interesting and enjoyable. I love how you are sharing this story through this unique viewpoint. It's very creative. Maybe I'm missing something but he's very much the silent observer - is he not present during this? Outside of this an interesting story and well written.
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
|
Overall this was interesting and enjoyable. I love how you are sharing this story through this unique viewpoint. It's very creative. Maybe I'm missing something but he's very much the silent observer - is he not present during this? Outside of this an interesting story and well written.
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 17-Oct-2022
-
I felt that I had to establish the basis for the plot. Ohmie action resumes in the next chapter. Ohmie has already killed two and involved with a third. Not bad for stage four lymphoma. lol
Thank you for the very positive review.
