Seething dust
A poem49 total reviews
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Very nice image and presentation, Roy.
-A well written poem with effective imagery and rhyme.
-I like the lines are divided in two with a suggestion followed by
a specific circumstance.
-A good example is
"Don't tremble in the gathering dusk, as storm clouds shield the light."
-The nature imagery is always a good tool when showing impacts on us and the environment. A good example of that is the line about the eagle.
-A very good concluding verse, as well.
-I liked this poem very much. Thanks for sharing it.
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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-Very nice image and presentation, Roy.
-A well written poem with effective imagery and rhyme.
-I like the lines are divided in two with a suggestion followed by
a specific circumstance.
-A good example is
"Don't tremble in the gathering dusk, as storm clouds shield the light."
-The nature imagery is always a good tool when showing impacts on us and the environment. A good example of that is the line about the eagle.
-A very good concluding verse, as well.
-I liked this poem very much. Thanks for sharing it.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Pam, for these fine comments and a super review, blessings Roy
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You are very welcome, Roy, it is a very good poem.
Comment from Fleedleflump
I don't usually comment on images, but this one is gorgeous. It complements your piece perfectly, what I'm going to frame as an ide to self-belief. I love that your faith is never about being given an easy route. Rather, it's about being supported in forging your own path and overcoming the obstacles that present themselves.
Mike
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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I don't usually comment on images, but this one is gorgeous. It complements your piece perfectly, what I'm going to frame as an ide to self-belief. I love that your faith is never about being given an easy route. Rather, it's about being supported in forging your own path and overcoming the obstacles that present themselves.
Mike
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Yes Mike, I was 41 when I was confronted with the reality of God, my life changed drastically, after a dramatically from then on, struggle doesn?t stop, but there?s a hope that no earthly experience compares with. It works from the inside out. Thanks for the great review, blessings Roy
Comment from lyenochka
What an encouraging message! I liked that you showed us from our perspective "As trust will guide the pilgrim's steps, God levels hill and slope and though the thorns and snares hold sway death's shadow can't steal hope." And then you focus on the Lord's reassuring Voice:
"So bring your prayers, in faith cry out, don't faint when you draw near.
I'll never let you wander lost, nor dwell in pain or fear."
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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What an encouraging message! I liked that you showed us from our perspective "As trust will guide the pilgrim's steps, God levels hill and slope and though the thorns and snares hold sway death's shadow can't steal hope." And then you focus on the Lord's reassuring Voice:
"So bring your prayers, in faith cry out, don't faint when you draw near.
I'll never let you wander lost, nor dwell in pain or fear."
Comment Written 18-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Helen, for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Roy,
What a great poem. The words of encouragement are always welcome, and especially now as the world seems to be engulfed in darkness. To God the darkness is as the light of day though. It's human nature to look at trouble and worry, contrary to God's instructions. Thanks for this timely reminder. Well done.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Hello Roy,
What a great poem. The words of encouragement are always welcome, and especially now as the world seems to be engulfed in darkness. To God the darkness is as the light of day though. It's human nature to look at trouble and worry, contrary to God's instructions. Thanks for this timely reminder. Well done.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Tom,for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy
Comment from MissMerri
This is, in so many ways, a wonderful poem. I love the overall message and I love the melodic way you have told the story. The one thing that would make this over-the-top wonderful, would be to begin and end the poem as if it is God speaking to His children. The change between verses two and three is a little disconcerting. I actually loved the last two verses. Let me know what you think. MM
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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This is, in so many ways, a wonderful poem. I love the overall message and I love the melodic way you have told the story. The one thing that would make this over-the-top wonderful, would be to begin and end the poem as if it is God speaking to His children. The change between verses two and three is a little disconcerting. I actually loved the last two verses. Let me know what you think. MM
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Adonna, for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy
Comment from Sugarray77
Oh Roy, what a powerful poem. The assurances of God are 'yea and amen' . His people have no need to fear. Your verse is well crafted in an aabb rhyme scheme that end in great word pairings. I really enjoyed reading it.
Melissa
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Oh Roy, what a powerful poem. The assurances of God are 'yea and amen' . His people have no need to fear. Your verse is well crafted in an aabb rhyme scheme that end in great word pairings. I really enjoyed reading it.
Melissa
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Melissa, for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy
Comment from Write Right Writer
Roy...
Excellent work! From one fuddy-duddy poetry nerd to another, your iambic heptameter is flawless, as is your rhyme. Well done!
The last two stanzas remind me of the end of Job. I really liked the seamless and unexpected transition to first person--a word of personal encouragement from the Almighty himself. Outstanding!
To that point (and at risk of overstepping), the thought crossed my my mind that, with only a few minor tweaks, the entire poem could be the words of God (1st person) with no need for the implied 2nd person (author) voice or 3rd person (narrator) voice currently in Stanzas 1 and 2. The implied first person (voice of God) could still be veiled until the middle of Stanza 3, but the realization that God had been talking to us all along might turbocharge the impact of the revelation. Just a thought.
As you know, free advice is often worth what you pay for it. So take these thoughts, tweak them, or trash them as you see fit.
Strong, clear theme. Focused content. Steady flow. Comfortable pace. Flawless meter. Consistent rhythm. Perfect rhyme. Kudos to you!
Thanks for sharing and keep up the great work.
Blessings...
Curt (WRW)
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Roy...
Excellent work! From one fuddy-duddy poetry nerd to another, your iambic heptameter is flawless, as is your rhyme. Well done!
The last two stanzas remind me of the end of Job. I really liked the seamless and unexpected transition to first person--a word of personal encouragement from the Almighty himself. Outstanding!
To that point (and at risk of overstepping), the thought crossed my my mind that, with only a few minor tweaks, the entire poem could be the words of God (1st person) with no need for the implied 2nd person (author) voice or 3rd person (narrator) voice currently in Stanzas 1 and 2. The implied first person (voice of God) could still be veiled until the middle of Stanza 3, but the realization that God had been talking to us all along might turbocharge the impact of the revelation. Just a thought.
As you know, free advice is often worth what you pay for it. So take these thoughts, tweak them, or trash them as you see fit.
Strong, clear theme. Focused content. Steady flow. Comfortable pace. Flawless meter. Consistent rhythm. Perfect rhyme. Kudos to you!
Thanks for sharing and keep up the great work.
Blessings...
Curt (WRW)
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Curt, for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy
Comment from Teri7
Roy, I wish I had six stars to give you for this really great spiritual poem you have penned. You used great descriptive words and very lovely imagery. Great scripture from Isaiah 41:8-10. Thank you for sharing. Blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Roy, I wish I had six stars to give you for this really great spiritual poem you have penned. You used great descriptive words and very lovely imagery. Great scripture from Isaiah 41:8-10. Thank you for sharing. Blessings, Teri
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Teri, for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy
Comment from Ulla
Oh Roy, I loved this poem. Your imagination and your words know no bounds. What a wonderful imagination that you've got. It was a joy to read your beautiful poem. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Oh Roy, I loved this poem. Your imagination and your words know no bounds. What a wonderful imagination that you've got. It was a joy to read your beautiful poem. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Ulla, for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy
Comment from karenina
One of your best. It seems I've said that a lot, after reading you, Roy ~ but these fourteen-syllable quatrains are inspired as well as inspiring. I appreciated the interweaving of internal rhyme here and there, yet nothing seemed forced, nor a poetic device. You wrote from a sacred place and this brilliant poem is destined to soothe many a troubled soul, my friend.
Blessings to you!
Karenina
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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One of your best. It seems I've said that a lot, after reading you, Roy ~ but these fourteen-syllable quatrains are inspired as well as inspiring. I appreciated the interweaving of internal rhyme here and there, yet nothing seemed forced, nor a poetic device. You wrote from a sacred place and this brilliant poem is destined to soothe many a troubled soul, my friend.
Blessings to you!
Karenina
Comment Written 17-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 18-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Karen for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy
