The Aspen Grove Murders
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Aspen Grove Murders"A Tommy Thompson Mystery
34 total reviews
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Quite good. Riveting. Can your audio speaker talk with a texas accent? haha This was excellent. On to the next one............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Karen
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2023
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Quite good. Riveting. Can your audio speaker talk with a texas accent? haha This was excellent. On to the next one............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................Karen
Comment Written 09-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2023
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Thank you, Karen! I am so blessed, my friend. I just posted the epilogue today. Love and blessings,
Sal XOs
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I have a lot of reading ahead of me. When you have the time ask hubby to read "Alistar Adams" to you, can he do a hoity toity british accent? This is a first chapter of of a story i wtote a while back, that I am chopping into bite size portions. See what you think.
I will be going back to the murders. Bear in mind that a 2 cents a pop, the review will be quickly done, and repetitive.
Karen
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
You shot right out the gate with this first chapter sucking me right into the story to come. It might take me a while to catch up, but I wanted to start at the beginning. You have created very interesting characters, Betty Jo being one of them.
What I like about your crime mystery is the spiritual element which seems to be at the core; not just good versus evil, but bible-based, factual, spiritual warfare.
Can't wait to catch up!
Gale
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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You shot right out the gate with this first chapter sucking me right into the story to come. It might take me a while to catch up, but I wanted to start at the beginning. You have created very interesting characters, Betty Jo being one of them.
What I like about your crime mystery is the spiritual element which seems to be at the core; not just good versus evil, but bible-based, factual, spiritual warfare.
Can't wait to catch up!
Gale
Comment Written 05-Jun-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jun-2023
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Dear Gail, thank you so much for the beautiful review and kind, generous stars. I am floored. I?ve been so sick. I?ve hardly been able to write. Thank you so much for making my day and for blessing me so. I hope you enjoy the book for your summer reading. Sending my very best to you all. Sal XOs
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You are so very welcome. It was a great read :)
Comment from Elizabeth Henderson
Great read. Looking forward to reading the next chapters. Glad I found you on FanStory. I'd love for you to read the book I'm writing about the young girl that was trafficked. It's titled: From Triumph to Tragedy.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2023
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Great read. Looking forward to reading the next chapters. Glad I found you on FanStory. I'd love for you to read the book I'm writing about the young girl that was trafficked. It's titled: From Triumph to Tragedy.
Comment Written 30-May-2023
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2023
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Dear Elizabeth, thank you so much for this lovely review and kind compliments. The six star rating is especially appreciated. I am blessed. I am so behind in everything and have not been able to get over to your book. I promise that I will this summer. I am trying to finish up a book, and publishing two more of my other books. I also have three books that I just put audible which is kept me busy. As I am blind, it takes me more time to do things that other people but I get it done eventually. Thank you for your patience with me.
I?m so impressed with your your writing, and especially your heart for the preborn child.
Sending you my best today as always.
Sal XOs
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Hi Sal, I am amazed that you get so much done despite your blindness. Good for you! I have a book published that is about my daughter's brain aneurysm. The title is: Caught in the Land of Un (unreal, unbelievable, unbeatable, etc). It's under a pseudonym, Gwen Thorne, because it doesn't paint her ex husband in a very good light! I'm curious as to how you do audible books? There is so much I want to talk to you about! I wish we lived closer to each other in FL. Maybe someday we can meet. I'm going to read more of your posts when I get time.
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Thank you, Elizabeth. I'm on Amazon Books, Amazon Kindle, and Audible. My first three books are on Audible:
1)What The Blind Girl Saw
2)Double Blind
3)Murder at Sleepy Hill Lane
Books 4 & 5 are in softcover and Kindle.
4) Running Blind
5) Who Stole Ryan Little
Visit my author's page on: Amazon.com/author/sallylaw
Or Audible.com and search for Sally Law.
Blessings,
Sal XOs
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You're quite the prolific author! How do you get your books on Audible? Just curious.
Comment from Moonbeams Musings 55
I recently read and reviewed Chapter 11 and was so taken with the storyline and writing that I just had to go back to Chapter 1 and start from the beginning. I will probably run out of 6s. This is sooooo good.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023
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I recently read and reviewed Chapter 11 and was so taken with the storyline and writing that I just had to go back to Chapter 1 and start from the beginning. I will probably run out of 6s. This is sooooo good.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2023
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You are just the sweetest thing to catch up with me like this and to shower me with stars! I?m blown away, dear Moonbeam. Thank you so much. I?m just overwhelmed by your kindness and generosity.
I?m so delighted you?re enjoying my book too. ;))
Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from WalkerMan
This seventh book in your Blind Girl series opens without any reference to you, as it is narrated by former Baltimore police Lieutenant Tommy Thompson, father of the young teenaged girl murdered in the woods near the Aspen Grove fall festival where he had volunteered to serve hot apple cider while his daughter Phoebe visited the exhibits.
Captain Hank Riley of the Aspen Grove PD, being short-handed, asked Lt. Thompson whether he would want to participate in the necessary investigation, which the next day he does -- oath, badge, and all.
When Detective Willa Sams and Tommy go to Jo's Diner for a pancake breakfast, they realize that Jo Jenkins not only set up a jar for donations to a reward for useful information, she knew a lot about such murders and the coven of witches who had been involved in the past, including a failed attempt on her own life when she was near Phoebe's age. Willa quickly asked Jo to become a detective too, with Tommy as partner. Tommy then explains why he left the Baltimore PD -- the loss of his wife, Lilly, to a dangerous suspect not kept incarcerated after an earlier killing. Jo agrees, partly because she is attracted to Tommy.
Fortunately, Phoebe had fought fiercely against her attacker, enough to have his DNA under her fingernails, thereby avoiding molestation. After viewing her as long as he could without coming apart, he and Willa listen to Coroner Dr. Stuart's knowledge of such murders, then ask him to be a consultant on this case. He agrees.
It will be interesting to see how The Blind Girl gets involved in this case, which clearly is much larger than the latest murder.
Superb, and aptly illustrated.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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This seventh book in your Blind Girl series opens without any reference to you, as it is narrated by former Baltimore police Lieutenant Tommy Thompson, father of the young teenaged girl murdered in the woods near the Aspen Grove fall festival where he had volunteered to serve hot apple cider while his daughter Phoebe visited the exhibits.
Captain Hank Riley of the Aspen Grove PD, being short-handed, asked Lt. Thompson whether he would want to participate in the necessary investigation, which the next day he does -- oath, badge, and all.
When Detective Willa Sams and Tommy go to Jo's Diner for a pancake breakfast, they realize that Jo Jenkins not only set up a jar for donations to a reward for useful information, she knew a lot about such murders and the coven of witches who had been involved in the past, including a failed attempt on her own life when she was near Phoebe's age. Willa quickly asked Jo to become a detective too, with Tommy as partner. Tommy then explains why he left the Baltimore PD -- the loss of his wife, Lilly, to a dangerous suspect not kept incarcerated after an earlier killing. Jo agrees, partly because she is attracted to Tommy.
Fortunately, Phoebe had fought fiercely against her attacker, enough to have his DNA under her fingernails, thereby avoiding molestation. After viewing her as long as he could without coming apart, he and Willa listen to Coroner Dr. Stuart's knowledge of such murders, then ask him to be a consultant on this case. He agrees.
It will be interesting to see how The Blind Girl gets involved in this case, which clearly is much larger than the latest murder.
Superb, and aptly illustrated.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
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Wow, thank you so much for stopping by and giving of yourself. I?m so very blessed, Mike. I cannot tell you how much this means to me. Thank you, thank you! I?m glad you enjoyed my new crime fiction with a spiritual twist. Yes, The Blind Girl is coming by for a visit. How?d you know? Dang, I can?t sneak anything by you. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
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You are most welcome, Sal. I have liked every story you wrote, and this one too. However, The Blind Girl must be in this story somewhere for it to be part of the Blind Girl series. I have some ideas about that, but will wait to see what you write.
Meanwhile, my review of Chapter Two will be posted today, so I can continue catching up before I get busy on an upcoming editing and publishing project. :)) -- Mike
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Your beginning setting and introduction to a mysterious character will have the reader right there on tip-toes. Another draw: "my first cup of the Donut Shop Blend" You are good at descriptive settings. I wonder if she was a witch or a valued female? "It's this old man's opinion that Phoebe had been chosen for human sacrifice" Good way to bring the readers back: "at seemed to form odd shapes around our municipality."
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
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Your beginning setting and introduction to a mysterious character will have the reader right there on tip-toes. Another draw: "my first cup of the Donut Shop Blend" You are good at descriptive settings. I wonder if she was a witch or a valued female? "It's this old man's opinion that Phoebe had been chosen for human sacrifice" Good way to bring the readers back: "at seemed to form odd shapes around our municipality."
Comment Written 26-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the excellent review and insightful comments. I'm glad you're catching up with my new book. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Sally,
"There was a young man dressed like he was from the 1500s, with long hair, and a linen robe tied with a rope. He came to my booth for apple cider, twice, and spoke in thees and thous." ... (if I was Tommy Thompson, this would surely jump out as being very strange. But I wouldn't have connected it with my daughter.)
I think one of the first things Tommy should do is have a chat with this robed stranger. If he isn't one of the witches' coven, perhaps he is hunting them on a different matter.
This is a terrific first chapter, Sally. It reminds me of Bob Hartson (Mastery) detective stories a bit... especially when you write "9mm Glock" and "Diner for a pancake breakfast". I was a big fan of Mastery, and I've got three of his novels to prove it.
A coven of witches? And human sacrifice? Wow! I've often had a vision of coming upon a coven of real-life witches in a wooded clearing. It's a scary thought. I imagine this type of thing does happen, but you never hear about it. This would be an extreme crime, involving many people. There may be culprits living right in the town of Aspen Grove, perhaps a next-door neighbor of Captain Riley himself!
"It's a dreich day!" ... (never heard of "dreich" before. It's from the slang dictionaries of Scotland, I see. Nice choice of words for "dreary", seeing that the coroner is Scottish!)
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"Willa magically produced another (Thermos) of hot coffee as the temperature began to plummet." ... (does "thermos" need to be capitalized?)
"It was all that I could do (not to) slug myself." ... (this might be the right way to say it, but I would choose,
It was all that I could do to forgo slugging myself.)
"I soaked your jacket with tears, so I think we've graduated to first names." ... (I would suggest present perfect tense here.
I've soaked your jacket with tears, so I think we've graduated to first names.)
"An unobstructed full moon rose above the tree line and shone directly overhead, casting a luminous light in every direction." ... ( you have the full moon low in the sky, just "above the tree line", but also "directly overhead". It wouldn't rise that quickly in the sky. I suggest,
An unobstructed full moon rose above the tree line, stretching long dark shadows into the night.)
"His wild, grey hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and his blue eyes had (a) unexpected sparkle." ...(an)
"This was odd to me--considering his unique profession." ... (I suggest,
This seemed odd to me--considering his unique profession.)
How did I miss this first chapter, Sally? I've been off the site for a while lately. A buddy of mine (from Moosehead), Sammy Doyle, had a heart attack the Tuesday before Halloween. He's still in hospital. They did a quadruple bypass, repaired a couple of heart valves, and added a pacemaker. He might get home today, finally. He's tired of hospital food. That stuff can kill you!
I'm going to proceed to chapter 2 before going for a 2.3 mile walk on the Grand Bay Trail. I'm up to 166 miles, and my hip has returned to near normal... "Hooray!"
Excellent writing! This is the type of story that you can sink your teeth into. Although, I must say, poor old Tommy has now lost both wife and daughter to tragedy. I can understand that he'd want to pour himself into the case.
Hugs,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2022
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Hi Sally,
"There was a young man dressed like he was from the 1500s, with long hair, and a linen robe tied with a rope. He came to my booth for apple cider, twice, and spoke in thees and thous." ... (if I was Tommy Thompson, this would surely jump out as being very strange. But I wouldn't have connected it with my daughter.)
I think one of the first things Tommy should do is have a chat with this robed stranger. If he isn't one of the witches' coven, perhaps he is hunting them on a different matter.
This is a terrific first chapter, Sally. It reminds me of Bob Hartson (Mastery) detective stories a bit... especially when you write "9mm Glock" and "Diner for a pancake breakfast". I was a big fan of Mastery, and I've got three of his novels to prove it.
A coven of witches? And human sacrifice? Wow! I've often had a vision of coming upon a coven of real-life witches in a wooded clearing. It's a scary thought. I imagine this type of thing does happen, but you never hear about it. This would be an extreme crime, involving many people. There may be culprits living right in the town of Aspen Grove, perhaps a next-door neighbor of Captain Riley himself!
"It's a dreich day!" ... (never heard of "dreich" before. It's from the slang dictionaries of Scotland, I see. Nice choice of words for "dreary", seeing that the coroner is Scottish!)
**********************************************************************
"Willa magically produced another (Thermos) of hot coffee as the temperature began to plummet." ... (does "thermos" need to be capitalized?)
"It was all that I could do (not to) slug myself." ... (this might be the right way to say it, but I would choose,
It was all that I could do to forgo slugging myself.)
"I soaked your jacket with tears, so I think we've graduated to first names." ... (I would suggest present perfect tense here.
I've soaked your jacket with tears, so I think we've graduated to first names.)
"An unobstructed full moon rose above the tree line and shone directly overhead, casting a luminous light in every direction." ... ( you have the full moon low in the sky, just "above the tree line", but also "directly overhead". It wouldn't rise that quickly in the sky. I suggest,
An unobstructed full moon rose above the tree line, stretching long dark shadows into the night.)
"His wild, grey hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and his blue eyes had (a) unexpected sparkle." ...(an)
"This was odd to me--considering his unique profession." ... (I suggest,
This seemed odd to me--considering his unique profession.)
How did I miss this first chapter, Sally? I've been off the site for a while lately. A buddy of mine (from Moosehead), Sammy Doyle, had a heart attack the Tuesday before Halloween. He's still in hospital. They did a quadruple bypass, repaired a couple of heart valves, and added a pacemaker. He might get home today, finally. He's tired of hospital food. That stuff can kill you!
I'm going to proceed to chapter 2 before going for a 2.3 mile walk on the Grand Bay Trail. I'm up to 166 miles, and my hip has returned to near normal... "Hooray!"
Excellent writing! This is the type of story that you can sink your teeth into. Although, I must say, poor old Tommy has now lost both wife and daughter to tragedy. I can understand that he'd want to pour himself into the case.
Hugs,
Kimbob
Comment Written 18-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2022
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Aw, thank you, Kim. How wonderful. It was originally in the Murder We Wrote contest and I withdrew it. It was the only one that wasn?t a short story. I put it into a book after talking with Tom about it thinking this was better for me. I?m glad you enjoyed it and my new characters. Tommy Thompson was my grandad?s name. Thank you again dear and for the comments and stars. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was a different start for you, Sal! I like these stories, especially where the Devil loses. In Tommy's shoes I can understand why he'd want to be involved in finding his daughter's murderer, and thank goodness she fought to her death, rather that being a sacrifice! It makes my blood turn cold. Excellent start, Sal. Well done. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2022
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That was a different start for you, Sal! I like these stories, especially where the Devil loses. In Tommy's shoes I can understand why he'd want to be involved in finding his daughter's murderer, and thank goodness she fought to her death, rather that being a sacrifice! It makes my blood turn cold. Excellent start, Sal. Well done. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 17-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the lovely review, Sandra dear. I?m so very blessed. I?m glad you enjoyed my book and spiritual characters. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Sally, great beginning for another mystery novel. I like your characterizations, and how you make your characters real.
Nice work, Sally. Great descriptions too.
Hugs from your friend,
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Sally, great beginning for another mystery novel. I like your characterizations, and how you make your characters real.
Nice work, Sally. Great descriptions too.
Hugs from your friend,
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 15-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Thank you so much for the wonderful review and generous encouragement. I?m glad you enjoyed my newest book chapter. Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
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You?re welcome, Sally.
Comment from Begin Again
Sorry I missed this chapter with my return to FS, but I wanted to start at the beginning to get the entire picture. It's so interesting to see how other times and other places handled things so differently... like just instantly adding people to their force or reinstating. the basis of the crime sends chills through me and a lot of sadness at the same time. I believe you have quite a ride set out for the reader. On to chapter 2!!
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Sorry I missed this chapter with my return to FS, but I wanted to start at the beginning to get the entire picture. It's so interesting to see how other times and other places handled things so differently... like just instantly adding people to their force or reinstating. the basis of the crime sends chills through me and a lot of sadness at the same time. I believe you have quite a ride set out for the reader. On to chapter 2!!
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 15-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2022
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Thank you for the lovely review and for catching up with me! It means so much! Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
