Hide me in your shadow
A poem35 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Hide Me in Your Shadow, is a terrific poem that speaks to God of devotion and gratitude to and for God. I only note one thing different; the first stanza speaks of God and the rest to God.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2022
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This poem, Hide Me in Your Shadow, is a terrific poem that speaks to God of devotion and gratitude to and for God. I only note one thing different; the first stanza speaks of God and the rest to God.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Bill, for these terrific comments and a great review, blessings Roy
Comment from Eternal Muse
An excellent spiritual poem of faith, trust and humility. Penitence is always godly and sacred, within His light.
Great meter, rhyme, cadence, imagery, visuals and presentation. Thank you for your scriptural references.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2022
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An excellent spiritual poem of faith, trust and humility. Penitence is always godly and sacred, within His light.
Great meter, rhyme, cadence, imagery, visuals and presentation. Thank you for your scriptural references.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2022
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Thanks , for these terrific comments and a super review, blessings Roy
Comment from Fleedleflump
I love the back and forth structure you've used, questioning and positing in equal measure.
I hope you don't mind, but I have some suggestions around tense. Just thoughts, of course:
'If I would stand within your light,
and I obscured the Lord from sight' - 'would stand' should really be 'stood' but that obviously kills the meter. I'd move it all onto present:
'If I should stand within your light,
and so obscure the Lord from sight,'
'and for your treasures I would lust' - 'and for your treasures show my lust'
'Now if to me you'd turn your back' - 'Now if to me you turned your back'
'Considered me a rubbish sack,
you wished me tortured on the rack' - 'Would you think me a rubbish sack,
and wish me tortured on the rack'
Mike
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2022
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I love the back and forth structure you've used, questioning and positing in equal measure.
I hope you don't mind, but I have some suggestions around tense. Just thoughts, of course:
'If I would stand within your light,
and I obscured the Lord from sight' - 'would stand' should really be 'stood' but that obviously kills the meter. I'd move it all onto present:
'If I should stand within your light,
and so obscure the Lord from sight,'
'and for your treasures I would lust' - 'and for your treasures show my lust'
'Now if to me you'd turn your back' - 'Now if to me you turned your back'
'Considered me a rubbish sack,
you wished me tortured on the rack' - 'Would you think me a rubbish sack,
and wish me tortured on the rack'
Mike
Comment Written 12-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2022
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Thanks Mike, for these masterful comments and a kind review, blessings Roy
Comment from Janet Foor
Hi Roy
I am thankful and full of gratitude everyday that God doesn't give me what I deserve but continues to show me His mercy and abiding love. Thank you for sharing this beautiful message.
Blessings my friend.
Janet
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Hi Roy
I am thankful and full of gratitude everyday that God doesn't give me what I deserve but continues to show me His mercy and abiding love. Thank you for sharing this beautiful message.
Blessings my friend.
Janet
Comment Written 11-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Janet, for these terrific comments and a great review, blessings Roy
Comment from country ranch writer
Hiding in the wings hoping for for forgiveness from all the cries you've caused and all the grief. You want him to have pity in your soul. But guess what ? It's not going to happen.keeping you in the shadows to learn the error of your ways and then and only them maybe you will be forgiven.
10/11/2022-----12:55 pm
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Hiding in the wings hoping for for forgiveness from all the cries you've caused and all the grief. You want him to have pity in your soul. But guess what ? It's not going to happen.keeping you in the shadows to learn the error of your ways and then and only them maybe you will be forgiven.
10/11/2022-----12:55 pm
Comment Written 11-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Thanks Barbara, for these wonderful comments and review, blessings Roy
Comment from jake cosmos aller
interesting poem you start by writing about a real person whom you love and then turn it into a poem about finding Christ's love in the end thatset you free.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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interesting poem you start by writing about a real person whom you love and then turn it into a poem about finding Christ's love in the end thatset you free.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Thanks so much Jake, for these terrific comments and a great review, blessings Roy
Comment from karenina
Beautiful poem Roy...
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Of course, Helen wrote a lovely poem in your honor...
I pray you have a safe, healthy and happy hear to come.
And many more!
Karenina
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Beautiful poem Roy...
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!
Of course, Helen wrote a lovely poem in your honor...
I pray you have a safe, healthy and happy hear to come.
And many more!
Karenina
Comment Written 11-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Thanks Karen for these wonderful comments and great review, blessings Roy
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Blessings to you, and Happy Birthday again!
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Thank you Karen
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A truly wonderful poem of your deep faith. It truly is inspiring, especially the sinner's refrain. They are words one can carry and think about often.
Blessings
Mary
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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A truly wonderful poem of your deep faith. It truly is inspiring, especially the sinner's refrain. They are words one can carry and think about often.
Blessings
Mary
Comment Written 10-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2022
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Thanks Mary, for these wonderful comments and great review, blessings Roy
Comment from GWHARGIS
I catch myself sliding now and then. I'm not a vocal Christian. I don't really outwardly show my faith. But if you ask me about it I would say my faith keeps me steady, it forges a path through rough terrain. It is never lost but there are times when it's dim. I ground myself. Quiet walks where God whispers in my ear. I'm right here beside you. This poem spoke to me the same way. Gretchen
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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I catch myself sliding now and then. I'm not a vocal Christian. I don't really outwardly show my faith. But if you ask me about it I would say my faith keeps me steady, it forges a path through rough terrain. It is never lost but there are times when it's dim. I ground myself. Quiet walks where God whispers in my ear. I'm right here beside you. This poem spoke to me the same way. Gretchen
Comment Written 10-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Yep, that sounds like God. His love is greater than anything, thanks for the delightful comments, review and stars Gretchen, blessings Roy
Comment from T B Botts
Hello Roy,
Great poem. Isn't it amazing that God has not given us what we deserve, but has instead made a way for us to be reconciled. You'll never get so great of a gift here on this earth. Thanks for sharing.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Hello Roy,
Great poem. Isn't it amazing that God has not given us what we deserve, but has instead made a way for us to be reconciled. You'll never get so great of a gift here on this earth. Thanks for sharing.
Have a blessed day.
Tom
Comment Written 10-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2022
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Thanks Tom for these excellent comments and review, blessings Roy stirring
