Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello, Jake,

I am happy you didn't die. Good start for your haibun. I would go through it and eliminate the things you don't need to express in your prose part. I would also get rid of words that repeat. In the event challenge, I asked for two sentences. Your word count is okay but you want to delete anything that repeats.

Well done.

 Comment Written 11-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 12-Oct-2022

thanks for the good critique

Comment from Mary Vigasin

Excellent

Well, I was always fascinated by your worldly travels, Jake, Now, not so much that you told us of the health scares each country brought you.
You appear then to be a fighter overcoming each event.
Best wishes,
Mary

 Comment Written 09-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022

when I joined the FS back in 1991 we were told that it was a very dangerous profession, that 20 percent of us would die before the end of our career, 20 percent would make into the senior foreign service, 10 percent would quit prior to retirement, and 50 would retire after 25 to 30 years of service. the leading cause of death traffic and other accidents, followed by strange diseases, terrorism was a concern then but it has gotten a lot worst since I joined. Of my classmates six or seven died in service not sure exactly how as I have lost touch with people over the years. but some surely died of strange diseases.

Comment from Cass Carlton

Excellent

Well now, I'm going to challenge this statement
Perhaps your place in Heaven hadn't been ready for you. Perhaps the angels who watched over you decided on another extra shift of very"special " care to keep "Asphodel" from scooping you up in his outspread wings and bearing you away. Perhaps Our Lord didn't want you sitting on a pink cloud, kerplunking on your golden lyre. I've no doubt you've had a harrowing life and you must feel at times as though you've "dodged a bullet" again. But, please be aware of the beauties of Life.The successes, the triumphs
that set some days apart as truly memorable.
If I offend, please forgive me. It was not my intention. cheers Cass

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022

thanks. I appreciate your comments, although I am not a Christian, and was not offended in the least.

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

Wow Jake you have obviously fitted a lot into your life with all the different countries mentioned and are either very fortunate to have survived or unlucky. Hope good health(as good as you can be) is your constant in the future.
Valda

 Comment Written 07-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022

yeah I have been around the block a number of times and seen a lot.