Comment from Fleedleflump

Excellent

I think, once damage is done, it lingers even if the cause gets fixed. This is a sad truth of trauma - we can't undo it, only deal with it. You do a good job of emulating Gypsy's style in this.

Mike

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2022

Thanks, Mike, for the review. You have been quiet. Hope all is well with you.

Comment from Charles W. Johnson

Excellent

I'm learning that there is a difference between a 5-7-5 and a haiku. Despite its urban setting, I feel like this one might qualify as a haiku. Excellent job. You've managed to tell a short story and invoke a mood of despair in your 17 syllables. That's an accomplishment.

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2022

Thank you, Charles, for your review. Haiku poems typically have a nature themed text from beginning to end. This is really a mixture. lol Starts with nature and ends with free verse. Don't be a stranger come again. Thanks!

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

Perfect dedication to Gypsy Blue Rose. It's her genre, it's well written with an excellent third line, it is meaningful, and it has reflections of her life. Well done. Best wishes.
Wendy

 Comment Written 06-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 06-Oct-2022

Thank you for your review. I admire her skills. This is a good attempt at mimicking a master of Asian poetry styles.

Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Excellent

The image is really glittery; rain falling in a huge city brings busyness. But the words are referring that there is sadness even after the rain stops falling. Gloomy days ahead.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022

Thanks for the review. Living in any major city can be difficult.

Comment from Thomas Blanks

Excellent

Close. But not quite. LOL I don't know how she does it... but her lyrics glow and change shade...it's amazing. I respect you noble attempt to copy a master.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022

Exactly, she is a master of Asian poetry types. I would venture to say on this site the best. The poem really is a mixture of Ms. Gypsy and me. Her topics are typically more like the first two lines and the aesthetics. The last line I bled through. lol I am a fan of hers and love her writing. Thanks, for the honest review.

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

Only you know what's best but as I read it numerous times, I continuously change the blues to but blue as it felt better for me. Doesn't make it better only more comfortable as Joh Wayne said in True Grit.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022

Tom, thanks for your review, but my intent was the "blues" as an emotion. A state of being down or depressed by one's life. Truth be told it's a blend of Ms. Gypsy's style and mine. I find her to be a cool person.

reply by Tom Horonzy on 05-Oct-2022

i understand

reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022

Thanks, Tom!

Comment from prettybluebirds

Excellent

I have always been a country girl, and cities don't appeal to me at all. I can't imagine living so close to so many people. Your poem is lovely and the artwork is perfect. Best of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 05-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022

Thanks for the review. I have lived in both and would prefer somewhere in between.

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Rain washes away
inner city griminess~
the blues still remains

I like this, because there is a lot of truth in it. There are some things eve nature can't fix or wash away. Sad but true.

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 Comment Written 05-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022

Thank you for the review. Absolutely, but what is true is that life is that way in the country also. The houses are farther apart, and shit happens, and the neighbors never hear it therefore the chances it will be reported is slim. I had to remove the s on remains because "the blues" as in this poem is always a plural.

Comment from jessizero

Excellent

I think it should be "the blues still remain" instead of "the blues still remains" but I could be wrong.
Thank you so much for sharing. Best wishes to you and Gypsy.

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 Comment Written 05-Oct-2022

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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022

Thank you for the review and catching that error. You are correct because the word blues is plural. Thanks again.