The Best Time of Ohmie's Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Best Time of Ohmie's Life pt 13"Dying of cancer, Ohmie learns his parents are spie
9 total reviews
Comment from Michaela Moore
Intrigue! Lots of luscious intrigue building! I love it! Hopefully, the next chapter is coming soon. I have been off FanStory for a bit because work became too much. But it should start to even out again for a bit. I am so glad when I came back on I had 2 chapters to read of this fun book! It made my day!
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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Intrigue! Lots of luscious intrigue building! I love it! Hopefully, the next chapter is coming soon. I have been off FanStory for a bit because work became too much. But it should start to even out again for a bit. I am so glad when I came back on I had 2 chapters to read of this fun book! It made my day!
Comment Written 08-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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Thank you. Ch 14 today.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Poor Ohmie is really in a bad spot, smart enough to figure things out that he's better off not knowing. You've done a good job creating all the emotion that goes with this, Wayne. I'm tempted to read ahead!
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022
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Poor Ohmie is really in a bad spot, smart enough to figure things out that he's better off not knowing. You've done a good job creating all the emotion that goes with this, Wayne. I'm tempted to read ahead!
Comment Written 08-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022
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Thank you.
Ohmie's having the time of his life.
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You're welcome, Wayne. Yes, I guess he certainly is! lol
Comment from Dawn Munro
"You need his satellite phone," I said to two sets of staring eyes. = I love this! The whole paragraph, in fact...
I also enjoyed how this chapter ended. It leads well into the next.
I'm not crazy about dropping in on a book, even when given a brief summation of what's gone on before, but this time I'm glad I did. Your book seems flawlessly written, and riveting. If only I had more time to spend on FanStory...
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022
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"You need his satellite phone," I said to two sets of staring eyes. = I love this! The whole paragraph, in fact...
I also enjoyed how this chapter ended. It leads well into the next.
I'm not crazy about dropping in on a book, even when given a brief summation of what's gone on before, but this time I'm glad I did. Your book seems flawlessly written, and riveting. If only I had more time to spend on FanStory...
Comment Written 08-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2022
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Thank you.
And thank you immensely for the six stars.
(I wouldn't mind emailing you the entire story.)
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You're very welcome. :)
Comment from Ric Myworld
Being a spy would be hard enough, but being a teenage spy . . . wow, and trying to keep parents happy too. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2022
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Being a spy would be hard enough, but being a teenage spy . . . wow, and trying to keep parents happy too. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 07-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2022
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Thank you.
I wanna see the movie!
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Me too!
Comment from lyenochka
So the Company is going to kill Ohmie? How old is he at this point?
Enjoyed how you told the story mostly through dialogue with the humor about the nodding and the surprise of Ohmie's parents about how much he knew about the technical details of how things work.
It's tricky to determine who's speaking when there are three conversing. There were places where I didn't know who was talking as in ""And I need to be able to move around..." Was this the dad?
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2022
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So the Company is going to kill Ohmie? How old is he at this point?
Enjoyed how you told the story mostly through dialogue with the humor about the nodding and the surprise of Ohmie's parents about how much he knew about the technical details of how things work.
It's tricky to determine who's speaking when there are three conversing. There were places where I didn't know who was talking as in ""And I need to be able to move around..." Was this the dad?
Comment Written 06-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2022
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Yes, Dad.
Thank you for the review.
And yes, dialogue is more fun.
Comment from royowen
None of us think like a spy, but I can never figure what's going on in the spy's mind, so it's so full of possibilities when one is writing, I loved the Bourne trilogy with Matt Damon, I loved the films, but could never figure out what was going on, I love the way you write this Wayne, but I have to go along for the ride, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022
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None of us think like a spy, but I can never figure what's going on in the spy's mind, so it's so full of possibilities when one is writing, I loved the Bourne trilogy with Matt Damon, I loved the films, but could never figure out what was going on, I love the way you write this Wayne, but I have to go along for the ride, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 05-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
As you get closer to what I assume is the end of Ohmie's spy story, your writing appears to be flowing better and is well-paced. It's like you're in the groove with it:-)
Just a couple of notes as I was reading.
Chateau in Lucerne paragraph: spent "the" whole day instead of spent "to" whole day
Four paragraphs from bottom: Everyone, and I mean everyone falls under . . . I'd add a comma after the second everyone.
Same paragraph: you have Mom saying "who knows" twice in the same sentence - you can easily delete one.
Nice work, Wayne.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022
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As you get closer to what I assume is the end of Ohmie's spy story, your writing appears to be flowing better and is well-paced. It's like you're in the groove with it:-)
Just a couple of notes as I was reading.
Chateau in Lucerne paragraph: spent "the" whole day instead of spent "to" whole day
Four paragraphs from bottom: Everyone, and I mean everyone falls under . . . I'd add a comma after the second everyone.
Same paragraph: you have Mom saying "who knows" twice in the same sentence - you can easily delete one.
Nice work, Wayne.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022
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Thank you for the great review.
But there's 25 more chapters.
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LOL, then I have 25 times the amount of spy-Ohmie to look forward to!
Comment from Wendy G
Ohmie is very smart! How long can he continue for, poor kid. All this travelling, danger, suspense ... but his parents seem to have drawn closer together these last couple of stories. Looking forward to the next chapter. I'm quite immersed in his well- being now!
Wendy
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022
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Ohmie is very smart! How long can he continue for, poor kid. All this travelling, danger, suspense ... but his parents seem to have drawn closer together these last couple of stories. Looking forward to the next chapter. I'm quite immersed in his well- being now!
Wendy
Comment Written 05-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2022
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Thanks for the review.
Yes, he's having the time of his life.
Comment from Susan Newell
Wayne,
The plot thickens, and off we go to another country. Ohmie's parents are beginning to treat him like a person, not a sick boy. I'm not sure I've followed the whole plot through all the twists and turns, but I do know someone is out to het Dad, either through a set-up or something even more dastardly. Good chapter.
Sue
"He might surveille you," Dad ==> surveil
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Wayne,
The plot thickens, and off we go to another country. Ohmie's parents are beginning to treat him like a person, not a sick boy. I'm not sure I've followed the whole plot through all the twists and turns, but I do know someone is out to het Dad, either through a set-up or something even more dastardly. Good chapter.
Sue
"He might surveille you," Dad ==> surveil
Comment Written 04-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Thank you. And thank you for the catch.
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Always welcome, Wayne. I have a soft spot for all the Ohmies.
