The Tor
Viewing comments for Chapter 50 "Visions of People"Adventures around & upon a hill
11 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
Again, your cleverly dangling the conclusion before us, Liz, insuring we come back for more. lol This is well written with great dialogue. I look forward to the next chapter.
One little spag: how they feel about theses(these) different colors.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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Again, your cleverly dangling the conclusion before us, Liz, insuring we come back for more. lol This is well written with great dialogue. I look forward to the next chapter.
One little spag: how they feel about theses(these) different colors.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your loyal appreciative review. It's good to know how it affect people.
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You?re most welcome, Liz.
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***Smile***
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I'm afraid I am very confused by this section. I wish I could be more encouraging, but I'm not quite certain what is happening. It seems as if people are walking on air instead of climbing the tower on the steps.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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I'm afraid I am very confused by this section. I wish I could be more encouraging, but I'm not quite certain what is happening. It seems as if people are walking on air instead of climbing the tower on the steps.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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They are walking up high on the hill on the labyrinth but not coming down any path. I appreciate you efforts to get the picture of what is being described. The hill is 400 feet high so these walkers may have been 300 feet up.
Comment from Jay Squires
Except for the problems with agreement, your chapter reads quite well. I like the idea of the railless steps ascending the mountain. It has a spiritual feel to it. Here are the pieces of spag that I undcovered:
"I noted everyone moving their body in different manners," [Everyone moving their BODIES (they don't share one -- well, except in a spiritual way, I suppose)]
for the semblance of a walking stick. [Again, if it's more than one, it would be, "for the semblance of WALKING STICKS".]
With after thought, [With AFTERTHOUGHTS..,]
"everyone searched out and found a decent, strong walking stick. [This is growing into a problem with agreement. They all found them. Therefore: "everyone searched out and found decent, strong, walking STICKS." Or, "EACH one searched out and found A decent, strong, walking STICK."]
they grasped their walking stick ["STICKS"]
Just as our balloon of hope was shriveling [Then along comes this beauty! LOVE IT!]
As we continued to trudge, foresightful, Cyndy, began a discussion as a distraction from our feelings of futility. [I don't know why you set Cyndy apart with commas. They shouldn't be there. It just makes the sentence confusing.]
where there aren't gangs of destructive individual. [... destructive INDIVIDUALS. I think this was just an oversight.]
how they feel about theses different colors. [Misspell]
I'm getting to know and like these girls, Liz.
Jay
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Except for the problems with agreement, your chapter reads quite well. I like the idea of the railless steps ascending the mountain. It has a spiritual feel to it. Here are the pieces of spag that I undcovered:
"I noted everyone moving their body in different manners," [Everyone moving their BODIES (they don't share one -- well, except in a spiritual way, I suppose)]
for the semblance of a walking stick. [Again, if it's more than one, it would be, "for the semblance of WALKING STICKS".]
With after thought, [With AFTERTHOUGHTS..,]
"everyone searched out and found a decent, strong walking stick. [This is growing into a problem with agreement. They all found them. Therefore: "everyone searched out and found decent, strong, walking STICKS." Or, "EACH one searched out and found A decent, strong, walking STICK."]
they grasped their walking stick ["STICKS"]
Just as our balloon of hope was shriveling [Then along comes this beauty! LOVE IT!]
As we continued to trudge, foresightful, Cyndy, began a discussion as a distraction from our feelings of futility. [I don't know why you set Cyndy apart with commas. They shouldn't be there. It just makes the sentence confusing.]
where there aren't gangs of destructive individual. [... destructive INDIVIDUALS. I think this was just an oversight.]
how they feel about theses different colors. [Misspell]
I'm getting to know and like these girls, Liz.
Jay
Comment Written 04-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Oh, my gosh. Thank you for your observant review. I have copied & pasted these. Those darn walking (stick)...lol
I'm glad you are enjoying it.
I always look forward to your reviews. I know things will be more balanced in my chapter.
Comment from lyenochka
Cool! And you'll share more about the meanings of those aura colors, I'm sure! I'm glad that they are taking steps to walk by faith and hope (with their walking sticks) and following the Spirit leading the dowsers.
I really liked "walking stick as a symbol of hope" and "balloon of hope was shriveling."
gangs of destructive individual. (individuals)
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Cool! And you'll share more about the meanings of those aura colors, I'm sure! I'm glad that they are taking steps to walk by faith and hope (with their walking sticks) and following the Spirit leading the dowsers.
I really liked "walking stick as a symbol of hope" and "balloon of hope was shriveling."
gangs of destructive individual. (individuals)
Comment Written 04-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad you are still enjoying it.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Liz, I just popped.in to read some of your writing, and here you are with a book in full progress. I liked what I read and i will definitely be reading on. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Hi Liz, I just popped.in to read some of your writing, and here you are with a book in full progress. I liked what I read and i will definitely be reading on. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 04-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your interested review. It is difficult coming in cold. If you are interested, it is about a real trip to England but tweaked to go 'Twilight Zone ish' The first 18 chapters are about the power spots we visited, along with a crop circle. All with discussion about the Michael & Mary ley lines. This was building up to an idea of a sense we'd gotten, that we'd been there before. There were some pretty horrible things that happened. So I decided to write about them. You are welcome to scan through my portfolio to read any chapters leading up to this chapter. You could begin on chapter 16 to get into it. No need for a review, just enjoy.
Comment from aryr
What a fantastic continuation chapter, Liz. The fact that both Cordelia and Madeline saw the people's aura meant something to them. The bright glowing white meant something. It was suggested by Cordelia that they simply look at the other side of the hill after they each found suitable walking sticks. Definitely a wonderful start. I wonder what it was? Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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What a fantastic continuation chapter, Liz. The fact that both Cordelia and Madeline saw the people's aura meant something to them. The bright glowing white meant something. It was suggested by Cordelia that they simply look at the other side of the hill after they each found suitable walking sticks. Definitely a wonderful start. I wonder what it was? Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessings n Hugs!
Comment Written 04-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad you are still enjoying it.
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You are so very welcome, Liz. Blessings n Hugs!
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***big warm hug***
Comment from Jasmine Girl
Wow. These people are magical. They can feel energies from people and see auras in different colors and understand their deeper meaning. I want to know: the meaning of the glowing brilliant white light.
Well done.
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Wow. These people are magical. They can feel energies from people and see auras in different colors and understand their deeper meaning. I want to know: the meaning of the glowing brilliant white light.
Well done.
Comment Written 04-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your appreciative review. I'm glad you are still enjoying it. I'm betting you could see auras if you understood it. It has a lot to do with the gut feeling you get around certain people.
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed this story as it is well written and presented.
Your writing is intelligent and descriptive.
I appreciate the larger font size and shorter paragraphs.
The theme is interesting and kept me engaged throughout.
The characters are well developed and interact in a natural way.
The dialogue reads realistically with a smooth flow.
I appreciate the autor notes.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
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I enjoyed this story as it is well written and presented.
Your writing is intelligent and descriptive.
I appreciate the larger font size and shorter paragraphs.
The theme is interesting and kept me engaged throughout.
The characters are well developed and interact in a natural way.
The dialogue reads realistically with a smooth flow.
I appreciate the autor notes.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
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Wow, this is such a wonderful review. Thank you.You have absorbed the spirit and message intended. You show great appreciation for my voice. I am honored.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I found this rather frustrating. Several times you approached answers and/or illumination, yet you reoeatedly backed off. For example, you wrote 'I think we all understood why there were no railings.' I felt excluded from this understanding. or 'Madeline knew what she was seeing with the people coming toward her and the meaning' Am I supposed to be privy to this knowledge or not? Kate xx
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
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I found this rather frustrating. Several times you approached answers and/or illumination, yet you reoeatedly backed off. For example, you wrote 'I think we all understood why there were no railings.' I felt excluded from this understanding. or 'Madeline knew what she was seeing with the people coming toward her and the meaning' Am I supposed to be privy to this knowledge or not? Kate xx
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 03-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your efforts to follow, in reviewing this chapter. They discussed why they never put up the railings. It was actually based on my research of a board discussion about whether they should put up railings. I thought it would be an interesting topic. They saw the people coming toward them with very bright auras. We will find out in the next chapter.
Comment from Mabaker12
This is an amazing story Liz, and you do such a terrific job of telling also you are describing it so thoroughly I feel I'm climbing those stairs with the girls. Luv Anne
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
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This is an amazing story Liz, and you do such a terrific job of telling also you are describing it so thoroughly I feel I'm climbing those stairs with the girls. Luv Anne
Comment Written 03-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
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Thank you for your enthusiastic review. Thank you for the shiny 6. You know, Anne, I've tried to remember if my friends & I went up those steps or not. I can't picture that we did? I think we must have gone up the walking path. You see, I really went here.