The Best Time of Ohmie's Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Best Time of ohmie's Life pt 12"Dying of cancer, Ohmie learns his parents are spie
9 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Couldn't resist trying to catch up with Ohmie. The operation his parents are into is getting very complicated. His parents are still trying to be the best parents they can be, but Ohmie is diverted from his illness by their jobs.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2022
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Couldn't resist trying to catch up with Ohmie. The operation his parents are into is getting very complicated. His parents are still trying to be the best parents they can be, but Ohmie is diverted from his illness by their jobs.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2022
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Ohmie's attitude wasn't much help
Comment from Michaela Moore
Oo. Now the stage is set for more great adventure as we head toward the climax. I have missed this book. I love this Ohmie so much. He has grasped my heart and won't let go. And I love that both of his parents have enough love to cover their wild sides in their careers. And the dialogue is always so engaging. I have one more chapter to read that you have written so far. Here I go!
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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Oo. Now the stage is set for more great adventure as we head toward the climax. I have missed this book. I love this Ohmie so much. He has grasped my heart and won't let go. And I love that both of his parents have enough love to cover their wild sides in their careers. And the dialogue is always so engaging. I have one more chapter to read that you have written so far. Here I go!
Comment Written 08-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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Thank you. You make my day!
Comment from Judy Lawless
It's hard to believe Ohmie has cancer, except for the trouble doing stairs and hauling luggage around. His brain seems to be functioning quite normally for him. :) I liked this chapter, Wayne. It's well written and the mystery continues. I started to review it earlier in the day, before the promotion ended, but I ran out of steam. Oh well. :)
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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It's hard to believe Ohmie has cancer, except for the trouble doing stairs and hauling luggage around. His brain seems to be functioning quite normally for him. :) I liked this chapter, Wayne. It's well written and the mystery continues. I started to review it earlier in the day, before the promotion ended, but I ran out of steam. Oh well. :)
Comment Written 04-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 04-Oct-2022
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Sorry. Promotions shouldn't be so expensive, and they should last a week.
Thank you for the very nice review.
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You're most welcome, Wayne. I agree promotions are expensive, and it takes a lot of reviewing to earn enough to post, which takes from time to write. Oh well. I don't mind so much when something I'm following. :)
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Wish I could reward better.
Maybe if I reviewed more poems.... (Ughhh)
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I?m with you when it comes to poetry. I look for ones that I can relate to because I don?t know much about style. Lol
Comment from Wendy G
I'm a bit lost in working out who is double or triple crossing who, and what his parents are actually doing at present apart from running across many countries. I am still assuming Ohmie's parents are the good guys and trying to escape from punishment for their previous good work. Dortch is a baddie. Now what is the cause? And will Ohmie survive long enough to see his parents vindicated?
(You can tell me, I won't tell anyone! Lol)
Wendy
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2022
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I'm a bit lost in working out who is double or triple crossing who, and what his parents are actually doing at present apart from running across many countries. I am still assuming Ohmie's parents are the good guys and trying to escape from punishment for their previous good work. Dortch is a baddie. Now what is the cause? And will Ohmie survive long enough to see his parents vindicated?
(You can tell me, I won't tell anyone! Lol)
Wendy
Comment Written 01-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2022
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Thank you for the review.
I'm finding that a thousand words at a time leave readers with too many questions. But 2 thousand is too much. Grrrr.
I'm also trying to thread a political line. There are FS members who are on the 'other' side. Dortch is the bad CIA agent. He is helping the U.S. political extreme right (that's the part I can't come right out and say). Belarus operators are doing malware, spyware, and all sorts of computer evil. They also throw hints that it is Ukraine, not them. Ohmie's dad has to clear his own name, and catch Dortch, who presently has the CIA's blessings. Dortch has convinced the Serbs that it was Ohmie's dad who captured their general and took him to the Hague for trial.
As you can see, the task may be beyond my skills and self-imposed limits.
Thanks for listening.
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Oh wow, what a story! Yes, I get it now why you are hesitant about the plot and what you actually say. I think there are many on the 'other' side! Your thinking and writing skills are outstanding if you can your head around all that!
Wendy
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smiley face here
You are too kind.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
In that first paragraph when you start talking about dodecahedrons and other shapes with more sides - none of that is necessary and is a bit of a distraction. You could begin with "It was just Dad's side against the bad guy's side."
Good dialogue with Ohmie as he tells his parents, in the bathroom, that after everything they don't need to continue to keep things from him.
It sounds like Ohmie is part of the team now, part of the conversation and part of the threesome putting the facts together as they go forward. I still can't believe he's going to die. You must be dreading writing that.
Have a good weekend, Wayne. We'll check in with Ohmie next week.
Pam
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
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In that first paragraph when you start talking about dodecahedrons and other shapes with more sides - none of that is necessary and is a bit of a distraction. You could begin with "It was just Dad's side against the bad guy's side."
Good dialogue with Ohmie as he tells his parents, in the bathroom, that after everything they don't need to continue to keep things from him.
It sounds like Ohmie is part of the team now, part of the conversation and part of the threesome putting the facts together as they go forward. I still can't believe he's going to die. You must be dreading writing that.
Have a good weekend, Wayne. We'll check in with Ohmie next week.
Pam
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
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Already written.
My goal in the first paragraph (failed?) was to remind readers of Ohmie's prodigy-ness.
Thank you for the review.
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Wayne, I actually thought about that (prodigy-ness) after I posted, thought that might be what you were going for. It just distracted, as I said.
Have a good weekend.
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A better writer could have distracted the reader without their awareness. Bad on me.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
This mystery is getting so deep, it's mysterious. I am still trying to find out why Ohmie's Dad is running. I know someone wants to kill him but why? I also know he has a drive someone wants and is willing to kill for, but why? And where is he going?
P1, s1: Add a comma after (chapter)
P2, s4: (was) should be (were) to agree with (more than)
P2, s5: (There's) should be (There are) to agree with (shapes)
P3, s5: (triple double) should be (triple-double) hyphen
P8, s4: (garrotte) should be (garrote) Spelling. To kill (someone) by strangulation, typically with an iron collar or a length of wire or cord:
P9, s2: Add a comma after (peripheral)
P13, s1: (passed) should be (past)
P13, s4: (past) should be (passed)
P19, s1: (field work) should be (fieldwork) one word
P34, s3: (I kidding,) should be (I kidding?) punctuation. Question
P40, s3: (pin ball) should be (pinball) one word
I'm hanging in there. Wither waiting for Ohmie to give up the ghost or for his mom and dad to become ghosts.
Great interwoven tale.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
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This mystery is getting so deep, it's mysterious. I am still trying to find out why Ohmie's Dad is running. I know someone wants to kill him but why? I also know he has a drive someone wants and is willing to kill for, but why? And where is he going?
P1, s1: Add a comma after (chapter)
P2, s4: (was) should be (were) to agree with (more than)
P2, s5: (There's) should be (There are) to agree with (shapes)
P3, s5: (triple double) should be (triple-double) hyphen
P8, s4: (garrotte) should be (garrote) Spelling. To kill (someone) by strangulation, typically with an iron collar or a length of wire or cord:
P9, s2: Add a comma after (peripheral)
P13, s1: (passed) should be (past)
P13, s4: (past) should be (passed)
P19, s1: (field work) should be (fieldwork) one word
P34, s3: (I kidding,) should be (I kidding?) punctuation. Question
P40, s3: (pin ball) should be (pinball) one word
I'm hanging in there. Wither waiting for Ohmie to give up the ghost or for his mom and dad to become ghosts.
Great interwoven tale.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
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At least we now know a little of why Dad is running/hiding - Dortch, a fellow CIA agent is setting him up and supplying bogus data to the US. More to come.
You won't believe this: 3 of your corrections were corrections of another reviewer's corrections!
A few of you finds were Ohmie's improper grammar as he thinks (1st person). But don't let that stop you. I don't want Ohmie to come across as a dunce, just as a sort of lazy (and dying, don't care) teenager. I appreciate the opportunity to reconsider.
Thank you for the review!
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I always try to give Ohmie the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes my observations seem to be written on narration that does not necessarily sound like Ohmie speaking.
Well, I guess I straightened that other reviewer out then, didn't I? ;)) LOL
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Oh, I read your other reviews to try to find the culprit who wanted corrections directly opposite of mine and I ran across a suggestion for you to have Ohmie invent a bridge for the mind. Sounds like a great caveman Ohmie adventure.
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been thinkin' on it. hmmmmm
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been thinkin' on it. hmmmmm
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hah!
smiley face here
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
There must be something in the way your brain works, or maybe it's the difficultes of this reading in series. Either way, all your long stories become really complicated for me before they settle back into something I can get my teeth into. Hoping this complicated bit stops soon. Kate xx
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
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There must be something in the way your brain works, or maybe it's the difficultes of this reading in series. Either way, all your long stories become really complicated for me before they settle back into something I can get my teeth into. Hoping this complicated bit stops soon. Kate xx
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
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Yeah. A chapter a week on some of the posts is hard for me too.
Thanks for the review.
Comment from Susan Newell
Wayne,
II have to admit to getting lost among all the peripheral characters, but the story is entertaining nevertheless. I've made some notes on nits to be picked.
Sue
jedi-minded -- I think Jedi
Maybe garret him with a wire tucked in your belt?" ==> garotte
In my peripheral I saw mom was staring at Dad. ==> peripheral vision I saw Mom
She wasn't one of those who had to hear an idea come out of their own mouth to hear it, or accept it. -- astute observation for Ohmie
Mom being a looker, and well, I probably was, too, with my bosomy figure. -- chuckle
to take us back to a restaurant we'd past back the other way. ==> passed
Mom told him "yes". "But that's all I know," she added. -- awkward -- better as: Mom said, "Yes," then added, "but . . . " and continue with all her speech.
Actually, so I could show off, who was I kidding. ==> off. Who was I kidding?
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
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Wayne,
II have to admit to getting lost among all the peripheral characters, but the story is entertaining nevertheless. I've made some notes on nits to be picked.
Sue
jedi-minded -- I think Jedi
Maybe garret him with a wire tucked in your belt?" ==> garotte
In my peripheral I saw mom was staring at Dad. ==> peripheral vision I saw Mom
She wasn't one of those who had to hear an idea come out of their own mouth to hear it, or accept it. -- astute observation for Ohmie
Mom being a looker, and well, I probably was, too, with my bosomy figure. -- chuckle
to take us back to a restaurant we'd past back the other way. ==> passed
Mom told him "yes". "But that's all I know," she added. -- awkward -- better as: Mom said, "Yes," then added, "but . . . " and continue with all her speech.
Actually, so I could show off, who was I kidding. ==> off. Who was I kidding?
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
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Thank you. When I'm in my left brain, my right is shut off.
Thank you for the helps and for the review.
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I suggest you have Ohmie invent a brain bridge. :-)
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hmmmmm
an idea
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hmmmmm
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
I like how they are acting like parents (going into the bathroom to talk about things) and he points out that there is blood on his hands. This was an enjoyable read. Your storytelling makes everything feel so "real" and natural. Very enjoyable. Excellent writing!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
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I like how they are acting like parents (going into the bathroom to talk about things) and he points out that there is blood on his hands. This was an enjoyable read. Your storytelling makes everything feel so "real" and natural. Very enjoyable. Excellent writing!
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
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Thank you very much. You are too kind.
