The Starling
3/8/4 Modern Haiku6 total reviews
Comment from Mary Vigasin
I love the play on words with starling and stardom.
Very fun and creative in words and presentation.
I enjoyed this. Very well done.
Best wishes
Mary
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
  |
I love the play on words with starling and stardom.
Very fun and creative in words and presentation.
I enjoyed this. Very well done.
Best wishes
Mary
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
-
Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback. Hugs!
Gypsy
Comment from aryr
I can fully understand why the nightingale flies over the boulevard seeking stardom, Gypsy. All stars want that- stardom. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
|
I can fully understand why the nightingale flies over the boulevard seeking stardom, Gypsy. All stars want that- stardom. Very well done and greatly enjoyed. Blessed Be n Hugs!
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
-
Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback. Blessed be n hugs.
Gypsy
-
Most welcome, Gypsy. Blessed Be n Hugs!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
As I read your beautiful Modern Haiku, I began to wonder if I've ever heard a nightingale. I'm not sure I ever have. I'm going to start paying more attention. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
|
As I read your beautiful Modern Haiku, I began to wonder if I've ever heard a nightingale. I'm not sure I ever have. I'm going to start paying more attention. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
-
Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Heather Knight
This one made me smile. I also loved reading the info in your notes. I read it again and again (whenever you post something)
in the hope one day I'll be able to write like you.
I have a silly question: why have you explained the word dome if you haven't used it in your poem? Is there a line missing?
BTW, nightingales are lovely birds.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
|
This one made me smile. I also loved reading the info in your notes. I read it again and again (whenever you post something)
in the hope one day I'll be able to write like you.
I have a silly question: why have you explained the word dome if you haven't used it in your poem? Is there a line missing?
BTW, nightingales are lovely birds.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
-
Stardom is being a famous actor, star-dome is the sky...it's a play on words.
Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
-
Okay, it get what you meant now. I can be quite thick sometimes. It's pretty obvious...x
-
Not at all, I changed a couple of things and it's better. Thank you
-
Ah, so now it's a starling. You are right, that's super cool.
Comment from lyenochka
That's cute! It reminds me of that song, "Do you know the way to San Jose?" The lines "And all the stars that never were
Are parking cars and pumping gas"
So many dream of stardom and go to California!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
|
That's cute! It reminds me of that song, "Do you know the way to San Jose?" The lines "And all the stars that never were
Are parking cars and pumping gas"
So many dream of stardom and go to California!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
-
Thank you very much, big sister. I'm thinking about taking the author notes off. I was trying to do a play on words...stars dome, and stardom but nobody gets it and one was confused. What do you think?
Love ❤️
Marival
-
Well, that dome of the sky isn't as common so maybe that's why it's not clear. I see now why you chose the nightingale for the night stars. I wonder what you would do with the starling bird instead?
-
Thank you, big sister. I like your suggestion. I changed to starling and deleted the vocabulary, I just kept Hollywood.
-
So glad that was a useful suggestion! Loved your edit but I liked the original, too.
-
Thank you 😊 💓 ❤️
Comment from Jasmine Girl
You used this 4/8/4 modern Haiku to describe a Nightingale's desire to be a star. I'm not surprised. Their beautiful voice definitely deserve an Oscar. They know where to seek it. I like the alliteration, too.
Well done.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
|
You used this 4/8/4 modern Haiku to describe a Nightingale's desire to be a star. I'm not surprised. Their beautiful voice definitely deserve an Oscar. They know where to seek it. I like the alliteration, too.
Well done.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
-
Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy hugs
