An Itchy Witch
There's nothing worse than...9 total reviews
Comment from WendyLea
This is such a wonderful poem! The picture really goes with it. I enjoyed laughing throughout and could picture this poor witch's dilemma. My only feedback is the line "his face turned shades or red"....did you mean shades of red? You are a very talented poet!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023
  |
This is such a wonderful poem! The picture really goes with it. I enjoyed laughing throughout and could picture this poor witch's dilemma. My only feedback is the line "his face turned shades or red"....did you mean shades of red? You are a very talented poet!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023
-
Thank you for that wonderful compliment and the correction. I really appreciate both. :)
Comment from Faith Williams
Your poem had me laughing by the second stanza! And you managed to fit 'nether regions' in it.
Suggestions to consider:
'his face turned shades or red.' I think this should read 'shades of red'.
"Let's cancel Halloween!", I don't think you need the comma here.
Hilarious! Loved it, and best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023
 |
Your poem had me laughing by the second stanza! And you managed to fit 'nether regions' in it.
Suggestions to consider:
'his face turned shades or red.' I think this should read 'shades of red'.
"Let's cancel Halloween!", I don't think you need the comma here.
Hilarious! Loved it, and best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 23-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2023
-
Thank you for this exceptional review and for the corrections, I appreciate both more then you know. :)
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Close but no cigar but maybe a cigarette for finishing second. The location of the itch may have been too disturbing for some. Well done and congrats for the silver ribbon.
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2022
|
Close but no cigar but maybe a cigarette for finishing second. The location of the itch may have been too disturbing for some. Well done and congrats for the silver ribbon.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 01-Oct-2022
-
Hahaha...good thing I don't smoke! I never really said where the itch was, people are just too clever. Thanks so much for this nice review. :)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Funny Nonsense Poem writing prompt Contest.
That witch was very uncomfortable and so was the doctor. LoL
You grasped the form well. Nice presentation. Your descriptive words flow well expressing clear mental imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
|
Excellent entry for the Funny Nonsense Poem writing prompt Contest.
That witch was very uncomfortable and so was the doctor. LoL
You grasped the form well. Nice presentation. Your descriptive words flow well expressing clear mental imagery.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 30-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
-
Thank you, thats so nice of you to say. I appreciate this great review. :)
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Ok Miss competit'ion, I'm actually proud to have you as the one that I compete the most with as being first or second is always a compliment to be even close, when we enter the same ones. Your way of thinking and writing reminds me of myself as I love these fun ones. This is so cute and the picture looks like it was made to go with your fun poem. This my dear friend deserves a six as it is great! I do wish you good luck, yet not sure you need luck when you have talent like yours. This was awesome! Bravo!
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
|
Ok Miss competit'ion, I'm actually proud to have you as the one that I compete the most with as being first or second is always a compliment to be even close, when we enter the same ones. Your way of thinking and writing reminds me of myself as I love these fun ones. This is so cute and the picture looks like it was made to go with your fun poem. This my dear friend deserves a six as it is great! I do wish you good luck, yet not sure you need luck when you have talent like yours. This was awesome! Bravo!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2022
-
Thank you for this exceptional review. Congratulations to us both, you are a fantastic writer and I enjoy your work immensely. I'm a huge fan of Dr Suess and your poem had that same vibe to it. Thanks for making my day, you are wonderful. :)
Comment from jessizero
I enjoyed reading your tale of the "itchy witch." It was very cute and entertaining. I am glad she was finally cured of the itch, though, as you said, a happy witch doesn't seem right. :)
Thanks for sharing this here, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
|
I enjoyed reading your tale of the "itchy witch." It was very cute and entertaining. I am glad she was finally cured of the itch, though, as you said, a happy witch doesn't seem right. :)
Thanks for sharing this here, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
-
Thank you for this great review, it's always so nice to hear from you. :)
Comment from Sally Law
This is just an itchy scream, mystery poet! A fun one for the season and prompt. Exceptional writing and aptly illustrated. Sending you my best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sally :))
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
|
This is just an itchy scream, mystery poet! A fun one for the season and prompt. Exceptional writing and aptly illustrated. Sending you my best wishes for the upcoming contest,
Sally :))
Comment Written 29-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
-
Thank you for this wonderful review and your kind words. :)
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Poet,
I've read only two other nonsense poems for this contest - and yours certainly hangs in there with them. *smile* The 'itchy witch' theme is a fun one and something that most people (especially kids, I imagine) would be able to appreciate, visualize, and smile about. Haha! I can even see little ones ACTING IT OUT as they listen! hahaha!
Which leads me to think it might be fun to add an extra stanza about what motions and movements that poor witch went through to try to reach that itch - for example:
With witchy twists, she scratched from left!
And then she scratched from right!
She used a stick and used her hands
to scratch where there's no light!
--> which, I'm sure, you could write better than me! *smile*
But, even as the poem stands now - it's great fun, so feel free to ignore me on that! *smile*
Other notes to consider:
1.) She's tried so many potions but
her itch is here to stay.
--> She's tried (a thousand potions) but
her itch (seems) here to stay.
--> moves more from the abstract to something more concrete and exact - making her exertions seem more impactful, maybe
2.) The eye of newt cream mixed with care,
it eased it up a bit.
--> The eye(-)of(-)newt cream(,) mixed with care,
(had) eased it up a bit.
--> more exact language again - and to get rid of one 'it' - they can be very vague as a rule. You might even consider swapping the second 'it' for 'things':
--> (had) eased (things) up a bit.
3.) A witch (d)octor, she knew quite well,
--> no need to cap
4.) "Let's cancel Halloween!",
--> no comma at the end - you have already provided the punctuation needed.
5.) No longer now an itchy witch,
her toothless smile (grows/grew) bright.
--> for syllable count and to make the image clearer
6.) Your syllable counts within stanzas vary. Please note that as we read along your stanzas change, i.e.:
1 = 8/6/8/6
2 = 8/7/8/6 *
3 = 8/6/8/6
4 = 8/6/8/6
5 = 8/6/8/6
6 = 8/6/8/6
7 = 8/6/8/6
8 = 8/8/8/9 *
9 = 8/5/8/9 *
I already suggested adding an extra word to S9L2 - either 'grew' or 'grows' would move that to the 8/6 version.
For S8L4 - that 'finally' reeaalllly sends things off. Consider eliding a portion by using:
--> (fin'ly) a cure for this witch itch!
--> which would move your syllable count back to eight in that line - which is still off from most of the other stanzas, btw.
Hope you find something useful here! Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
 |
Dear Mystery Poet,
I've read only two other nonsense poems for this contest - and yours certainly hangs in there with them. *smile* The 'itchy witch' theme is a fun one and something that most people (especially kids, I imagine) would be able to appreciate, visualize, and smile about. Haha! I can even see little ones ACTING IT OUT as they listen! hahaha!
Which leads me to think it might be fun to add an extra stanza about what motions and movements that poor witch went through to try to reach that itch - for example:
With witchy twists, she scratched from left!
And then she scratched from right!
She used a stick and used her hands
to scratch where there's no light!
--> which, I'm sure, you could write better than me! *smile*
But, even as the poem stands now - it's great fun, so feel free to ignore me on that! *smile*
Other notes to consider:
1.) She's tried so many potions but
her itch is here to stay.
--> She's tried (a thousand potions) but
her itch (seems) here to stay.
--> moves more from the abstract to something more concrete and exact - making her exertions seem more impactful, maybe
2.) The eye of newt cream mixed with care,
it eased it up a bit.
--> The eye(-)of(-)newt cream(,) mixed with care,
(had) eased it up a bit.
--> more exact language again - and to get rid of one 'it' - they can be very vague as a rule. You might even consider swapping the second 'it' for 'things':
--> (had) eased (things) up a bit.
3.) A witch (d)octor, she knew quite well,
--> no need to cap
4.) "Let's cancel Halloween!",
--> no comma at the end - you have already provided the punctuation needed.
5.) No longer now an itchy witch,
her toothless smile (grows/grew) bright.
--> for syllable count and to make the image clearer
6.) Your syllable counts within stanzas vary. Please note that as we read along your stanzas change, i.e.:
1 = 8/6/8/6
2 = 8/7/8/6 *
3 = 8/6/8/6
4 = 8/6/8/6
5 = 8/6/8/6
6 = 8/6/8/6
7 = 8/6/8/6
8 = 8/8/8/9 *
9 = 8/5/8/9 *
I already suggested adding an extra word to S9L2 - either 'grew' or 'grows' would move that to the 8/6 version.
For S8L4 - that 'finally' reeaalllly sends things off. Consider eliding a portion by using:
--> (fin'ly) a cure for this witch itch!
--> which would move your syllable count back to eight in that line - which is still off from most of the other stanzas, btw.
Hope you find something useful here! Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
-
Thank you for all of these helpful suggestions. I added in another stanza ( not as good as yours though ) and I'm going to work on those other issues. Thanks again. :)
Comment from AprilViolet
This poem is hilarious lol. I loved the way you rhymed and the picture. Indeed a difficult itch to scratch. Glad she found the magic cream! Thanks for the laugh!
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
|
This poem is hilarious lol. I loved the way you rhymed and the picture. Indeed a difficult itch to scratch. Glad she found the magic cream! Thanks for the laugh!
Comment Written 29-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
-
Thank you for this amazing review, it means a lot to me. :)
