The Best Time of Ohmie's Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Best Time of Ohmie's Life pt 11"Dying of cancer, Ohmie learns his parents are spie
11 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
What a very poignant phrase; "I was exhausted and I wanted them to love one another, especially after I was gone." Says a lot in that one simple sentence. It reveals a lot of today's problems even.
P1, s1: Add a comma after (chapter)
P16, s4: (wizzes) should be (whizzes) spelling
P17, s3: SUGGEST (enthralled) rather than (in thrall) "Enthralled" means you're charmed, fascinated, intrigued, interested, utterly caught up in something. Whereas "in thrall to" means you're under someone else's power. You're enslaved by them, 'belong' to them.
P20, s2: (then) should be (them) spelling
P24, s1: I gotta take your word for it, I don't know German and I couldn't find this phrase anywhere.
P26, s3: (half minute) should be (half-minute) Hyphen, to complete phrase.
P26, s5: (there's) should be either (there are) or (there're) to agree with (been more)
P26, s8: (ear worm) should be (earworm) one word
This a story fit for television at least, if not the movies. The part where Ohmie takes the stage is marvelous. It's right out of a Jerry Lewis telethon. Excellent Wayne.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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What a very poignant phrase; "I was exhausted and I wanted them to love one another, especially after I was gone." Says a lot in that one simple sentence. It reveals a lot of today's problems even.
P1, s1: Add a comma after (chapter)
P16, s4: (wizzes) should be (whizzes) spelling
P17, s3: SUGGEST (enthralled) rather than (in thrall) "Enthralled" means you're charmed, fascinated, intrigued, interested, utterly caught up in something. Whereas "in thrall to" means you're under someone else's power. You're enslaved by them, 'belong' to them.
P20, s2: (then) should be (them) spelling
P24, s1: I gotta take your word for it, I don't know German and I couldn't find this phrase anywhere.
P26, s3: (half minute) should be (half-minute) Hyphen, to complete phrase.
P26, s5: (there's) should be either (there are) or (there're) to agree with (been more)
P26, s8: (ear worm) should be (earworm) one word
This a story fit for television at least, if not the movies. The part where Ohmie takes the stage is marvelous. It's right out of a Jerry Lewis telethon. Excellent Wayne.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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Thank you.
I'd kinda like to see it on screen myself. (smiley face here)
And thank you for the catches, though sometimes that's the way a thirteen year old would speak. Still, I appreciate being able to reconsider.
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Thank you. And thank you for the catches.
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I try to give as much leeway as possible for Ohmie's age and condition. But sometimes even a 13-year-old wouldn't say some of those things. I mean, does your average 13-year-old even know the phrase "in thrall" exists? Of course, Ohmie is a gifted one, so like I say, I try to give as him as much slack as possible.
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He appreciates that.
Every once in a while, I need to remind reviewers of his giftedness.
Thank you.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a heart-warming chapter, Wayne. It's hard to remember that Ohmie is mostly in disguise as a girl, so it was especially funny when he "pulled down the bra and threw the wig..." And I could feel that love the three of them shared after his impressive performance. Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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This is a heart-warming chapter, Wayne. It's hard to remember that Ohmie is mostly in disguise as a girl, so it was especially funny when he "pulled down the bra and threw the wig..." And I could feel that love the three of them shared after his impressive performance. Well done.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you!
I used to say that I didn't write mushy stuff. Guess I can't say that as loudly anymore. (smiley face here)
Oh, and thank you immensely for the six stars.
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You're most welcome, Wayne. Yes, you did get a little mushy in this one. lol
Comment from Terry Broxson
Wayne, another well-done story. I love the relationship you have established with your characters. I have never been to Europe, but I have tried their beer...yuck! Exceptional work. Terry.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Wayne, another well-done story. I love the relationship you have established with your characters. I have never been to Europe, but I have tried their beer...yuck! Exceptional work. Terry.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you!
And thank you immensely for the stars.
Comment from Wendy G
An excellent chapter Wayne, and also a very moving one in terms of relationships, particularly in view of Ohmie's imminent death. He has a lot of insight too. Fine writing, keeping the interest from the start to the finish.
Wendy
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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An excellent chapter Wayne, and also a very moving one in terms of relationships, particularly in view of Ohmie's imminent death. He has a lot of insight too. Fine writing, keeping the interest from the start to the finish.
Wendy
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you. Coming up, I hope I can pull off suspension-of-belief from the cancer as Ohmie does some spy work.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
This Ohmie story is packed with emotions from all three of your main characters, as told through the eyes of a young boy (living an adult life). It's sad that it took his family so long to become a happy one, and sad that it took a serious illness for this to come about. Just like so many real families.
A very good piece of storytelling. Ohmie being able to play with the symphony was a nice touch.
Pam
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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This Ohmie story is packed with emotions from all three of your main characters, as told through the eyes of a young boy (living an adult life). It's sad that it took his family so long to become a happy one, and sad that it took a serious illness for this to come about. Just like so many real families.
A very good piece of storytelling. Ohmie being able to play with the symphony was a nice touch.
Pam
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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smiley face here. Thank you.
Comment from Jay Squires
I love the young character, Ohmie. You pen him so well. His emotions are spot on and the way he interacts with his mother and dad is really touching, knowing that, absent a miracle, he will soon die. Everything is well developed and finely paced. Great job, Wayne.
Jay
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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I love the young character, Ohmie. You pen him so well. His emotions are spot on and the way he interacts with his mother and dad is really touching, knowing that, absent a miracle, he will soon die. Everything is well developed and finely paced. Great job, Wayne.
Jay
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Michaela Moore
End of the week and no more sixes, although this one clearly deserves a 6. You keep surprising me with the twists and turns of this beautiful, adventurous book. I was so touched down to my soul with this chapter. And to keep it from getting too unrealistically sappy, we get wonderful cheeky thought shots from Ohmie. I never want this book to end.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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End of the week and no more sixes, although this one clearly deserves a 6. You keep surprising me with the twists and turns of this beautiful, adventurous book. I was so touched down to my soul with this chapter. And to keep it from getting too unrealistically sappy, we get wonderful cheeky thought shots from Ohmie. I never want this book to end.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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You are too kind. Thank you.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
His parents are better than the best parents as they try to make him have the best time of his life and let him know they love him. Ohmie's recital could not have been better. I really love your Ohmie stories.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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His parents are better than the best parents as they try to make him have the best time of his life and let him know they love him. Ohmie's recital could not have been better. I really love your Ohmie stories.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Every so often you throw out a brilliant Best of Ohmie, that makes me sigh with satisfaction. This is one of them. Perfect blend of humaness, and reference to spy-stuff, without too much cancer death, served up with a subtle twist of humour. Sadly, life here is even more complex than usual, and I can't wait the 5 hours before reviewing until the sixes are renewed. So I give you the best I can, and a personal saulute. Very well done. Kate xx
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Every so often you throw out a brilliant Best of Ohmie, that makes me sigh with satisfaction. This is one of them. Perfect blend of humaness, and reference to spy-stuff, without too much cancer death, served up with a subtle twist of humour. Sadly, life here is even more complex than usual, and I can't wait the 5 hours before reviewing until the sixes are renewed. So I give you the best I can, and a personal saulute. Very well done. Kate xx
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you. Your reviews are always special.
Comment from royowen
The story of young Ohmie is happy/sad story, but it's good his assassin dad is coming to the love party concerning Ohmie, and what can a child prodigy do but play violin extremely well. I really like this episode Wayne, a lighthearted one, well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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The story of young Ohmie is happy/sad story, but it's good his assassin dad is coming to the love party concerning Ohmie, and what can a child prodigy do but play violin extremely well. I really like this episode Wayne, a lighthearted one, well done, blessings Roy
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you.
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Welcome
