The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer 21"America's First Female Comic
26 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
It tears me up that you actually included this scenario of the double-occupied casket. This is very touching for me. Clever observation: "I think it was ... from the way you're fidgeting." I love this expression. It takes me back a ways: "Pshaw," There was a tug on my heart with the scene at the gravestone with Maple. You are not anywhere running out of steam in this chapter. A+ you did it...congratulations
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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It tears me up that you actually included this scenario of the double-occupied casket. This is very touching for me. Clever observation: "I think it was ... from the way you're fidgeting." I love this expression. It takes me back a ways: "Pshaw," There was a tug on my heart with the scene at the gravestone with Maple. You are not anywhere running out of steam in this chapter. A+ you did it...congratulations
Comment Written 27-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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Liz, you have been so kind throughout. I felt you really did enjoy my play on a deep level. That makes me all gooshy. Thanks, Liz! And of course, for the chartreuse cherry on top.
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'gooshy' here too. Looking forward to the next inspired creation.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I like that Fanny and Juniper looked down from heaven in white robs. It's esthetically very beautiful, mentally romantic. Where is the poem? I want to read the poem.
Is this really the end?
Well done and wonder what's next.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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I like that Fanny and Juniper looked down from heaven in white robs. It's esthetically very beautiful, mentally romantic. Where is the poem? I want to read the poem.
Is this really the end?
Well done and wonder what's next.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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Hey, Lisa, Nothing is next. The poem you wanted to read is carved into the base of the statue. I thought I'd made that clear. In any event, what's next will be some kind of short story. I'm a bit burned out on plays.
Thanks for reading, though. You are da bomb!
Jay
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Thanks for posting the poem, a rhyming poem. Did you write it? It's very old fashioned. It seems to me that you chose the name "Flourney" so it rhymes with "Journey".
I will post a short story and a new chapter of the script soon.
Just give you a head up. Thanks a lot for helping. You can definitely take a break from writing scripts.
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Yes, I wrote it. There aren't too many words that rhyme with Flourney.
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I'll keep my eyes open, Lisa.
Jay
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I'm flattered to be called a "Da Bomb".
Lisa
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
First of all, thank you for writing this play. I will never forget Fanny or Juniper, or the reporter for that matter. And when I think about them, I'll remember Thurston Flourney, and all the Thurston Flourneys out there across North America... around the world, actually, wherever racism and hatred breed. Jesus Christ said, "Love one another, as I have loved you." That's the bottom line.
You've written a masterpiece. It could be made into a movie, easily. It should be made into a movie.
I really enjoyed the younger Fanny and Juniper present at their funerals. They seemed to enjoy it. And Tom falling on top of the grave was quite effective, too. Of course, he loved Fanny. But he was a great actor, too.
Isn't it something (I said to myself) that Fanny wanted the world to know this hooded bastard, so she had a statue sculpted, inviting passersby to toss eggs (or whatever) at this man of hate and prejudice... and all men of hate and prejudice. A tombstone is soon forgotten, overlooked, lost. The chiseled inscription will one day fade away with the weather... disappearing. Fanny didn't want that. Likely as not, Juniper didn't want it either. They wanted everyone to know the face of evil ... no hood to hide inside.
"The world won't soon forget you, Thurston Flourney
Although I'm sure you wish they would.
Eternity won't let you conceal your journey
'Neath that scraggly gunnysack'd hood."
Nicely penned, Jay! You never gave up on Juniper and Fanny. You stuck it out, just like that reporter.
High Five!
Kimbob
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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Hi Jay,
First of all, thank you for writing this play. I will never forget Fanny or Juniper, or the reporter for that matter. And when I think about them, I'll remember Thurston Flourney, and all the Thurston Flourneys out there across North America... around the world, actually, wherever racism and hatred breed. Jesus Christ said, "Love one another, as I have loved you." That's the bottom line.
You've written a masterpiece. It could be made into a movie, easily. It should be made into a movie.
I really enjoyed the younger Fanny and Juniper present at their funerals. They seemed to enjoy it. And Tom falling on top of the grave was quite effective, too. Of course, he loved Fanny. But he was a great actor, too.
Isn't it something (I said to myself) that Fanny wanted the world to know this hooded bastard, so she had a statue sculpted, inviting passersby to toss eggs (or whatever) at this man of hate and prejudice... and all men of hate and prejudice. A tombstone is soon forgotten, overlooked, lost. The chiseled inscription will one day fade away with the weather... disappearing. Fanny didn't want that. Likely as not, Juniper didn't want it either. They wanted everyone to know the face of evil ... no hood to hide inside.
"The world won't soon forget you, Thurston Flourney
Although I'm sure you wish they would.
Eternity won't let you conceal your journey
'Neath that scraggly gunnysack'd hood."
Nicely penned, Jay! You never gave up on Juniper and Fanny. You stuck it out, just like that reporter.
High Five!
Kimbob
Comment Written 26-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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Ohhhh, I accept your high-five with honor and humility, Kimbob. Rest assured this will not be a movie unless a producer comes over for dinner and asks what I do. I might show it to Ron Howard. He seems a nice enough guy. He could use a break. LOL, thank you, Kimbob for your continued support. Now it's off to a longish "autobiographical" story I'm anguishing over whether to run full-length, or in two chapters.
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Dish it out, Jay! Use a big spoon!
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
I am sad to see Fanny leave us, having only recently met her.
1st REPORTER: Should be a bold type to match the rest of the character designations.
10th MAPLES, s4: For consistency (FANNY AND) should be (FANNY and). Lower case (and), the way you reference the two of them together throughout the rest of the article.
10th MAPLES, s20: For consistency (joins Juniper) should be (joins JUNIPER) Upper cased (JUNIPER)
12th REPORTER: (...you were dead?) should be (...you were dead.) Is not a question.
Under BRIEF INTERMISSION
2nd REPORTER: Add a comma after (So)
6th REPORTER: (THE REPORTER) should be (the REPORTER) Lower case (the) again for consistency
What a fitting ending to an outrageous character like Fanny. Job well done.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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I am sad to see Fanny leave us, having only recently met her.
1st REPORTER: Should be a bold type to match the rest of the character designations.
10th MAPLES, s4: For consistency (FANNY AND) should be (FANNY and). Lower case (and), the way you reference the two of them together throughout the rest of the article.
10th MAPLES, s20: For consistency (joins Juniper) should be (joins JUNIPER) Upper cased (JUNIPER)
12th REPORTER: (...you were dead?) should be (...you were dead.) Is not a question.
Under BRIEF INTERMISSION
2nd REPORTER: Add a comma after (So)
6th REPORTER: (THE REPORTER) should be (the REPORTER) Lower case (the) again for consistency
What a fitting ending to an outrageous character like Fanny. Job well done.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Gary. I worked like the dickens to get that first "REPORTER" to be the same as the rest, but it always worked out the same. All the remaining inconsistencies ... well noted, sir. Thinking back, I'm really amazed there weren't more. But you do a fine job with your magnifying glass! Thank you, Sir!
Comment from judiverse
I like the send-off they gave Thurston Flourney. The poem and the caricature of him will forever remind people of what he was like. It seems like the poem encouraged people to deface his tombstone. Of course, he deserves it. Excellent image of Fanny at the end. Very effective staging. This has received so much acclaim on FanStory. I believe it would appeal to a sophisticated audience, like one would find in a large city. They would appreciate the issues you touch on, such as racial hatred and homosexuality. You really should try to get it produced. It wouldn't take much legwork on your part to contact a university theater department and they'd advise you on how to go about it. They might even be interested themselves. judi
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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I like the send-off they gave Thurston Flourney. The poem and the caricature of him will forever remind people of what he was like. It seems like the poem encouraged people to deface his tombstone. Of course, he deserves it. Excellent image of Fanny at the end. Very effective staging. This has received so much acclaim on FanStory. I believe it would appeal to a sophisticated audience, like one would find in a large city. They would appreciate the issues you touch on, such as racial hatred and homosexuality. You really should try to get it produced. It wouldn't take much legwork on your part to contact a university theater department and they'd advise you on how to go about it. They might even be interested themselves. judi
Comment Written 26-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2022
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I'll tell you a little about my background in seeking out Drama directors locally. I had a play I thought was quite good. Less flawed than this. (It's in my portfolio, but I don't think you were one of my readers then.) Anyway I called a local Junior College drama director and asked if she would take a look at it. She turned me down flat (Though with a socially acceptable tone), but without even looking at the first page of it! It just soured me on pursuing it further. But I tell you one thing ... I certainly respect your opinion and if you know anyone who knows anyone, I'd certainly consider approaching them. LOL. Thanks Judi for all your support and your lovely stars!
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I had some of my plays produced at a community college. I your case, I think you should go to the university closest to you, or an acting academy if you're close to one. Maybe send a copy of the script ahead of time. Maybe check with a community theater. judi
Comment from Douglas Goff
Me thinks that this isn't your first script. While it's vey long, it is also very interesting. I think that you have a solid peice of work here. Writers write, so keep on writing! Great job!
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Me thinks that this isn't your first script. While it's vey long, it is also very interesting. I think that you have a solid peice of work here. Writers write, so keep on writing! Great job!
Comment Written 26-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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No, Douglas, I have a few of them under my belt. But this one tired me a lot. Any plays in the future will probably be one-act. Thank you for weighing in.
Jay
Comment from Judy Lawless
Jay, I love the fact that the spirits of Fanny and Juniper are at the cemetery, listening in on the conversation, and revealing their thoughts through facial expressions. The dialogue between Robert and Tom is friendly and natural. And the ending, with Tom crying over the grave, discloses so much. Even Fanny seemed surprised. An excellent epilogue to this story! Well done. I think I'll miss Miss Fanny. :)
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Jay, I love the fact that the spirits of Fanny and Juniper are at the cemetery, listening in on the conversation, and revealing their thoughts through facial expressions. The dialogue between Robert and Tom is friendly and natural. And the ending, with Tom crying over the grave, discloses so much. Even Fanny seemed surprised. An excellent epilogue to this story! Well done. I think I'll miss Miss Fanny. :)
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Judy. A lot of people tell me they are going to miss her. But honestly, I'm enjoying my vacation away from her. LOL, Your six stars make me happy, especially after such a long ride with me.
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You are most welcome, Jay. :)
Comment from Ulla
Jay, what can I say. This is a finale with aplomb. I loved it as I have loved the whole script. You have given us a story to take with us, and one I will never forget. Your talent shines through all 21 parts.
I loved the poem, which just said it all.
How I will miss this. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Jay, what can I say. This is a finale with aplomb. I loved it as I have loved the whole script. You have given us a story to take with us, and one I will never forget. Your talent shines through all 21 parts.
I loved the poem, which just said it all.
How I will miss this. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Ulla, for your kind words and the six stars. I'm proud to have had you along for the entire series.
Jay
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Well done. A fitting ending for this great story. Love how you tied up everything with the poem at the end. A very poignant and emotional read. So well done.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Well done. A fitting ending for this great story. Love how you tied up everything with the poem at the end. A very poignant and emotional read. So well done.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Now you can see why I don't write poetry, LOL. Thanks, Tim, for catching most of them and being so generous with your rating. I'm really humbled.
Comment from lyenochka
Superb finish, Jay! So proud of you to keep with it and give us an ending that is satisfying in an artistic way. How much better is this to remember Flourney as the despicable person he was as a warning to all who see the statue. That makes much more sense than toppling statues of once-revered heroes. Congrats on the whole work!!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Superb finish, Jay! So proud of you to keep with it and give us an ending that is satisfying in an artistic way. How much better is this to remember Flourney as the despicable person he was as a warning to all who see the statue. That makes much more sense than toppling statues of once-revered heroes. Congrats on the whole work!!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you so very, very much, Helen. I am moved by your words. So thrilled that you saw design in the entirety. You make me very happy!
Jay