Peregrination of Bin Eleven
a novel chapter 2000 words17 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
Your first chapter is exciting and informative. This sounds like the beginning of a most interesting story. The chapter is rather long, but I can see where it needed to be to cover all that needed to be done. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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Your first chapter is exciting and informative. This sounds like the beginning of a most interesting story. The chapter is rather long, but I can see where it needed to be to cover all that needed to be done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2022
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The requirements dictated a two-thousand-word chapter. I first posted with about three-hundred words. I added for two days to reach what you read. Thank you for the positive review.
Comment from royowen
I've always been fond of science fiction, so this is something that would be interesting, but the problems with nuclear weapons being unleashed the planet may not survive that Holocaust. Beautifully written Bill, good luck, blessings Roy.
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2022
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I've always been fond of science fiction, so this is something that would be interesting, but the problems with nuclear weapons being unleashed the planet may not survive that Holocaust. Beautifully written Bill, good luck, blessings Roy.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 24-Sep-2022
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Thanks, Roy, for giving this a look.
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Most welcome Bill.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I am not into Sci-fi at all, but this contest entry is filled with great descriptions, plot, and characters. I can't wait for you to continue this novel. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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I am not into Sci-fi at all, but this contest entry is filled with great descriptions, plot, and characters. I can't wait for you to continue this novel. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Barbara
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Bill,
This is an extraordinary first chapter.
Your detailed descriptions and characters are unique and cause the reader to want to delve further into this strange, fictional world. I especially love the way you describe out earth.
Good luck in the contest, Bill.
Excellent beginning.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2022
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Bill,
This is an extraordinary first chapter.
Your detailed descriptions and characters are unique and cause the reader to want to delve further into this strange, fictional world. I especially love the way you describe out earth.
Good luck in the contest, Bill.
Excellent beginning.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 22-Sep-2022
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Still building, Cindy. I posted it too short, so I've been building to 2000 words.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bill, I'm not into sci-fi at all, but I can see that you have a good grip on this story. It's quite scary in its way.
I can't be sure, but is it really 2000 words? Good luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Hi Bill, I'm not into sci-fi at all, but I can see that you have a good grip on this story. It's quite scary in its way.
I can't be sure, but is it really 2000 words? Good luck in the contest. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 21-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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I entered it at three hundred words and am trying to put in the rest. I?m at 1200 now.
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Go for it. I started to write for the contest, but gave up.
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I entered it at three hundred words and am trying to put in the rest. I?m at 1200 now.
Comment from BethShelby
This is going to be a horror story for sure. These cybernetic beings in humanoid form still seem to need to be able to breath. It seem not many real humans remain in existence, so I'm not sure who the reader will be able to identify with enough to read further. I think we need a protagonist in the first chapter. Maybe it will be the one these two creatures are asking whether to eliminate or to save. BIn Eleven doesn't seem like someone who is going to be the heroine in this scary story. Still this is good writing and in may find a following with science fiction fans.
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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This is going to be a horror story for sure. These cybernetic beings in humanoid form still seem to need to be able to breath. It seem not many real humans remain in existence, so I'm not sure who the reader will be able to identify with enough to read further. I think we need a protagonist in the first chapter. Maybe it will be the one these two creatures are asking whether to eliminate or to save. BIn Eleven doesn't seem like someone who is going to be the heroine in this scary story. Still this is good writing and in may find a following with science fiction fans.
Comment Written 21-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Thank you for weighing in on this piece, Beth.
Bin Eleven will be the human protagonist. She is the one with the protective suit. The android, 888, simply monitors the atmosphere to ensure the human can survive.
The story, this chapter, is still evolving, as I posted it at 230 words, only to be reminded it has to be a minimum of two thousand. It's only a seven hundred now.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This chapter of the novel is introductorily expressive and interesting to read; fast, forward is the plot development, realistic the character and the dialogues; positive and responsive is the ending; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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This chapter of the novel is introductorily expressive and interesting to read; fast, forward is the plot development, realistic the character and the dialogues; positive and responsive is the ending; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)
Comment Written 21-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Thanks, ALD
Comment from nomi338
You cannot keep a good man down. It does not matter what type of world may exist. There is that one guy who is tougher than all the rest. Too ignorant to die, to mean to even stay injured fr a very long time. Like the Times watch, he takes a licking and just keeps right on ticking.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2022
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You cannot keep a good man down. It does not matter what type of world may exist. There is that one guy who is tougher than all the rest. Too ignorant to die, to mean to even stay injured fr a very long time. Like the Times watch, he takes a licking and just keeps right on ticking.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2022
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The guy you want in a fox hoke with you.
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Exactly. I wish I could spell. Timex watch. You know Bill, when I was writing my review, I kinda' thought of you, then I said "Naw. Not that chicken." Just kidding. :))
Comment from judiverse
Lots of great stuff in this. It's very intense and has excellent description. There has been great devastation. Bin Eleven is going to be an interesting character. I feel that Gort from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" is at work in this! This does leave the reader wondering what will happen next. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2022
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Lots of great stuff in this. It's very intense and has excellent description. There has been great devastation. Bin Eleven is going to be an interesting character. I feel that Gort from "The Day the Earth Stood Still" is at work in this! This does leave the reader wondering what will happen next. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 20-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Judi. I'm still building this, as I forgot it had to be 2000 words. It will be eventually.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A chilling write about man's power to be destructive and make war their priority when living in peace is much preferred. The more knowledge we gain to more effective we have become at destroying the earth. A poignant write Bill, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2022
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A chilling write about man's power to be destructive and make war their priority when living in peace is much preferred. The more knowledge we gain to more effective we have become at destroying the earth. A poignant write Bill, love Dolly x
Comment Written 20-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Dolly
