The Best Time of Ohmie's Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Best Time of Ohmie's Life pt 10"Dying of cancer, Ohmie learns his parents are spie
9 total reviews
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This an interesting chapter as his parents seem to be getting along without arguing. It's sad the Ohmie knows he hasn't long to live. Heading off to read the next part of the story.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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This an interesting chapter as his parents seem to be getting along without arguing. It's sad the Ohmie knows he hasn't long to live. Heading off to read the next part of the story.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
It's a little bit defeating to interpret a general sense of resignment to Ohmie's fate. You know, "treatments not working," "missed two appointments", "don't have to go back." It sounds like Ohmie has very little time left.
P8, s2: (SUGGEST change business to businesses
P9, s4: (six five) should be (six-five) Hyphen
P12, s1: (mute,) should be (mute;) semicolon
P13, s2: (industrial strength) should be (industrial-strength) marked by more than usual power, durability, or intensity. Industrial-strength boots
an industrial-strength voice.
After +++
P4, s3: (on line) should be (online) one word
P4, s4: SUGGEST inserting (and) before (she and Dad)
A good, slow, catch-up kind of chapter. Give Ohmie a breather already.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2022
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It's a little bit defeating to interpret a general sense of resignment to Ohmie's fate. You know, "treatments not working," "missed two appointments", "don't have to go back." It sounds like Ohmie has very little time left.
P8, s2: (SUGGEST change business to businesses
P9, s4: (six five) should be (six-five) Hyphen
P12, s1: (mute,) should be (mute;) semicolon
P13, s2: (industrial strength) should be (industrial-strength) marked by more than usual power, durability, or intensity. Industrial-strength boots
an industrial-strength voice.
After +++
P4, s3: (on line) should be (online) one word
P4, s4: SUGGEST inserting (and) before (she and Dad)
A good, slow, catch-up kind of chapter. Give Ohmie a breather already.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2022
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Thank you, as always.
The next chapter will have a different kind of action
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I appreciate the summation at the beginning as I haven't been able to read all of the chapters.
I also liked that you slowed the story down a little while setting the scene for what comes next.
The family that spy's together, stays together, eh?
Nice chapter, Wayne.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2022
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I appreciate the summation at the beginning as I haven't been able to read all of the chapters.
I also liked that you slowed the story down a little while setting the scene for what comes next.
The family that spy's together, stays together, eh?
Nice chapter, Wayne.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Wendy G
A fine chapter, a bit less action, which was better for Ohmie. And helpful with the regrouping of the killings and the jump drive. I would never be able to do that kind of work, with all the double and treble crossing activities!! It would do my head in! Glad you can manage to keep all the threads together!
Wendy
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2022
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A fine chapter, a bit less action, which was better for Ohmie. And helpful with the regrouping of the killings and the jump drive. I would never be able to do that kind of work, with all the double and treble crossing activities!! It would do my head in! Glad you can manage to keep all the threads together!
Wendy
Comment Written 19-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This chapter is slower moving, giving Ohmie some time to rest, and his parents some time alone. I like that you summed up what had happened with Viktor and the flash drive. It was easier to follow, but I wonder who the bad guys are. lol Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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This chapter is slower moving, giving Ohmie some time to rest, and his parents some time alone. I like that you summed up what had happened with Viktor and the flash drive. It was easier to follow, but I wonder who the bad guys are. lol Well done.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Their wonder, as well.
Thank you for the review.
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Yes, it would appear so. You?re most welcome, Wayne.
Comment from Michaela Moore
Wayne, only my humble opinion, but this is the best chapter yet. Thank you for all your time and effort you took in crafting this one. It hits so many marks and twists my emotions around like a roller coaster...in a good, cathartic way. Just when the chapter is getting too sad and hard to handle and you hit us with humor. ("Now, would you please take off that bra?") Perfection: the humor is so funny and touching and done brilliantly. It come naturally because of the time you have taken to sculpt all of these characters for us. Then again you continue to build the mystery and suspense while all the time continuing to show the familial love that is magical here. And you continue to salt the entire meal with the salt of golden humor. This chapter is engaging and touching and I now care so deeply about these characters. They have become so real to me. Better than a TV show or a movie. This is a masterpiece in the making.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Wayne, only my humble opinion, but this is the best chapter yet. Thank you for all your time and effort you took in crafting this one. It hits so many marks and twists my emotions around like a roller coaster...in a good, cathartic way. Just when the chapter is getting too sad and hard to handle and you hit us with humor. ("Now, would you please take off that bra?") Perfection: the humor is so funny and touching and done brilliantly. It come naturally because of the time you have taken to sculpt all of these characters for us. Then again you continue to build the mystery and suspense while all the time continuing to show the familial love that is magical here. And you continue to salt the entire meal with the salt of golden humor. This chapter is engaging and touching and I now care so deeply about these characters. They have become so real to me. Better than a TV show or a movie. This is a masterpiece in the making.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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What a fabulous tribute. Thank you. And thank you for the stars.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Reader-friendly idea to group the chapters together, thanks. Now I can work out what I misunderstood about the jump-drive, and why. Nothing much seemed to happen here, except you are obviously building up to a cataclysmic volcano eruption or something... Well done. Kate xx
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Reader-friendly idea to group the chapters together, thanks. Now I can work out what I misunderstood about the jump-drive, and why. Nothing much seemed to happen here, except you are obviously building up to a cataclysmic volcano eruption or something... Well done. Kate xx
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you.
My thought was to let readers get to know Mom a little bit more.
Yes, I think only Tolkien can do cataclysm in every chapter.
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Cataclysm in every chapter is too exhausting I think. (maybe that's why I don't like Tolkein)
Comment from Susan Newell
Wayne,
I am enjoying the arrival and actions of Ohmie's mother. There are so many levels to this story and Ohmie's unanswered questions and confusions lend well to the meaning of the story. I have a sense that we are approaching a wrap-up. Well done, again.
Sue
"Who cared if I became addicted," I thought. The antiemetics were for when I got nauseous. -- commonly confused ==> nauseated
You should've seen Mom's face when the sales attendant suggested a slightly larger size that I could grow into. I'm not sure if she wanted to cry or kill him, or both, and just not sure about the order. -- ten stars
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Wayne,
I am enjoying the arrival and actions of Ohmie's mother. There are so many levels to this story and Ohmie's unanswered questions and confusions lend well to the meaning of the story. I have a sense that we are approaching a wrap-up. Well done, again.
Sue
"Who cared if I became addicted," I thought. The antiemetics were for when I got nauseous. -- commonly confused ==> nauseated
You should've seen Mom's face when the sales attendant suggested a slightly larger size that I could grow into. I'm not sure if she wanted to cry or kill him, or both, and just not sure about the order. -- ten stars
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you!!!!!! x10!
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:-) I'm sympathetic to Ohmie.
Comment from Crystal McNeil
What a great read! It makes me want to read a lot more. I really like how you captured the awkwardness and urgency of the situations they were in. Very well written.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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What a great read! It makes me want to read a lot more. I really like how you captured the awkwardness and urgency of the situations they were in. Very well written.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2022
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Thank you!
