One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 123 "Do You Hear My Tears?"Gypsy's Favorites
22 total reviews
Comment from Mark Schardine
A true nonet sharpens its focus until it reaches the most important one word at the end, the one word that gave the main idea for the entire poem. You succeeded brilliantly here.
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2022
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A true nonet sharpens its focus until it reaches the most important one word at the end, the one word that gave the main idea for the entire poem. You succeeded brilliantly here.
Comment Written 17-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 17-Sep-2022
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Thank you very much for the exceptional six stars review, you are very kind.
Gypsy
"hand over the chocolate and nobody will get hurt."
Comment from June Sargent
This is a beautiful nonet that tugs at the heartstrings- lovers separated by distance. Tears reflecting the pain. Great imagery and lovely presentation. I enjoyed this piece.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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This is a beautiful nonet that tugs at the heartstrings- lovers separated by distance. Tears reflecting the pain. Great imagery and lovely presentation. I enjoyed this piece.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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Thank you very much, June. I appreciate that you took the time to read my poem. I'm grateful for the exceptional six stars review.
Gypsy
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your nonet is excellent in every respect: skillfully composed, creative, and moving--so expressive of deep love and intense longing, deepened by the quiet and darkness of night.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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Your nonet is excellent in every respect: skillfully composed, creative, and moving--so expressive of deep love and intense longing, deepened by the quiet and darkness of night.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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Thank you very much, Janice. I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem. Have a wonderful day.
Gypsy
"Every sunset brings the promise of a new dawn." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Comment from Wendy G
A fine entry for the Nonet contest, and an excellent presentation. Your words flow very well, and present a vivid picture of lovers separated. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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A fine entry for the Nonet contest, and an excellent presentation. Your words flow very well, and present a vivid picture of lovers separated. Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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Thank you very much, Wendy. I appreciate that you took the time to read and review my poem. Have a wonderful day.
Gypsy
"Every sunset brings the promise of a new dawn." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Comment from dragonpoet
MariVal,
This is a well done nonet which seems to discuss the difficulty and doubt that occurs with a long distance relationship.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joaon
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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MariVal,
This is a well done nonet which seems to discuss the difficulty and doubt that occurs with a long distance relationship.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joaon
Comment Written 13-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Joan. This is a very sad poem... I was in a mood. Have a wonderful day.
MariVal (*=*) xoxoxo
Comment from Marienkiefer
Your poem: Cinematic. Explosive. Emotional.
Your poem is a slow burn.
Distant love is love. It has a strange mix, perhaps, of expectations-no expectations; expecting-not expecting, requiring a kinetic energy to move something and propel forward, but also inner willingness, the fire that lights.
Sparkling in your lines:
-Excellent word choices to convey these live emotions.
-Beds are burning, the red mood. Passion of distant love.
-It suggests some sort of battle or opposition going on for which strength is required.
-Very effective your question at the end: seemingly bridging the gap between thought and heart's-mind.
The nucleus of the strength of your writing is the imagery.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Your poem: Cinematic. Explosive. Emotional.
Your poem is a slow burn.
Distant love is love. It has a strange mix, perhaps, of expectations-no expectations; expecting-not expecting, requiring a kinetic energy to move something and propel forward, but also inner willingness, the fire that lights.
Sparkling in your lines:
-Excellent word choices to convey these live emotions.
-Beds are burning, the red mood. Passion of distant love.
-It suggests some sort of battle or opposition going on for which strength is required.
-Very effective your question at the end: seemingly bridging the gap between thought and heart's-mind.
The nucleus of the strength of your writing is the imagery.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
"Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures." -- Jackson Brown Jr.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
There seems to be a lot of drama and emotion with this contest entry. It's beautifully written and I enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing this entry with us and I wish you the best of luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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There seems to be a lot of drama and emotion with this contest entry. It's beautifully written and I enjoyed reading. Thank you for sharing this entry with us and I wish you the best of luck with the contest.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
"Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures." -- Jackson Brown Jr.
Comment from estory
Nice job with the meter here, creating drama and emotion out of the voice. I liked how the poem wound in on itself and the lines got smaller as the distance seemed to grow between lovers. I also thought that line about hearing tears was terrific. Very original, and it really captures this feeling of not getting across to another person your own inner emotions. It's like you are feeling the pain and they are not. Very poignant. estory
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Nice job with the meter here, creating drama and emotion out of the voice. I liked how the poem wound in on itself and the lines got smaller as the distance seemed to grow between lovers. I also thought that line about hearing tears was terrific. Very original, and it really captures this feeling of not getting across to another person your own inner emotions. It's like you are feeling the pain and they are not. Very poignant. estory
Comment Written 13-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and exceptional six stars review. I appreciate your detailed and kind feedback.
Gypsy
"Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures." -- Jackson Brown Jr.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A very haunting and beautifully written Nonet. The mourning of lost love comes through in each line.
Beautifully presented to enhance your words.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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A very haunting and beautifully written Nonet. The mourning of lost love comes through in each line.
Beautifully presented to enhance your words.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 13-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
"Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures." -- Jackson Brown Jr.
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was very emotional. The angst of mourning a love that may be lost can be felt in each line. The harvest moon bleeding line was very evocative. Very vivid. As if the universe has somehow changed because of the "distance" between the lovers hearts. Very moving.
Gretchen
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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This was very emotional. The angst of mourning a love that may be lost can be felt in each line. The harvest moon bleeding line was very evocative. Very vivid. As if the universe has somehow changed because of the "distance" between the lovers hearts. Very moving.
Gretchen
Comment Written 13-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2022
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Thank you very much for your time and kind review and helpfull feedback.
Gypsy
"Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures." -- Jackson Brown Jr.
