Suri's Last Day
(A Sonnet)5 total reviews
Comment from Aiona
What a cute poem! Except the dying part. I'm glad to read Suri's still alive. One of my cats could have been the poster child for this poem, though. :( We lived by a highway at that time. I love poems that rhyme!
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What a cute poem! Except the dying part. I'm glad to read Suri's still alive. One of my cats could have been the poster child for this poem, though. :( We lived by a highway at that time. I love poems that rhyme!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2022
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Now there is a belly that needs some rubbing. I don't know how they do it but somehow cats manage to get themselves in all kinds of trouble and still come out kicking. Thus, the nine lives thing.
Pretty kitty, cute poem
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Now there is a belly that needs some rubbing. I don't know how they do it but somehow cats manage to get themselves in all kinds of trouble and still come out kicking. Thus, the nine lives thing.
Pretty kitty, cute poem
Comment Written 10-Sep-2022
Comment from Tom Horonzy
You have a wild side to you that runs amok, haven't you, much like the feline friend you have written of? All it needs is an accompanying picture.
I also, read the last line differently "Not knowing it was the last day I'd see" leaving me to further chuckle about a knuckled-headed cat that should have learned its mistakes in losing eight lives previously.
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You have a wild side to you that runs amok, haven't you, much like the feline friend you have written of? All it needs is an accompanying picture.
I also, read the last line differently "Not knowing it was the last day I'd see" leaving me to further chuckle about a knuckled-headed cat that should have learned its mistakes in losing eight lives previously.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2022
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi Bremy,
This sounds like a cat, from first to last. Drinking toilet water is only one of the strange things they do.
This reminds us that sometimes we do insane things do to curiosity and daring. We never know when life will end, but we must find a balance in life.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
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Hi Bremy,
This sounds like a cat, from first to last. Drinking toilet water is only one of the strange things they do.
This reminds us that sometimes we do insane things do to curiosity and daring. We never know when life will end, but we must find a balance in life.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 10-Sep-2022
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Traditionally am sonnet has ABAB rhyming. The first two lines have feminine endings Eugene, so that need to have 11 syllables for a true iambic metre.
I suggest:
To live this last life with (a) wild abandon,
As previous(ly) eight (were) lost at random.
I'd throw (all) caution to the wind-- begin
I would pay mind to your metre here Eugene as you are entering the world of sonnets, I adored the sentiments,
love Dolly x
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2022
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Traditionally am sonnet has ABAB rhyming. The first two lines have feminine endings Eugene, so that need to have 11 syllables for a true iambic metre.
I suggest:
To live this last life with (a) wild abandon,
As previous(ly) eight (were) lost at random.
I'd throw (all) caution to the wind-- begin
I would pay mind to your metre here Eugene as you are entering the world of sonnets, I adored the sentiments,
love Dolly x
Comment Written 10-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 10-Sep-2022
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Dolly,
Thank you for the suggestions. I've made the changes. Writing iambic metre is still my Achilles heel.
Cheers,
Eugene
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You are doing a great job Eugene x x x
