Beth
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Beth, Scene 3"Hostage? Maybe. Scared? Slightly. Victim? Never!
10 total reviews
Comment from Michaela Moore
Full of such delicious surprises! First, the fact that you have her in the "chair" is great! I didn't see that coming! And then the end. No one saw that sweet treat coming! Excellent my friend. Excellent. I just wish their conversation was more. It seems not quite done. cooked. But what do I know? Just something I was feeling while reading. By scene 3 I am just ready to dig a little deeper into what might actually be happening. But your talents far outstretch mine so...???
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Full of such delicious surprises! First, the fact that you have her in the "chair" is great! I didn't see that coming! And then the end. No one saw that sweet treat coming! Excellent my friend. Excellent. I just wish their conversation was more. It seems not quite done. cooked. But what do I know? Just something I was feeling while reading. By scene 3 I am just ready to dig a little deeper into what might actually be happening. But your talents far outstretch mine so...???
Comment Written 10-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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You're quite right to be questioning, my friend, and it?s all fair. This is very much first draft material - I scribbled these scenes and posted them. If it becomes something with real body, I expect I'll be fiddling with it :-).
Mike
Comment from Cindy Warren
This guy is nuts. This story is a promising psychological thriller. Beth is probably not what he wants. Nobody is. I don't think what he wants exists.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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This guy is nuts. This story is a promising psychological thriller. Beth is probably not what he wants. Nobody is. I don't think what he wants exists.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the insightful words - I've got a rough outline for where this is going but have plenty of room to develop characters still!
Mike
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Wow, differing opinions more sacred than truth. Is that day really coming?
At PREVIOUSLY:
2nd sentence: Remove comma after (therapist) A comma is not recommended when the subject has two verbs. (having a conversation) and (tries to get)
3rd & 4th sentences: SUGGEST (one) instead of (1) and (two) instead of (2) A general rule is: Spell out numbers below 10. Numerals should be used for numbers 10 and above, but numbers nine and below should be spelled out.
6th Dennis, 5th sentence: Remove comma after (believe) A comma is not recommended when the subject has two verbs. (find) and (being)
6th Dennis, 5th sentence: Remove comma after (out) same as above.
Dark, Mr Flump, very dark. What happens next?
Very intricate in thought and presentation requiring deep concentration on the part of the reader, who still winds up with little to no answers.
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Wow, differing opinions more sacred than truth. Is that day really coming?
At PREVIOUSLY:
2nd sentence: Remove comma after (therapist) A comma is not recommended when the subject has two verbs. (having a conversation) and (tries to get)
3rd & 4th sentences: SUGGEST (one) instead of (1) and (two) instead of (2) A general rule is: Spell out numbers below 10. Numerals should be used for numbers 10 and above, but numbers nine and below should be spelled out.
6th Dennis, 5th sentence: Remove comma after (believe) A comma is not recommended when the subject has two verbs. (find) and (being)
6th Dennis, 5th sentence: Remove comma after (out) same as above.
Dark, Mr Flump, very dark. What happens next?
Very intricate in thought and presentation requiring deep concentration on the part of the reader, who still winds up with little to no answers.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Sep-2022
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Thanks Gary! This one's very much seat-of-my-pants, which is fun and lets me change direction as I go, but does mean I'll have to come back once it's finished to ensure I haven;t left any threads hanging!
Mike
Comment from lyenochka
Wow, this has suddenly gotten very deep and even more philosophical than Waiting for Godot. It's become a much more psychological play where we don't know exactly what is real and what is in the mind of Beth or Dennis. I particularly liked how Dennis urged Beth to reach out to her "little self" and discover that time of innocence and joy. The lack of that seems to be part of her mental prison.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Wow, this has suddenly gotten very deep and even more philosophical than Waiting for Godot. It's become a much more psychological play where we don't know exactly what is real and what is in the mind of Beth or Dennis. I particularly liked how Dennis urged Beth to reach out to her "little self" and discover that time of innocence and joy. The lack of that seems to be part of her mental prison.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thanks so much, Helen :-). I'd been thinking of different ways to take this, and in deciding this route, gave myself the opportunity for a 'rug pull' moment. I have a rough plan set out now so hopefully shorter gaps between scenes :-)
Mike
Comment from royowen
Just love this, you've created a marvellous scene, and then perhaps recreated reality. I love the manipulative affect that virtual reality can create, and the whole script was wonderfully written My friend blessings Roy
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Just love this, you've created a marvellous scene, and then perhaps recreated reality. I love the manipulative affect that virtual reality can create, and the whole script was wonderfully written My friend blessings Roy
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Roy. What a wonderful review :-).
Mike
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A pleasurev
Comment from Judy Lawless
You've given us a lot to think about in this scene, with each character trying to analyse the other. Then the scene switches, confirming Beth is indeed in a dungeon, not an office. Very interesting and well written.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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You've given us a lot to think about in this scene, with each character trying to analyse the other. Then the scene switches, confirming Beth is indeed in a dungeon, not an office. Very interesting and well written.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Judy :-). She's done her best to think her way out of her situation, but she may need a new approach now ...
Mike
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You?re most welcome, Mike. I?d almost forgotten about this story! :)
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Once again, this is very good. I really enjoyed reading this. I always try to figure out plots as I read, and you have me completely buffaloed.
inane conversation (Inane was new to me. I had to look it up. Thank you for the new word.)
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Once again, this is very good. I really enjoyed reading this. I always try to figure out plots as I read, and you have me completely buffaloed.
inane conversation (Inane was new to me. I had to look it up. Thank you for the new word.)
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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I do love a good 'rug pull' moment and I saw the opportunity to sneak one in here. Thanks so much for the awesome review, Barbara :-).
Mike
Comment from John Ciarmello
I'm so happy you've returned with this one, Mike. The way this scene played out to me is, one is rerouted into asking who the detainee is. I don't know if it is simply my perception, but it worked quite well in my tiny mind. The hanger was brilliant and answered the question of who, but left all the right questions unanswered. Loved it! Best, JohnC.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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I'm so happy you've returned with this one, Mike. The way this scene played out to me is, one is rerouted into asking who the detainee is. I don't know if it is simply my perception, but it worked quite well in my tiny mind. The hanger was brilliant and answered the question of who, but left all the right questions unanswered. Loved it! Best, JohnC.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thanks, John :-). It's been bubbling away in the back of my mind for the last couple of weeks so I was definitely ready to continue. I like playing with perceptions - especially of control - and this story gives me space to do that!
Mike
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
What a truly psychological thriller. I loved the disintegration of Beth's perceived reality - to reveal something even worse. This has been a terrible start to my week. All the sixes, which this is well-worthy of, have gone already. I am going to have to be much more careful henceforth (or read less FS stuff). Kate xx
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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What a truly psychological thriller. I loved the disintegration of Beth's perceived reality - to reveal something even worse. This has been a terrible start to my week. All the sixes, which this is well-worthy of, have gone already. I am going to have to be much more careful henceforth (or read less FS stuff). Kate xx
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thanks so much, Kate :-). I find it varies wildly with my sixes - I either have a few left at the end of the week or use them all by Monday! So glad you enjoyed this entry.
Mike
Comment from papa55mike
I see that your lead character has learned her only way out is to keep lashing out. What a wonderfully written piece. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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I see that your lead character has learned her only way out is to keep lashing out. What a wonderfully written piece. Best of luck with your writing!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thank you - I'm really glad you liked it :-)
Mike
