ISO Soundproof Apartment
good neighbors6 total reviews
Comment from K. Olsen
Thank you for the laugh. An excellent use of 80 words, not a single one out of place. I really enjoyed this and the last few lines were the best. Tip of the hat for the Victor Hugo reference.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the laugh. An excellent use of 80 words, not a single one out of place. I really enjoyed this and the last few lines were the best. Tip of the hat for the Victor Hugo reference.
Comment Written 10-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi, Aiona,
You told a complete story in 80 words. It is sad that the writer committed suicide. I guess the narrator was hearing here neighbor arguing for or against killing herself not one of her characters.
Joan
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Hi, Aiona,
You told a complete story in 80 words. It is sad that the writer committed suicide. I guess the narrator was hearing here neighbor arguing for or against killing herself not one of her characters.
Joan
Comment Written 06-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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LOL! Thanks for the review, Joan! It's funny how differently people interpret the story. Ack! I don't know if I've done a good job or a bad job with that!
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You're welcome, Aiona. I just guessed she lived alone. But she could have killed her husband. Maybe he was mistreating her.
Joan
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow, this is a good one for the eighty-word flash-fiction. Eighty words is not very much to establish scene and the rudiments of a plot. But you did it well. I have a little trouble with the "Watch your coffee," but the message came through very well. Good luck, Aiona!
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Wow, this is a good one for the eighty-word flash-fiction. Eighty words is not very much to establish scene and the rudiments of a plot. But you did it well. I have a little trouble with the "Watch your coffee," but the message came through very well. Good luck, Aiona!
Comment Written 05-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the review, Jay. And 5-stars? Really? Okay, I'll take it. I find it interesting that Joan had a different take on the outcome than I intended. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing!
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Guess she will shoot a pistol at her wall. It's an unusual story. It made me feel as if I were walking into a story that had already started. You did a lot with 80 words. It left me wanting more. The visual is just okay.
Making the story's text larger would help your readers. Good luck in the contest if it has not been assessed.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Guess she will shoot a pistol at her wall. It's an unusual story. It made me feel as if I were walking into a story that had already started. You did a lot with 80 words. It left me wanting more. The visual is just okay.
Making the story's text larger would help your readers. Good luck in the contest if it has not been assessed.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the review, Sandra. I will make the text larger too. I will work on the visual.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your contest entry read well, Aiona. You told a great little
story in the few words as required. I could see everything as
I read. I liked the art choice and the characters, good dialogue,
too. The twist at the end was set up nicely.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Your contest entry read well, Aiona. You told a great little
story in the few words as required. I could see everything as
I read. I liked the art choice and the characters, good dialogue,
too. The twist at the end was set up nicely.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 05-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the review, Jan. So far, one person thinks she shot the wall. One person thinks she committed suicide. I'm curious what YOU thought the twist was at the end. I guess I wrote the ending too ambiguously! So I'm left pondering if I should clarify the ending. Or just leave it be, at this point. Not sure whether the structure of flash fiction includes that it must have an absolutely clear ending.
Comment from Regina Elliott
Superb flash fiction with a
painting that is masterful.
Bravo to you both. I wish you
best of luck in the contest
with this worthy contender.
Have a creative week. All
the best. ~
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Superb flash fiction with a
painting that is masterful.
Bravo to you both. I wish you
best of luck in the contest
with this worthy contender.
Have a creative week. All
the best. ~
Comment Written 05-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2022
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Thank you for your review, Regina. It's so funny, that some readers think I painted a good visual, and some do not. Oh well! Writers gotta write, no matter what. Right?
