The Best Time of Ohmie's Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Best Time of Ohmie's Life pt 6"Dying of cancer, Ohmie learns his parents are spie
9 total reviews
Comment from Michaela Moore
Oh, my friend, I don't know enough about this site (being here only a month) or any kind of publishing. All I know is I LOVE this story and these characters and don't want to miss a single word. So keep me informed of what you decide. This chapter is another great peg in an exceptional piece of fictional bliss! (By the way, I did download your free Kindle offer of Author's Pique and am enjoying it immensely. Thank you so much for giving us the information and the opportunity.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2022
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Oh, my friend, I don't know enough about this site (being here only a month) or any kind of publishing. All I know is I LOVE this story and these characters and don't want to miss a single word. So keep me informed of what you decide. This chapter is another great peg in an exceptional piece of fictional bliss! (By the way, I did download your free Kindle offer of Author's Pique and am enjoying it immensely. Thank you so much for giving us the information and the opportunity.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2022
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Thank you! I read your review to my wife and we are both peacock proud.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is another well-written, and interesting chapter, Wayne. I definitely would like to read it all, but I often have too much on my plate to keep up with the postings on here. I would be happy to read it at my leisure, either on Kindle or you can send it by email if that is what is preferred.
One little typo: "thinking about all the other places I(I'd) never be back to,"
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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This is another well-written, and interesting chapter, Wayne. I definitely would like to read it all, but I often have too much on my plate to keep up with the postings on here. I would be happy to read it at my leisure, either on Kindle or you can send it by email if that is what is preferred.
One little typo: "thinking about all the other places I(I'd) never be back to,"
Comment Written 31-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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My email is- sparky72651@yahoo.com
send me a note and I'll attach it.
Thank you for the great review and the six stars, by-the-way!
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You?re welcome, Wayne. I?ll send you a note.
Comment from Wendy G
Hi Wayne,
I have become quite interested in this set of stories, and would be happy to receive it by email. I don't have a Kindle device, (and find it awkward ordering from Amazon, they always have trouble with my account details).
I enjoyed this one again, and send you best wishes for the continuation.
Wendy
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Hi Wayne,
I have become quite interested in this set of stories, and would be happy to receive it by email. I don't have a Kindle device, (and find it awkward ordering from Amazon, they always have trouble with my account details).
I enjoyed this one again, and send you best wishes for the continuation.
Wendy
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Thank you.
The responses to my question, as you would expect, are all over the place, on both sides; do/don't, longer posts/go ahead and take all year, Kindle it/no Kindle bc that hurts chances of getting published.
Here is my email- sparky72651@yahoo.com
Send yours and I'll attach the story - and welcome any feedback/critique either periodically, or after your read. That would be awesome.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Enjoyed this of course as always. None of your solutions for release of the story are ideal to me. I suppose let it take its own time of FS is the least bd of a bad bunch.
I can understand that if you are dying, there may be a tendency to refer to this frequently. But to me it detracts a bit from the immediate threats of adventure-reated death threats. Kate xx
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Enjoyed this of course as always. None of your solutions for release of the story are ideal to me. I suppose let it take its own time of FS is the least bd of a bad bunch.
I can understand that if you are dying, there may be a tendency to refer to this frequently. But to me it detracts a bit from the immediate threats of adventure-reated death threats. Kate xx
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the review.
Yes, It's a fine line as to reminding readers of his condition. What I don't like is for injured or sick heroes to preform as it they are not, willy-nilly. My goal is to compound the drama of the action with his condition. Again, the fine line.
Thanks again.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Personally, I prefer you continue submitting like this. I know it will take longer, but I think it will get read more.
Para 1, 4th sentence: Add (and was) between (shooting,) and (surprised)
Para 1, 11th sentence: (reconned) should be (reckoned)
Para 2, 2nd sentence: (real) should be (really)
Para 4, 6th sentence: (laying) should be (lying)
Para 13, 1st sentence: (Ukranian) should be (Ukrainian) Similar to what you have in Para 12, 1st sentence: (Ukraine)
I don't know if this second part of the post is part of your submission or not, different font, different size, different formatting. But I reviewed it anyway.
1st sentence (prodigy?) should be (prodigy.)
11th sentence: (Kiev) should be (Kyiv)
14th sentence: Insert (would) between (I) and (never)
If Ohmie dies off in this story what will happen to caveman Ohmie?
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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Personally, I prefer you continue submitting like this. I know it will take longer, but I think it will get read more.
Para 1, 4th sentence: Add (and was) between (shooting,) and (surprised)
Para 1, 11th sentence: (reconned) should be (reckoned)
Para 2, 2nd sentence: (real) should be (really)
Para 4, 6th sentence: (laying) should be (lying)
Para 13, 1st sentence: (Ukranian) should be (Ukrainian) Similar to what you have in Para 12, 1st sentence: (Ukraine)
I don't know if this second part of the post is part of your submission or not, different font, different size, different formatting. But I reviewed it anyway.
1st sentence (prodigy?) should be (prodigy.)
11th sentence: (Kiev) should be (Kyiv)
14th sentence: Insert (would) between (I) and (never)
If Ohmie dies off in this story what will happen to caveman Ohmie?
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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I was away when I learned that FanStory had botched the post. It was NOT like that when I left home. (I check it in read, and then check it in edit modes. So on my phone, I put it in edit, but it did not stay there. Grrr
The problem was that Fanstory decided it did not like my Cyrillic text.
Thanks for the review.
Comment from royowen
I love the adventures of Ohmie, and being sick with cancer is a good carrot to readers, it adds a sympathetic air to the adventure, and having a spy active father doesn't hurt either, it gives spice to the narrative, well done Wayne, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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I love the adventures of Ohmie, and being sick with cancer is a good carrot to readers, it adds a sympathetic air to the adventure, and having a spy active father doesn't hurt either, it gives spice to the narrative, well done Wayne, blessings Roy
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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Thank you. I'm sorry about the FanStory format mess up. It was fine when I left home this morning.
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That's OK
Comment from Liz Westfall
I liked this a lot. I've told you before, but you are a great writer. As for what to do with your book, I'm not quite sure. Maybe you could start off by emailing the book to interested parties. Then if it gets enough traction, then kindle it?
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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I liked this a lot. I've told you before, but you are a great writer. As for what to do with your book, I'm not quite sure. Maybe you could start off by emailing the book to interested parties. Then if it gets enough traction, then kindle it?
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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Thank you.
And thank you for the review.
Comment from lyenochka
Seems like Ohmie and his dad are in the current time? Or in Soviet times? It's good that his dad feels Ohmie can pick up Russian that fast. Of course, there are German words in Russian - like German der Stahl is where Stalin made up his name as his Georgian name would be hard for most to remember.
I see what you mean with the garbling of the Russian even in transliteration. After ""I thought you were a child prodigy? We have time - two days. Vy budete govorit�¹ po-russki," all the lines got garbled for me and it ran across all the screen. Pity. I do speak Russian.
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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Seems like Ohmie and his dad are in the current time? Or in Soviet times? It's good that his dad feels Ohmie can pick up Russian that fast. Of course, there are German words in Russian - like German der Stahl is where Stalin made up his name as his Georgian name would be hard for most to remember.
I see what you mean with the garbling of the Russian even in transliteration. After ""I thought you were a child prodigy? We have time - two days. Vy budete govorit�¹ po-russki," all the lines got garbled for me and it ran across all the screen. Pity. I do speak Russian.
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the review.
I was away from home when I discovered what FanStory had done. )It was fine when I left) I put it into edit mode, but it didn't stay there. Sorry.
Comment from Susan Newell
Eeek!
The last paragraphs are all running off into the ether. Very difficult to read. Also small point size. Suggest just omitting Cyrillic alphabet and reporting that it was said in Russian, or do it phonetically, the way Ohmie would hear it. Also suggest double length installments here -- for what its worth.
"I'll be back."
Sue
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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Eeek!
The last paragraphs are all running off into the ether. Very difficult to read. Also small point size. Suggest just omitting Cyrillic alphabet and reporting that it was said in Russian, or do it phonetically, the way Ohmie would hear it. Also suggest double length installments here -- for what its worth.
"I'll be back."
Sue
Comment Written 30-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 30-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the review.
You think folks would tolerate 2000-2500 word posts?
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I would. They move quickly. You aren't one to just drone on. You keep the interest and action moving. But, I know some prefer shorter writes
