Coming Together
haiku club entry = gems20 total reviews
Comment from Marienkiefer
What a very interesting write.
Standout in this gem of a haiku:
-Appreciation of the stone: value, hue, qualities of the stone and jewel intensity.
Would it be worthwhile, if you so choose, to view the stone as precious cornerstones rather than for its colour, as sapphires and rubies speak volumes already in terms of brilliance in hue?
A nice poem. All the best.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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What a very interesting write.
Standout in this gem of a haiku:
-Appreciation of the stone: value, hue, qualities of the stone and jewel intensity.
Would it be worthwhile, if you so choose, to view the stone as precious cornerstones rather than for its colour, as sapphires and rubies speak volumes already in terms of brilliance in hue?
A nice poem. All the best.
Comment Written 26-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the nice review, Mari,
Joan
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You are very welcome, Joan🌸
Comment from June Sargent
It certainly is a beautiful way to look at these gems. Freedom and love. They are both necessary qualities in a relationship. I enjoyed your sentiments captured in such a few words.
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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It certainly is a beautiful way to look at these gems. Freedom and love. They are both necessary qualities in a relationship. I enjoyed your sentiments captured in such a few words.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Nice to hear from you June. Thanks for the review.
Joan
Comment from GWHARGIS
Ah, the red ruby and the blue sapphire. Against the white backdrop no less. The syllable count was spot on as was the thought behind it. Thoroughly enjoyed this.
Gretchen
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Ah, the red ruby and the blue sapphire. Against the white backdrop no less. The syllable count was spot on as was the thought behind it. Thoroughly enjoyed this.
Gretchen
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 26-Sep-2022
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Thanks a lot for taking the time to read and review my poem, GW. Glad you liked it
Joan
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your haiku for the club read well, DP. The picture was
perfect to pair with your well thought out words. Great
job with the syllable count per line. You gave readers much
to think about--esp if they didn't know what the stones meant
in terms of words.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Your haiku for the club read well, DP. The picture was
perfect to pair with your well thought out words. Great
job with the syllable count per line. You gave readers much
to think about--esp if they didn't know what the stones meant
in terms of words.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thanks, for the nice comments and high rating, Jan. Glad yo liked it.
Joan
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
This is well written and presented,
a perfect example of a haiku.
You explore the relationship between love and freedom, how they are seamlessly harmonious.
I find these carefully selected words motivational, as we should all aspire to achieve this union.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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This is well written and presented,
a perfect example of a haiku.
You explore the relationship between love and freedom, how they are seamlessly harmonious.
I find these carefully selected words motivational, as we should all aspire to achieve this union.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thanks, KL, for reading and reviewing my poem. I am glad you found it motivational.
Joan
Joan
Comment from royowen
Gemstones are amazing, they capture light in different ways, and have their own propensities to refract the light, this is beautifully written Joan, an excellent post, well done, Blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Gemstones are amazing, they capture light in different ways, and have their own propensities to refract the light, this is beautifully written Joan, an excellent post, well done, Blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thank you for the nice review, Roy.
Joan
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Welcome
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting poem. On one level it works well. However, most gems come in varying colors as does the sapphire. This makes symbolism hard to define. The flow of the poem is good. The form is adhered to well and the subject of precious gems is met. A overall pleasing poem.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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An interesting poem. On one level it works well. However, most gems come in varying colors as does the sapphire. This makes symbolism hard to define. The flow of the poem is good. The form is adhered to well and the subject of precious gems is met. A overall pleasing poem.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
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Thanks for the positive review.That?s why the artwork has a blue sapphire and a red ruby. The colors they are originally known for. The symbolism is for those only
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You are welcome.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello, Joan,
Excellent modern haiku for the club's event. Good syllables count and connection between lines. The last line, satori, is a great juxtaposition with the gems and a partnership. Well done.
The picture is a diamond, I would use a picture of sapphires and rubies or a varies gems. I found a page you can check for one you like. There is one with both gems and a couple more...it would fit well.
https://www.google.com/search?q=sappires+and+rubbies&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwi8vM2lgub5AhUoneAKHVbvB4sQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=sappires+and+rubbies&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoECCMQJzoECAAQQzoICAAQsQMQgwE6CAgAEIAEELEDOgcIABCxAxBDOgUIABCABDoGCAAQChAYUOMgWOyHAWC5igFoAHAAeACAAacCiAG_IZIBBjAuMTIuOZgBAKABAaoBC2d3cy13aXotaW1nwAEB&sclient=img&ei=S4cJY_zqLKi6ggfW3p_YCA&bih=568&biw=1366&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS1010US1010#imgrc=Uws-70rkg7-lvM
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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Hello, Joan,
Excellent modern haiku for the club's event. Good syllables count and connection between lines. The last line, satori, is a great juxtaposition with the gems and a partnership. Well done.
The picture is a diamond, I would use a picture of sapphires and rubies or a varies gems. I found a page you can check for one you like. There is one with both gems and a couple more...it would fit well.
https://www.google.com/search?q=sappires+and+rubbies&tbm=isch&ved=2ahUKEwi8vM2lgub5AhUoneAKHVbvB4sQ2-cCegQIABAA&oq=sappires+and+rubbies&gs_lcp=CgNpbWcQAzoECCMQJzoECAAQQzoICAAQsQMQgwE6CAgAEIAEELEDOgcIABCxAxBDOgUIABCABDoGCAAQChAYUOMgWOyHAWC5igFoAHAAeACAAacCiAG_IZIBBjAuMTIuOZgBAKABAaoBC2d3cy13aXotaW1nwAEB&sclient=img&ei=S4cJY_zqLKi6ggfW3p_YCA&bih=568&biw=1366&rlz=1C1CHBF_enUS1010US1010#imgrc=Uws-70rkg7-lvM
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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Thanks, I will look for a fitting picture.
Joan
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Colors of freedom and love certainly are a perfect relationship! Freedom to be who you are and want to be and love to share between the two of you.
A great combination!
This a wonderful Haiku entry for your club.
Thanks for sharing your talent!
Jesse
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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Colors of freedom and love certainly are a perfect relationship! Freedom to be who you are and want to be and love to share between the two of you.
A great combination!
This a wonderful Haiku entry for your club.
Thanks for sharing your talent!
Jesse
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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Glad you liked it so much, Jesse. Thank.
Joan
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation, Joan.
-You wrote a good poem for the gems event.
-Good choice of gems, and description
of what they represent.
-A very good satori line that brings
the whole poem together.
-Well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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-Nice artwork and presentation, Joan.
-You wrote a good poem for the gems event.
-Good choice of gems, and description
of what they represent.
-A very good satori line that brings
the whole poem together.
-Well done!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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Thanks, Pam, for the heads up. I changed the word to partnership which is a synonym and provides alliteration.
Joan
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You are welcome, and that works very well. I changed the last part of the review for you.
