Malfunction, hopefully
I believe this isn't meant to happen.30 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm glad you told us in your author's notes what sdrawkcab was, I was about to look it up! Lol. My brain isn't at it's best at the end of the week! Lol. This is a wonderful 5-7-5 poem, with a fabulous picture to enhance your words. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
  |
I'm glad you told us in your author's notes what sdrawkcab was, I was about to look it up! Lol. My brain isn't at it's best at the end of the week! Lol. This is a wonderful 5-7-5 poem, with a fabulous picture to enhance your words. Well done and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
Comment from GWHARGIS
This was like something from the Twilight Zone. Dark and foreboding and quite mysterious. I was quite excited to find backwards written, well, backwards. Made me slow down despite my effort to move through it. Now you have left me wondering what happens when time hits zero. Well done. You managed to build suspense in only 3 short lines.
Gretchen
|
This was like something from the Twilight Zone. Dark and foreboding and quite mysterious. I was quite excited to find backwards written, well, backwards. Made me slow down despite my effort to move through it. Now you have left me wondering what happens when time hits zero. Well done. You managed to build suspense in only 3 short lines.
Gretchen
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a good 5-7-5 contest entry. The syllable count is on point. The text in white could be a bit larger. I did not know the usage of the word backwards spelled in reverse. Now, I do. Thanks for teaching me a new concept. The visual fits well. Good luck in the contest.
|
This is a good 5-7-5 contest entry. The syllable count is on point. The text in white could be a bit larger. I did not know the usage of the word backwards spelled in reverse. Now, I do. Thanks for teaching me a new concept. The visual fits well. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Twilight Zone. . . .I can hear the music. You did a great job
with your presentation of your contest entry--the red font
was a great choice and the way you wrote backwards and
stretching. Good job with the syllable count per line.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes, Jan
|
Twilight Zone. . . .I can hear the music. You did a great job
with your presentation of your contest entry--the red font
was a great choice and the way you wrote backwards and
stretching. Good job with the syllable count per line.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes, Jan
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
Comment from Thomas Blanks
Don't worry! time is moving backwards. I mean sdrawkcab, in which case, the malfunction, whatever it was that caused this, will undo itself shortly. Now, the only question is... when that point is reached, will time stop moving sdrawkcab? If it doesn't. you are so screwed!
|
Don't worry! time is moving backwards. I mean sdrawkcab, in which case, the malfunction, whatever it was that caused this, will undo itself shortly. Now, the only question is... when that point is reached, will time stop moving sdrawkcab? If it doesn't. you are so screwed!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
Comment from Liz Westfall
I was so confused at first about the sdrawkab until I saw your note haha. Very clever! I also loved how you actually stretched out the word stretching. I could definitely feel this photo and the emotions tied into it.
|
I was so confused at first about the sdrawkab until I saw your note haha. Very clever! I also loved how you actually stretched out the word stretching. I could definitely feel this photo and the emotions tied into it.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
Comment from leather
I am left to guess what those neon lights mean. This might be an emergency outside a hospital, and that consciousness may dim. Something is malfunctioning, as stated, but I'm not sure what.
No spelling errors.
Best wishes
|
I am left to guess what those neon lights mean. This might be an emergency outside a hospital, and that consciousness may dim. Something is malfunctioning, as stated, but I'm not sure what.
No spelling errors.
Best wishes
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
Comment from Marienkiefer
Lovely 5-7-5 haiku.
-Wonderful presentation.
-Where you locate readers in this poem is quite intriguing, it has the feeling of a place that one may not want to be.
Sparkling in your poem: the neon light that glows.
My favourite line: the sdrawkcab countdown.
Good luck on your entry.
|
Lovely 5-7-5 haiku.
-Wonderful presentation.
-Where you locate readers in this poem is quite intriguing, it has the feeling of a place that one may not want to be.
Sparkling in your poem: the neon light that glows.
My favourite line: the sdrawkcab countdown.
Good luck on your entry.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
Comment from Raul1
I have enjoyed reading your piece of poetry. It is clear and concise. It is interesting and entertaining to read. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Thank you for sharing!
|
I have enjoyed reading your piece of poetry. It is clear and concise. It is interesting and entertaining to read. Excellent work! No mistakes found. Thank you for sharing!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
Comment from LJbutterfly
Well. You have a vivid imagination, and have crafted an unusual story line for this short poem. Actually, it sounds like the beginning of a great mystery or horror tale. If only there was more. Best wishes in the contest.
|
Well. You have a vivid imagination, and have crafted an unusual story line for this short poem. Actually, it sounds like the beginning of a great mystery or horror tale. If only there was more. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
