Open Invitation
Hell really doth have no fury...21 total reviews
Comment from Wendy G
Well, what goes around comes around. A clever story for the revenge contest, and written from a different angle. Sending best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Well, what goes around comes around. A clever story for the revenge contest, and written from a different angle. Sending best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Karma's a very mighty force!! Coupled with a scorned wife, it gets an extra surge! Thanks for the nice review.
Comment from Fleedleflump
Yikes, that's some next level plotting! That randy prisoner's going to want the time of his life. You've walked that fine line between tongue in cheek humour and properly dark content. Great stuff.
Mike
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Yikes, that's some next level plotting! That randy prisoner's going to want the time of his life. You've walked that fine line between tongue in cheek humour and properly dark content. Great stuff.
Mike
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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I may even have put a few toes over...
Thank you for a great review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Well, that is some revenge. Nothing like turning a domestic violence perpetrator onto someone who hooked up with your husband. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Well, that is some revenge. Nothing like turning a domestic violence perpetrator onto someone who hooked up with your husband. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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If you want the job done right, Carol...
Comment from BethShelby
This is fun story. It should get the attention of the prisoner soon to be released. I'm sure a woman like Janelle will get the prisoner's attention.. Let's just hope he isn't the jealous type, because it doesn't sound like Janelle is ready to give her plural "Men". If he is jealous he might get to serve type again for domestic violence.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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This is fun story. It should get the attention of the prisoner soon to be released. I'm sure a woman like Janelle will get the prisoner's attention.. Let's just hope he isn't the jealous type, because it doesn't sound like Janelle is ready to give her plural "Men". If he is jealous he might get to serve type again for domestic violence.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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I think you are 100 percent right about THAT!
Comment from royowen
Don't you just love it? There are plenty of carrots dangling out there, but it's what's attached to the carrot that bothers me, ahh sweet temptation, but I grew up in a world of fools, of which I was king, the fool keeps going, heh heh, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Don't you just love it? There are plenty of carrots dangling out there, but it's what's attached to the carrot that bothers me, ahh sweet temptation, but I grew up in a world of fools, of which I was king, the fool keeps going, heh heh, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Thank you, you fool. (KIDDING!!!) [I tried hard to resist saying that, but the temptation was just too much!]
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As long as you don?t miss calling me for lunch
Comment from Ann M
Poor poor Janelle. Wouldn't I just love to be a fly on the wall when Prisoner #41862 pays her a call. Very clever and funny offering for this prompt.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Poor poor Janelle. Wouldn't I just love to be a fly on the wall when Prisoner #41862 pays her a call. Very clever and funny offering for this prompt.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Thank you. Janelle earned every last part of her fate.
Comment from Thomas Blanks
Nicely played. Now, does she drop her husband's 1952 Jackie Robinson baseball card in olive oil? OH! It used to be worth a million dollars, sorry. I realize you had a short word count, but you fixed her so well (or is it badly?) that I was thinking he needed something. LOL, good job on the piece.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Nicely played. Now, does she drop her husband's 1952 Jackie Robinson baseball card in olive oil? OH! It used to be worth a million dollars, sorry. I realize you had a short word count, but you fixed her so well (or is it badly?) that I was thinking he needed something. LOL, good job on the piece.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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HAHAHA!! Now come on, in a communal property state, she'd be doing herself out of $500K that way. This woman seems entirely too smart for THAT! Maybe, it gets mysteriously "lost" or something...you know, until years after he dies from having consumed the right amount of arsenic one (well-placed) grain at a time...
I have a true baseball card vignette that will make you cringe, though: My roommate's husband had a Mickey Mantle rookie card when he was nine...that he put in the spoke of his bike to make it sound like a motorcycle!!!!!!
Thanks for the great suggestion in this very nice review.
Comment from evilynne
Very interesting with a surprising twist. Revenge is always leaves a sweet taste. Your little story is well written. Best of luck in the contest. Evi
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Very interesting with a surprising twist. Revenge is always leaves a sweet taste. Your little story is well written. Best of luck in the contest. Evi
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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I like the way you think!! I used to be a lot more vindictive (well, okay, not THIS vindictive!), but my husband taught me that you never have to do a thing: Karma will take care of it for you. You get to just watch with rapt fascination from the sidelines!
Thanks for your nice review. I appreciate it.
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
Good luck in the contest. You get five stars for originality. Not light-hearted, but definitely clever. Too bad you were confined to 800 words, I would have loved more information about whether the punishment actually fit the crime and although perfectly realistic that the "other woman" bears the full brunt of the vengeance of the wronged wife, I always wonder why the husband seems completely blameless. Too bad this action couldn't have somehow included him. :)
I would rewrite this paragraph:
"...personals ad that your time served for Armed Robbery, Stalking and Domestic Violence is almost at an end. This coincides perfectly with my vow --made just this morning after lying to my office mate about not being involved with her husband. She supposedly found the gift card to Gold's Gym and love note I sent him-- to clean up my act and repent forever."
Not sure Armed Robbery, Stalking and Domestic Violence need to be capitalized. The other two sentences need better punctuation than the dashes, they are difficult to follow and slow the flow of the paragraph. I suggest something like: I promised myself just this morning, after lying to my office mate who accused me of having an affair with her husband, that I would clean up my act and repent for ever. She had me dead to rights after finding the gift card to Gold's Gym and love note I sent him, but I wasn't going to take the rap alone.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Good luck in the contest. You get five stars for originality. Not light-hearted, but definitely clever. Too bad you were confined to 800 words, I would have loved more information about whether the punishment actually fit the crime and although perfectly realistic that the "other woman" bears the full brunt of the vengeance of the wronged wife, I always wonder why the husband seems completely blameless. Too bad this action couldn't have somehow included him. :)
I would rewrite this paragraph:
"...personals ad that your time served for Armed Robbery, Stalking and Domestic Violence is almost at an end. This coincides perfectly with my vow --made just this morning after lying to my office mate about not being involved with her husband. She supposedly found the gift card to Gold's Gym and love note I sent him-- to clean up my act and repent forever."
Not sure Armed Robbery, Stalking and Domestic Violence need to be capitalized. The other two sentences need better punctuation than the dashes, they are difficult to follow and slow the flow of the paragraph. I suggest something like: I promised myself just this morning, after lying to my office mate who accused me of having an affair with her husband, that I would clean up my act and repent for ever. She had me dead to rights after finding the gift card to Gold's Gym and love note I sent him, but I wasn't going to take the rap alone.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Oooh! That's good. I knew that part was too "wordy" and bulky. You are a genius! Thank you for being so generous with your time and talents. VERY much appreciated!!
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. I am pretty sure this girl is trouble, but I am not sure she's ready to handle an ex-con. Your entry kept my interest. I really enjoyed reading.
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reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Thank you for sharing this writing prompt entry with us. I am pretty sure this girl is trouble, but I am not sure she's ready to handle an ex-con. Your entry kept my interest. I really enjoyed reading.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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She definitely messed with the wrong woman's husband!! thanks for your review.
