The Best Time of Ohmie's Life
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Best Time of Ohmie's Life, pt 4"Dying of cancer, Ohmie learns his parents are spie
9 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
Apparently I read this one in the wrong order, but it all fell into place anyway. Now I know how Ohmie learned to shoot. Another great chapter, Wayne.
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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Apparently I read this one in the wrong order, but it all fell into place anyway. Now I know how Ohmie learned to shoot. Another great chapter, Wayne.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Geese Wayne this is a new direction for Ohmie. Souds like a lot of adventures ahead for him.
Para 6, 1st sentence: Need opening quote mark at (Nine...)
Para 6, 3rd sentence: (may) should be (many)
Para 13, 1st sentence: Insert (a) between (for) and (minute)
Para 16, 2nd sentence: Need closing quote mark after (takeoff.)
Para 31, 1st sentence: (hundred year old) should be (hundred-year-old) hyphens
Para 31, 3rd sentence: Add comma after (down)
Para 32, 3rd sentence: Remove comma between (button) and (and)
Para 33, 2nd sentence: (begin) should be (begins)
Ohmie is probably my favorite repeat character here on FS. I hope you don't let him get into too much trouble.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Geese Wayne this is a new direction for Ohmie. Souds like a lot of adventures ahead for him.
Para 6, 1st sentence: Need opening quote mark at (Nine...)
Para 6, 3rd sentence: (may) should be (many)
Para 13, 1st sentence: Insert (a) between (for) and (minute)
Para 16, 2nd sentence: Need closing quote mark after (takeoff.)
Para 31, 1st sentence: (hundred year old) should be (hundred-year-old) hyphens
Para 31, 3rd sentence: Add comma after (down)
Para 32, 3rd sentence: Remove comma between (button) and (and)
Para 33, 2nd sentence: (begin) should be (begins)
Ohmie is probably my favorite repeat character here on FS. I hope you don't let him get into too much trouble.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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smiley face here.
I wrote the first chapter in response to a contest. Then I thought it would make an Ohmie story. I did not enter the contest, believing it would be disqualified as unresponsive to the parameters.
Then I thought maybe a YA/adult themed child spy with nothing to lose.
Anyway, thanks for the great review.
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It's a different Ohmie but one that would work. I agree, a YA themed spy thing sounds fun. I would have to get to know an entirely different Ohmie though.
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I'll probably change the name when I put it together.
Comment from Ric Myworld
After posting my last chapter in the Tucker series and not seeing you pop in to keep me straight, I started wondering why I hadn't seen your next Ohmie chapter posted and came looking. I'm glad I did, because as you can tell, I found it. LOL. Thanks for sharing. I wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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After posting my last chapter in the Tucker series and not seeing you pop in to keep me straight, I started wondering why I hadn't seen your next Ohmie chapter posted and came looking. I'm glad I did, because as you can tell, I found it. LOL. Thanks for sharing. I wish I had a six.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Thank you. Don't know how I missed it. I'll go look.
Thanks for the review.
Comment from Wendy G
Interesting and well written. Very different for an Aussie, as guns for us are very rarely seen or used, and not easily available. But I know it's just a story ...
Powerful last line.
Wendy
Typo: "concierge" (not "consierge")
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Interesting and well written. Very different for an Aussie, as guns for us are very rarely seen or used, and not easily available. But I know it's just a story ...
Powerful last line.
Wendy
Typo: "concierge" (not "consierge")
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Thank you.
And thanks for the catch.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This Ohmie is having an exciting life, but it probably isn't good for his cancer. Of course, he can shoot because he can do anything, except cure his own cancer. I think your Ohmie stories could be a young adult novel of the type that older folks enjoy reading. Maybe Ohmie is the next Harry Potter.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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This Ohmie is having an exciting life, but it probably isn't good for his cancer. Of course, he can shoot because he can do anything, except cure his own cancer. I think your Ohmie stories could be a young adult novel of the type that older folks enjoy reading. Maybe Ohmie is the next Harry Potter.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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Thank you! Great words of encouragement.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
A fast moving piece. The pace is good. The flow is fine. The narrative stays on point. The dialogue is believable. The characters seem to have depth.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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A fast moving piece. The pace is good. The flow is fine. The narrative stays on point. The dialogue is believable. The characters seem to have depth.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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Thank you. I appreciate your kind words.
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You are welcome.
Comment from lancellot
A very interesting and well written chapter.
notes:
One thing [for] sure, whoever shoots at you, has more bullets than you do.
-add
After a moment I replied. (He waited.) "About my cancer, or killing those two men?"
- Are you sure, you want this here?
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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A very interesting and well written chapter.
notes:
One thing [for] sure, whoever shoots at you, has more bullets than you do.
-add
After a moment I replied. (He waited.) "About my cancer, or killing those two men?"
- Are you sure, you want this here?
Comment Written 24-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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Hmmm
I'll have to go look at it. Thanks.
And thank you for the review.
Comment from Michaela Moore
So many jewels of writing in this chapter. Many sentences are just right on the money. I love this chapter the best so far because you stop the action to let us breathe and reveal even more about each character and their relationship. Also, you grow their relationship into a deeper bond. Lovely!
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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So many jewels of writing in this chapter. Many sentences are just right on the money. I love this chapter the best so far because you stop the action to let us breathe and reveal even more about each character and their relationship. Also, you grow their relationship into a deeper bond. Lovely!
Comment Written 24-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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Wow! Jut exactly what my wife said - let 'em take a breath!
Thank you for the great review!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I wonder how come Ohmie is such a good shot. Genetically-transmitted skill? Sounds a bit far-fetched perhaps. It's really sad that he's only getting close to his father as he arrives at the twilight of his life. Better late than never, eh? Enjoyed this, as this whole series. Kate xx
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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I wonder how come Ohmie is such a good shot. Genetically-transmitted skill? Sounds a bit far-fetched perhaps. It's really sad that he's only getting close to his father as he arrives at the twilight of his life. Better late than never, eh? Enjoyed this, as this whole series. Kate xx
Comment Written 24-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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Thank you. I guess my only answer would be that it's fiction? Or, I could say that he's Ohmie, remember?
But seriously, thank you for the great review.
