Novella - Unwanted Dog
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Unwanted Dog-Prologue"Adopted By Unknown Stranger In Wal-Mart Parking Lo
18 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
Writing an autobiography can cue up different designs for presentation. One common variety of bio writing takes relevant life events and treats them like newspaper articles, creating documentaries. This can result in a personal history, or the history of a place, or the history of a group, etc. The intention is to be informative first and entertaining second.
In this piece, "Unwanted Dog Prologue," the author uses the documentary approach and adds quick mentions of how things affected him in the course of a lonely and difficult life.
The advantage of the documentary approach is that an author can cover a lot efficiently. The disadvantage is that you end up with a long string of events without any connection to an actual being. Brett Matthew West endeavors to engage us by giving us snippets about the unhappy events occurring in his central character's life and lets the reader fill in the blanks to put human emotion into the narrative. I do not think that this is the way to write an entertaining biography, real or fictional. An event such as an orphan's finding out about his parentage through prison inmates is the basis for a chapter of its own, and that is the case with many of the incidents, people, and places presented in the prologue. In this piece, there are also long, confusing sentences and sudden jumps in the sequence that require the reader to reread and construct an organization of the information transmitted.
In fictional biographies, the revelations of the stories contained occur within the consciousness of the narrator or the major character. Thereby do we get stories like Huckleberry Finn, a first-person narrative, and Crime and Punishment, a third person omniscient narrative allowing the reader into the mind of the central character.
This prologue contains enough events to be expanded into a much longer piece by using a different approach to exposing the emotional realities of life. (And the picture, which will no doubt be justified in the continuing book, made no sense in the context of what the prologue presents.)
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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Writing an autobiography can cue up different designs for presentation. One common variety of bio writing takes relevant life events and treats them like newspaper articles, creating documentaries. This can result in a personal history, or the history of a place, or the history of a group, etc. The intention is to be informative first and entertaining second.
In this piece, "Unwanted Dog Prologue," the author uses the documentary approach and adds quick mentions of how things affected him in the course of a lonely and difficult life.
The advantage of the documentary approach is that an author can cover a lot efficiently. The disadvantage is that you end up with a long string of events without any connection to an actual being. Brett Matthew West endeavors to engage us by giving us snippets about the unhappy events occurring in his central character's life and lets the reader fill in the blanks to put human emotion into the narrative. I do not think that this is the way to write an entertaining biography, real or fictional. An event such as an orphan's finding out about his parentage through prison inmates is the basis for a chapter of its own, and that is the case with many of the incidents, people, and places presented in the prologue. In this piece, there are also long, confusing sentences and sudden jumps in the sequence that require the reader to reread and construct an organization of the information transmitted.
In fictional biographies, the revelations of the stories contained occur within the consciousness of the narrator or the major character. Thereby do we get stories like Huckleberry Finn, a first-person narrative, and Crime and Punishment, a third person omniscient narrative allowing the reader into the mind of the central character.
This prologue contains enough events to be expanded into a much longer piece by using a different approach to exposing the emotional realities of life. (And the picture, which will no doubt be justified in the continuing book, made no sense in the context of what the prologue presents.)
Comment Written 03-Apr-2024
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2024
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Review received. The many chapters of Unwanted Dog address all your concerns, so you are invited to follow along as I post them for your reading enjoyment.
Comment from Douglas Goff
A lot of backstory and history, but very interesting. I had always heard that orphan babies almost always get adopted while older children have issues finding homes. Maybe just the US?
Anyways, I found no grammatical issues. I look forward to the next installment!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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A lot of backstory and history, but very interesting. I had always heard that orphan babies almost always get adopted while older children have issues finding homes. Maybe just the US?
Anyways, I found no grammatical issues. I look forward to the next installment!
Comment Written 15-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment from GWHARGIS
One thing your autobiography has made me realize is that I have taken a whole lot for granted and complained about small stuff that doesn't amount to much in the grand scheme of things. This chapter was good in the fact that it is you as an adult talking about life now. Really good. Gretchen
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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One thing your autobiography has made me realize is that I have taken a whole lot for granted and complained about small stuff that doesn't amount to much in the grand scheme of things. This chapter was good in the fact that it is you as an adult talking about life now. Really good. Gretchen
Comment Written 14-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2022
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Appreciate the review and insightful comments.
Comment from JoannaN
This was a good read. You have a talent for writing.
PS: Do you have any photos showing Hermitage? Maybe it would be a nice idea to use them to accompany your stories (you can put more pictures if you use advanced editor).
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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This was a good read. You have a talent for writing.
PS: Do you have any photos showing Hermitage? Maybe it would be a nice idea to use them to accompany your stories (you can put more pictures if you use advanced editor).
Comment Written 12-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 12-Nov-2022
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Much appreciate the review and suggestions.
Comment from prettybluebirds
I like the title for your story, it is most appropriate. Your story is skillfully written and easy to follow. I see this is nonfiction, so I wish you the best with your health issues. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2022
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I like the title for your story, it is most appropriate. Your story is skillfully written and easy to follow. I see this is nonfiction, so I wish you the best with your health issues. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 07-Nov-2022
reply by the author on 07-Nov-2022
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Thank you. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
I am so sorry what happened to your parents; so glad that you have become a writer. I've visited Music City and have loved it there. Like any state they have their sides that are dangerous but where I visited is known as Graceland. Like your story.
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2022
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I am so sorry what happened to your parents; so glad that you have become a writer. I've visited Music City and have loved it there. Like any state they have their sides that are dangerous but where I visited is known as Graceland. Like your story.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 25-Oct-2022
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Graceland is in Memphis. My "parents" I know next to nothing about as I was virtually abandoned by them at birth. However, as two chapters, or so, from now will indicate things changed dramatically for me shortly after this incident occurred.
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Nashville is a great place to visit~Been there a couple of times.
Comment from Shirley McLain
So you are from Nashville. I've been through there numerous times on I-40 and have spent the night a couple of times but I've never seen the sites. If I make it back through sometime, I will have to look up Monells. You did a great job. Thanks for sharing. Shirley
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
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So you are from Nashville. I've been through there numerous times on I-40 and have spent the night a couple of times but I've never seen the sites. If I make it back through sometime, I will have to look up Monells. You did a great job. Thanks for sharing. Shirley
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
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Monell's is quite a restaurant. Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This memory of your life continues to amaze me, Brett. I wonder how it was Bill was able to have you sit on stage at the Grand Ole Opry. Were you a musician?
As you take us back to when you were born, and you're becoming an orphan, my heart aches. But you seem to have managed just fine without knowing any blood relatives. Or so you imply. I'm interested in how you got where you are today.
One sentence that could use some work(I know I'm late getting to this so it might already be fixed):
"Other happenings around Music City back then included drive-in movie theatres (which) were all the rage.
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
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This memory of your life continues to amaze me, Brett. I wonder how it was Bill was able to have you sit on stage at the Grand Ole Opry. Were you a musician?
As you take us back to when you were born, and you're becoming an orphan, my heart aches. But you seem to have managed just fine without knowing any blood relatives. Or so you imply. I'm interested in how you got where you are today.
One sentence that could use some work(I know I'm late getting to this so it might already be fixed):
"Other happenings around Music City back then included drive-in movie theatres (which) were all the rage.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
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Appreciate the review and catch.
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You're most welcome, Brett.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent. Superbly written. Good work.
And nice of Bosco to pose.
Had I a six left, would be placed here (there, actually)
Though I've been a country music fan for more of my life than I was rock 'n roll, I've never felt the desire to visit Nashville, until now. Thank you.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Excellent. Superbly written. Good work.
And nice of Bosco to pose.
Had I a six left, would be placed here (there, actually)
Though I've been a country music fan for more of my life than I was rock 'n roll, I've never felt the desire to visit Nashville, until now. Thank you.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Glad you enjoyed this chapter. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Ulla
Yeah, I like this, Brett, and your style. What we do have in common is that we both started out lives as orphans. I'm intrigued by this, and I think I know what is coming.
I'm sorry that you have to deal with health problems. I'm looking forward to reading on. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Yeah, I like this, Brett, and your style. What we do have in common is that we both started out lives as orphans. I'm intrigued by this, and I think I know what is coming.
I'm sorry that you have to deal with health problems. I'm looking forward to reading on. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Thanks for the comments. Much more of my autobiography to come. Appreciate the review.
