Collateral Damage
A Naani Poem for the club challenge15 total reviews
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Kahpot, your poem is beautifully penned and illustrates the broken pieces of war. Of special note:
our war-torn hearts
fall silent like broken strings
(Good descriptive writing ~ soulful)
Well-chosen artwrok. A pleasure to read. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Hi Kahpot, your poem is beautifully penned and illustrates the broken pieces of war. Of special note:
our war-torn hearts
fall silent like broken strings
(Good descriptive writing ~ soulful)
Well-chosen artwrok. A pleasure to read. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 23-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Thank you so very much, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
The loss of love certainly leaves a gaping hole in our lives and I can identify with these words here. A fine Naani poem, much enjoyed, full of meaning, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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The loss of love certainly leaves a gaping hole in our lives and I can identify with these words here. A fine Naani poem, much enjoyed, full of meaning, love Dolly x
Comment Written 23-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice artwork and presentation, kahpot.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-Effective imagery in each line showing
the circumstances taking place, from "war-torn hearts"
falling silent to "broken strings."
-Very good closing lines, showing that
love needs to return in order for hearts
and instruments, and life to mend.
-Very well done!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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-Nice artwork and presentation, kahpot.
-The syllable count is good, along with the topic.
-Effective imagery in each line showing
the circumstances taking place, from "war-torn hearts"
falling silent to "broken strings."
-Very good closing lines, showing that
love needs to return in order for hearts
and instruments, and life to mend.
-Very well done!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
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You are very welcome, kahpot.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Kahpot,
Your excellent NAANI Haiku poem is full of imagery and emotion. I like the way you equate the heart with music, broken and silent, and it will only nearly again when "warriors" return.
Great poem.
Blessings,
Cindy
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Kahpot,
Your excellent NAANI Haiku poem is full of imagery and emotion. I like the way you equate the heart with music, broken and silent, and it will only nearly again when "warriors" return.
Great poem.
Blessings,
Cindy
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you Cindy, your wonderful and encouraging comments are always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from lyenochka
Wonderful metaphors in your naani poem. I like the "war-torn hearts" which shows the effects of a lovers' quarrel. I also like the "strings" of the instruments for the emotional heart strings and I like "sound" for the health of the hearts as well as the sound of the instruments!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Wonderful metaphors in your naani poem. I like the "war-torn hearts" which shows the effects of a lovers' quarrel. I also like the "strings" of the instruments for the emotional heart strings and I like "sound" for the health of the hearts as well as the sound of the instruments!
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you for understanding what I was trying to say and the encouraging comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Japanese poetry club event. Good syllables count and connection between lines. I love the presentation and imagery. Thank you for naming my name and your kind words.
Gypsy
our war-torn hearts 4
fall sil/ent like bro/ken strings 7
from ins/tru/ments once sound 6
requiring love's return
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Excellent entry for the Japanese poetry club event. Good syllables count and connection between lines. I love the presentation and imagery. Thank you for naming my name and your kind words.
Gypsy
our war-torn hearts 4
fall sil/ent like bro/ken strings 7
from ins/tru/ments once sound 6
requiring love's return
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your wonderful and encouraging comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from June Sargent
You compared in this naani broken hearts to broken instruments - ones that used to fill the air with joyful music - now silenced by war. A perfect way to interpret the artwork. Women always suffered during times of war - regardless of their nationality or culture. Sacrifices were required from both men and women.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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You compared in this naani broken hearts to broken instruments - ones that used to fill the air with joyful music - now silenced by war. A perfect way to interpret the artwork. Women always suffered during times of war - regardless of their nationality or culture. Sacrifices were required from both men and women.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, and yes there were sacrifices made by all, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Janice Canerdy
Your poem is just what a naani should be--an ultra-concise, descriptive,
message about emotions, soul-deep, and the causes of those feelings. Yours makes me think of the Ukrainians.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Your poem is just what a naani should be--an ultra-concise, descriptive,
message about emotions, soul-deep, and the causes of those feelings. Yours makes me think of the Ukrainians.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you very much, and yes I too feel for the Ukrainians, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from Bill Schott
This naani, Collateral Damage, uses four lines and twenty-two syllables to note the damage done to people during conflict which keeps them from being who they are and saying what needs to be said.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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This naani, Collateral Damage, uses four lines and twenty-two syllables to note the damage done to people during conflict which keeps them from being who they are and saying what needs to be said.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your wonderful comments, as always very much appreciated****kahpot
Comment from John Ciarmello
I loved this, Kahpot! Your words are well chosen and meaningful. I enjoyed the read, my friend. I wish you much success with the contest. Best, JohnC.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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I loved this, Kahpot! Your words are well chosen and meaningful. I enjoyed the read, my friend. I wish you much success with the contest. Best, JohnC.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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Thank you JohnC as always very much appreciated****kahpot
