Reviews from

The Last Text

Made to raise awareness about texting and driving.

62 total reviews 
Comment from Liz Westfall
Excellent
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This is very powerful! And I can't believe you're in high school. That's awesome! I'm 24, so I'm glad to see that I'm not the only writer here who is younger. This poem reminds me, actually, of a health promotion project I did back in college.

 Comment Written 27-Aug-2022

Comment from Eternal Muse
Excellent
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Oh, cell phone and driving are not compatible. Thousands of accidents, many fatal. The only way to talk on the phone while driving is blue tooth.

Great imagery, visuals and presentation. I enjoyed it very much. The last line is powerful and wraps it up nicely.

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2022

Comment from jaydub99
Excellent
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Well written and great flow. Your use of descriptive language really paints a picture and creates a somber tone. Great flow. Relevant message and done well. Excellent submission.

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2022

Comment from pome lover
Excellent
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a uniquely written and power message. Also, very sad.
You deserve the All Time Best, not only for your writing, but for your common sense which I would imagine (pardon me, but I haven't been around a high school student in a long time) is pretty rare.
Keep up the good writing!
Katharine

 Comment Written 26-Aug-2022

Comment from lyenochka
Excellent
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Wow, that's a scary story poem that should be read by everyone who uses cell phones while driving. That kind of accident happens all too often. You described the deployment of the airbags so well with "Firm, white pillows of regret smacked us in the face." You even included the smell. My 90-year-old mom had more injuries from the airbag than hitting the wall. No texting was involved.

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2022

Comment from Rachelle Allen
Excellent
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Wow, wow, wow!!! This should be read in every Driver's Ed class that is ever held for the remainder of human existence!! "Tremendous" does not even begin to describe how well-done this piece is. Chilling.

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2022

Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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It's amazing with all the information out there about texting and driving or talking on the phone and driving the number of people one sees who still do it. I don't understand. Thank you for sharing this poem with us.

 Comment Written 25-Aug-2022

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

As a high school student you already have a lock on a profession as a writer, but I'll suggest you have a back-up plan. Life throws us all kinds of curve balls, as the people in your poem learned. You might want to change overthrew to blew out of. Technically it isn't the glass that kills you because the glass becomes pebbles with sharp edges in modern cars, but I would leave it in as you have written it, unless several people say the same thing about the glass. What kills you is the whirling and the stop. Very good work on your poem.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2022

Comment from dellsworthpoet
Excellent
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When we speak of mixed blessings the cell phone is certainly one. Though it affords us convenience, it interrupts solitude. It adds distraction in conditions where attention is necessary.

A poignant poem. It speaks of freedom and fun interrupted by danger and pain. The flow is good. The poem stays on point. The narrative is sharp and uncomfortable, as is appropriate.

Thanks for a good read.

 Comment Written 24-Aug-2022

Comment from leather
Excellent
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I was given a mental shake-up when I read the line: "As the sirens wail and they dress us in the plastic, ... phones." This poem doesn't preach but also doesn't mince words either. You maintained a delicate balance in your wording.
I would give a higher star if I had any.

 Comment Written 23-Aug-2022