Cleona
A Flight, A Fancy, A Fiction27 total reviews
Comment from patricia dillon
This is an engrossing story. The metamorphosis of the firefly into the fairy is very well done. The theft from the garden is very exciting. Your sympathies are with the main character.
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This is an engrossing story. The metamorphosis of the firefly into the fairy is very well done. The theft from the garden is very exciting. Your sympathies are with the main character.
Comment Written 23-Nov-2022
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Well, this really captured my attention, what a great story. Of course I'll have to go and read the next part. I'm sure you could make this into a fabulous illustrated children's book, it has all the ingredients they love. Very well done! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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Well, this really captured my attention, what a great story. Of course I'll have to go and read the next part. I'm sure you could make this into a fabulous illustrated children's book, it has all the ingredients they love. Very well done! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 02-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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Hi, Sandra, thank you for reading, your great, in-depth comments, and all the stars! Worked on this for a few months, and had a lot of help from the pros here on FS
irish
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting start to a story. And we already know the root of the problem, or the problem of the root.
The flow is good. The story is magical and light. The language is classic fairy tale. The images are sharp. The narrative stays on point. And you leave us with a cliff hanger.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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An interesting start to a story. And we already know the root of the problem, or the problem of the root.
The flow is good. The story is magical and light. The language is classic fairy tale. The images are sharp. The narrative stays on point. And you leave us with a cliff hanger.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2022
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Thank you for reading, your in-depth comments, and all the stars!
Had a lot of help on this story from the pros here on FS. Hope you like the Final Chapter!
irish
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You are welcome.
Comment from amahra
This was beautifully written. Your words were well chosen, giving sophistication to the writing.
The strangely tilted eyes shone, her smile bringing out the dimples in each cherubic cheek. [I love this line. Very poetic.]
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
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This was beautifully written. Your words were well chosen, giving sophistication to the writing.
The strangely tilted eyes shone, her smile bringing out the dimples in each cherubic cheek. [I love this line. Very poetic.]
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
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Thank you for reading, your in-depth comments, and all the stars! Took a few months to write this, and along the way, I fell in love with the characters. Wound up with 5,000 words, had to split the story into two chapters. Hope you enjoy the Final Cahpter!
irish
Comment from nomi338
Blast you! I was all in on the story and you left me hanging. I understand why, but the story is too good. I selfishly want it to continue to the end. It is an engrossing tale and I simply cannot get enough.
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2022
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Blast you! I was all in on the story and you left me hanging. I understand why, but the story is too good. I selfishly want it to continue to the end. It is an engrossing tale and I simply cannot get enough.
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2022
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Wow, I am humbled and honored! Thank you for reading, your encouraging comments, and that galaxy of stars! Hope you find the Final Chapter I posted!
irish
Comment from estory
I thought this was really interesting. I liked the nod to Yeats' Stolen Child to kick it off. I am a big fan of Yeats and also Heaney. I thought it was interesting that the fairy never speaks. It is like that romantic, elusive perfect beauty and soul that you always dream of finding, but never can quite grasp. She is like the fireflies dancing mysteriously just beyond your grasp. Nice descriptive language rich in color and shape and sound and texture really make this passage come to life. estory
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2022
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I thought this was really interesting. I liked the nod to Yeats' Stolen Child to kick it off. I am a big fan of Yeats and also Heaney. I thought it was interesting that the fairy never speaks. It is like that romantic, elusive perfect beauty and soul that you always dream of finding, but never can quite grasp. She is like the fireflies dancing mysteriously just beyond your grasp. Nice descriptive language rich in color and shape and sound and texture really make this passage come to life. estory
Comment Written 27-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 28-Aug-2022
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Thank you for reading, your kind, in-depth comments, and all the stars! Worked a couple of months on this story, and it finally grew to over 5,000 words, so I had to find a way to bring everything together, and I had a lot of help from some of the great writers here on FS.
Cheers, irish
Comment from JamesW019
I liked the imagery of this story, it soothed me. I think the story would have been more interesting if you started with her being interrogated and her flashing back to how she got to that situation, but either way, I liked the story very much.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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I liked the imagery of this story, it soothed me. I think the story would have been more interesting if you started with her being interrogated and her flashing back to how she got to that situation, but either way, I liked the story very much.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Hi, James! Thank you for reading, and all the stars1 You are right, I looked at several opening paragraphs, finally deciding on the one that seemed to stretch the suspence about what was really happening.
Cheers, irish
Comment from royowen
I think I read the proceeding chapter first do I know how the story turns out, but this is still a stand alone chapter, so I don't mind reading and reviewing. It's funny how this grew from a small seed, sometimes writing has a mind of its own, and we know what a servant feels like. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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I think I read the proceeding chapter first do I know how the story turns out, but this is still a stand alone chapter, so I don't mind reading and reviewing. It's funny how this grew from a small seed, sometimes writing has a mind of its own, and we know what a servant feels like. Beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Thank you for reading, and all the stars! You are right on about the characters and the story just taking control, sometimes we are just along for the ride.
Cheers, irish
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I pleasure
Comment from Liz Westfall
This is very magical and enchanting. I can't say I've ever read anything in this arena before. I loved the imagery. I have to say I'm a little lost on the plot. I recognize this is a short piece, but I just felt a bit confused or rushed when it came to defining characters.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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This is very magical and enchanting. I can't say I've ever read anything in this arena before. I loved the imagery. I have to say I'm a little lost on the plot. I recognize this is a short piece, but I just felt a bit confused or rushed when it came to defining characters.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2022
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Hi Liz, thank you for reading and your comments. looking back, I should have expanded on the character and fleshed them out. I did go back and add to them, but the story had reached over 5,000 words at that point, so I had to rely on what I had.
Have another story posting soon, give me another shot and see if I do better this time.
Cheers, irish
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I look forward to reading!
Comment from Frank Malley
The elegant language and the confident tone of the narrator brought me quickly through the portion of a fantasy story. The section started with a quote from Yeats that mentioned a fairy, a staple being in Irish mythology, although in my own Irish-American past it was leprichauns my Irish uncle told us about. At any rate, this imaginative story covers a lot of ground coherently and entertainingly. I felt sad about the dragonfly's demise; yes, they are predators, but they are amazing to watch and wonderful in reducing the mosquito population.
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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The elegant language and the confident tone of the narrator brought me quickly through the portion of a fantasy story. The section started with a quote from Yeats that mentioned a fairy, a staple being in Irish mythology, although in my own Irish-American past it was leprichauns my Irish uncle told us about. At any rate, this imaginative story covers a lot of ground coherently and entertainingly. I felt sad about the dragonfly's demise; yes, they are predators, but they are amazing to watch and wonderful in reducing the mosquito population.
Comment Written 24-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 24-Aug-2022
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I am humbled! Thank you for reading, your great, in-depth comments, and that galaxy of stars! I took liberty here in mixing the Irish Mythology with that of the Welsh, a little zig-zag that we Irish are so good at. Had a lot of great help grammar-wise from the pros here on FS.
Cleona The Final Chapter is posted, if you have time.
Cheers,
irish
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Well. Now I, within the enormous cognitive limits so prevalent, know who you are. If you're named; if not, I'll have to go by style...
