Oh My!
A young fellow's relationships.39 total reviews
Comment from nomi338
Whaaaaaat? That did it. I am not trusting you anymore. I cannot allow you to keep fooling me time after time. My jaw is still on the floor. I think that from now on whenever I read one of your stories, I will be on the lookout for a surprise ending. This one knocked me for a complete loop. Congratulations. Your record for surprise endings is complete, and intact.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Whaaaaaat? That did it. I am not trusting you anymore. I cannot allow you to keep fooling me time after time. My jaw is still on the floor. I think that from now on whenever I read one of your stories, I will be on the lookout for a surprise ending. This one knocked me for a complete loop. Congratulations. Your record for surprise endings is complete, and intact.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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LOL, Thank you for the six stars! I am delighted to have dropped your jaw! And I loved your interview! Terry.
Comment from Susan Newell
Terry,
This is really funny. The early seeding of the punchline is terrific writing. I liked the dialogue between Cooper and Dr. Balew, then the two-line conversation into which one could read a great deal between the lines. The ending was priceless. "Cooper is the only one who calls me Dr. Balew."
So you get my third six. Look out Humpwhistle!
Sue
cream gravy. Then Cindy was going to show that fella a really good time. ==> gravy, then (Everything up to gravy is a clause.)
twenty-five dollar an hour -- I'd hyphenate the whole thing as an adjective
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Terry,
This is really funny. The early seeding of the punchline is terrific writing. I liked the dialogue between Cooper and Dr. Balew, then the two-line conversation into which one could read a great deal between the lines. The ending was priceless. "Cooper is the only one who calls me Dr. Balew."
So you get my third six. Look out Humpwhistle!
Sue
cream gravy. Then Cindy was going to show that fella a really good time. ==> gravy, then (Everything up to gravy is a clause.)
twenty-five dollar an hour -- I'd hyphenate the whole thing as an adjective
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Sue, thank you for the six and the edits. I am delighted you enjoyed the story. Terry.
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It is a very original story. You earned every star.
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Thanks
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:-) Bad news. Humpwhistle posted another Sunday great. But your running parallel with him now.
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Sue, I don't consider myself in completion with Humpwhistle, he is the gold standard on this website for stories.
The FanStory committee gave me some feedback very recently, and their conclusion was that my writing was amateurish at best.
I enjoy writing the stories I do, and on occasions, a few are pretty good.
I do enter a few contests, but I rarely win in a competitive contest, so I do know my place.
But thank you for your thoughts. Terry.
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And just who comprises the FanStory committee? You are improving all the time--learning to do more showing than telling, and delivering good plots. Don't underestimate yourself or let anonymous others discourage you. Remember, all writers have different styles and there is no rule book that says one is better than another. Writers can also enjoy nostalgia and memoirs and write good fiction. This was a particularly clever write.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
You started there and ended here and in between was a miasma of
helter-skelter imagination. I like it, and yet may need to re-read it to make sense of it.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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You started there and ended here and in between was a miasma of
helter-skelter imagination. I like it, and yet may need to re-read it to make sense of it.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Tom. thank you for reading and for your review. Terry.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I loved the surprise at the end. Who would have thought it. You did a great job, and I'm always ready to read your stories. Have a blessed Sunday. Shirley
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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I loved the surprise at the end. Who would have thought it. You did a great job, and I'm always ready to read your stories. Have a blessed Sunday. Shirley
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Shirley, Thank you for the six stars and your kind words. Terry.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Hah! Nice ending. But I don't believe it.
Very nice story. Very well written. Good work.
A truly entertaining 'How we met' story is rare - you have two for the same meet!
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Hah! Nice ending. But I don't believe it.
Very nice story. Very well written. Good work.
A truly entertaining 'How we met' story is rare - you have two for the same meet!
Best wishes.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Wayne, thank you for reading and reviewing my story. Terry.
Comment from Barry Penfold
lol. Enjoyed the read and the make up stories used to mask the truth of a start up relationship. Makes you think how many of those so called make up stories are out there.
Thanks.
Barry Penfold
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reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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lol. Enjoyed the read and the make up stories used to mask the truth of a start up relationship. Makes you think how many of those so called make up stories are out there.
Thanks.
Barry Penfold
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Barry, thank you for reading my little fun story. Terry.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Knowing your writing, I was wondering what kind of twist I'd get at the end of this story, lol! I can see "Dr. Balew" dressed in a suit and living Cooper's fantasy before she proceeded to do what she was hired to do. And I thought the 25 dollar fee was awfully cheap for a psychologist, even in those days.
Good read - enjoyed the dialogue, the pace, and the twist.
Your first paragraph - I think you've ended the sentence "If a fella had . . ." prematurely? Is it meant to be part of the last sentence?
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reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Knowing your writing, I was wondering what kind of twist I'd get at the end of this story, lol! I can see "Dr. Balew" dressed in a suit and living Cooper's fantasy before she proceeded to do what she was hired to do. And I thought the 25 dollar fee was awfully cheap for a psychologist, even in those days.
Good read - enjoyed the dialogue, the pace, and the twist.
Your first paragraph - I think you've ended the sentence "If a fella had . . ." prematurely? Is it meant to be part of the last sentence?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Pam, thank you for reading my little humorous stroy. Terry.
Comment from Julcia
cool, clever story. Well written dialogue. I had to reread this
story just to enjoy its structure. This is one enjoyable tale.
Julcia
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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cool, clever story. Well written dialogue. I had to reread this
story just to enjoy its structure. This is one enjoyable tale.
Julcia
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Julcia, thank you for the six stars and your very nice review! Terry.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Well, now that you're not spending so much time on the interviews, you really are turning out to be a wonderful weaver of stories. I love the way you use dialogue to move things along, and hope you are preparing a corker for the next dialogue only contest. Kate xx
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Well, now that you're not spending so much time on the interviews, you really are turning out to be a wonderful weaver of stories. I love the way you use dialogue to move things along, and hope you are preparing a corker for the next dialogue only contest. Kate xx
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Kate, thank you for the six stars and your kind review! Terry.
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I don't do kind. They were well-deserved words. The six was coz I enjoyed the whole thing so much. I'm working on my core beliefs today. I posted how I believe we should always try to behave, but I'm still reading and re-reading the poem I posted thursday to try and decide whether it's finished yet or not. Have a good Sunday, Kate xx
