Oh My!
A young fellow's relationships.39 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
1972 was my "remarkable year." I moved to Florida after a divorce, was on my own, and women were everywhere. What a year.
Just ten years older, go for it. Older women know all the tricks. I take it Dr. Balew is as female as Cindy was?
After 3rd ***
Para 7, 1st sentence: (twenty-five million dollar) should be (twenty-five- million-dollar) Hyphens
Para 9, 2nd sentence: SUGGEST adding quote marks around (wet behind the ears)
Now that was a twisted tale. A real fractured fairy tale. A young fellow's relationship indeed. Are you sure it is all fiction?
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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1972 was my "remarkable year." I moved to Florida after a divorce, was on my own, and women were everywhere. What a year.
Just ten years older, go for it. Older women know all the tricks. I take it Dr. Balew is as female as Cindy was?
After 3rd ***
Para 7, 1st sentence: (twenty-five million dollar) should be (twenty-five- million-dollar) Hyphens
Para 9, 2nd sentence: SUGGEST adding quote marks around (wet behind the ears)
Now that was a twisted tale. A real fractured fairy tale. A young fellow's relationship indeed. Are you sure it is all fiction?
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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LOL, absolutely fiction! Thanks for the edits. Terry
Comment from GWHARGIS
Dang, you did it again. I was not expecting that ending. I liked the narration and the first person prospective. Then you get the truthful overview. In third person. It's very hard to switch pov but you do it effortlessly. I am enjoying your work.
Gretchen
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Dang, you did it again. I was not expecting that ending. I liked the narration and the first person prospective. Then you get the truthful overview. In third person. It's very hard to switch pov but you do it effortlessly. I am enjoying your work.
Gretchen
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Gretchen, thank you for the six stars, I love your review, I am glad you enjoyed my humorous story!Terry
Comment from jessizero
Your story was entertaining and engaging. That ending actually made me laugh aloud. Keep up the good work! Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Your story was entertaining and engaging. That ending actually made me laugh aloud. Keep up the good work! Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Jessi thank you for your review, I am delighted you laughed. Terry
Comment from Sarah Robin
Another surprise ending! I loved it! You always do a nice job with your writing and your work is a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing this story. Sarah
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Another surprise ending! I loved it! You always do a nice job with your writing and your work is a pleasure to read. Thanks for sharing this story. Sarah
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Sarah, thank you for the six stars! I am delighted you enjoyed the story. Terry
Comment from Annmuma
Well, your stories continue to fascinate me! Not only sensational twist endings, but well-done hooks at the opening and middle that holds my interest. I had an ending in mind that you completely blew out of the water! Loved it. ann
Cindy not so much == If I were writing this, i would have separated Cindy from not with comma. Cindy, not so much. My thought is that it slows the reader's thought for a moment as it replaces unnecessary words. Personal choice of course. ann
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Well, your stories continue to fascinate me! Not only sensational twist endings, but well-done hooks at the opening and middle that holds my interest. I had an ending in mind that you completely blew out of the water! Loved it. ann
Cindy not so much == If I were writing this, i would have separated Cindy from not with comma. Cindy, not so much. My thought is that it slows the reader's thought for a moment as it replaces unnecessary words. Personal choice of course. ann
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Ann, thank you for the six stars, I will take a look at the edit suggestion. Terry.
Comment from Michaela Moore
The ending is priceless! I didn't see it coming. I love the dialogue between Cooper and his future wife the best! The dialogue is what actually reeled me in and made me start caring. I think you could actually write this again as a longer story. Maybe in "three acts." It is a beautiful and delightful story and deserves more attention and detail. I would love to read it in a more extended version.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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The ending is priceless! I didn't see it coming. I love the dialogue between Cooper and his future wife the best! The dialogue is what actually reeled me in and made me start caring. I think you could actually write this again as a longer story. Maybe in "three acts." It is a beautiful and delightful story and deserves more attention and detail. I would love to read it in a more extended version.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Michaela, thank you for your review. I appreciate your idea of an expanded story, but I am just a hack, so it will stay as is.
I loved your interview, I need to look at your portfolio closer. Our Texas lost was Alaska?s gain. Terry.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
What an interesting twist at the end!! I never caught on. You really did an interesting job writing this. I normally catch a twist before the ending. Not this time. I reealy enjoyed reading.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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What an interesting twist at the end!! I never caught on. You really did an interesting job writing this. I normally catch a twist before the ending. Not this time. I reealy enjoyed reading.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Barbara, thank you for reading I am delighted I fooled you for a while. Terry
Comment from humpwhistle
I see you're diving into fiction head first, Terry. Good for you. This is a neat little story with an unexpected ending. Nice job of setting--Fort Worth, chicken fried steaks, Texas two-step--it all works.
My only issue has to do with the dialogue--especially between Rachel and Otis. It feels a bit stilted. Instead of flowing naturally, I can feel the author below the surface stacking the deck with questions so he can give the answers he wants to. It's just a bit too tidy--in my humble opinion, of course.
Anyway, Terry, keep churning them out!
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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I see you're diving into fiction head first, Terry. Good for you. This is a neat little story with an unexpected ending. Nice job of setting--Fort Worth, chicken fried steaks, Texas two-step--it all works.
My only issue has to do with the dialogue--especially between Rachel and Otis. It feels a bit stilted. Instead of flowing naturally, I can feel the author below the surface stacking the deck with questions so he can give the answers he wants to. It's just a bit too tidy--in my humble opinion, of course.
Anyway, Terry, keep churning them out!
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Lee, I should tell you I?m enjoying what I have learned from you! I never thought I could do fiction, and while it is not great, it is fun. Thank you for showing me a way. Terry
Comment from John Ciarmello
Haha! Terry, this was a great story. I wasn't expecting the ending, but then again I never do with your stories. I think you're getting the hang of this writing business, lol. Great stuff my friend! best, JohnC.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Haha! Terry, this was a great story. I wasn't expecting the ending, but then again I never do with your stories. I think you're getting the hang of this writing business, lol. Great stuff my friend! best, JohnC.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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John, I am trying to get a handle on this fiction thing. Thanks to Humpwhistle I am learning. Terry
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You've chosen a great teacher
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
LOL!! That was such a great twist to this story, but it turned out to be a wonderful, romantic story, and Cooper won the girl and he soon made a fortune to keep her. I really enjoyed this two-part short story. I've just noticed the name of the artist you used here. Lol, Well done. Sandra xx
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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LOL!! That was such a great twist to this story, but it turned out to be a wonderful, romantic story, and Cooper won the girl and he soon made a fortune to keep her. I really enjoyed this two-part short story. I've just noticed the name of the artist you used here. Lol, Well done. Sandra xx
Comment Written 11-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2022
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Sandra, thank you very much for your fun review, Terry.
