Bedtime Marathon
Outlasting the new babysitter7 total reviews
Comment from Michaela Moore
Knock-Knock!
Whose There?
Boo! I loved your funny poem!
This poem made me think of Calvin and Hobbes comic strips and their antics with the babysitter! HA! Your word play with this little joke was a delight all wrapped up in sinister-childish fun! It made me want to be a kid again. I miss having the freedom of society to be full of mischief.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
  |
Knock-Knock!
Whose There?
Boo! I loved your funny poem!
This poem made me think of Calvin and Hobbes comic strips and their antics with the babysitter! HA! Your word play with this little joke was a delight all wrapped up in sinister-childish fun! It made me want to be a kid again. I miss having the freedom of society to be full of mischief.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
-
I've discovered that, with the right friends, you can continue to be mischievous all your life!! (That's why I've gravitated toward you, I do believe!! Thanks for the nice review. xo
Comment from Thomas Blanks
First, let me say I'm sorry for not giving you individual feedback on your poem before. I think you perfectly conveyed the sense of exasperation that a babysitter or even a parent might feel with a child who might have had one too many cans of Mountain Dew. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt! Then I got sauced.
All the best.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
|
First, let me say I'm sorry for not giving you individual feedback on your poem before. I think you perfectly conveyed the sense of exasperation that a babysitter or even a parent might feel with a child who might have had one too many cans of Mountain Dew. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt! Then I got sauced.
All the best.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
-
okay.
Comment from Michele Harber
This is very funny, original, and certainly relatable to anyone who's ever taken care of a child who thinks he has a sense of humor. I particularly liked the "Stop it! QUIT!" verse.
I enjoyed it up until I read the "Frickin WHAT!" verse. I don't know if this was simply a deliberate stylistic choice, but I found it disconcerting because it threw off an otherwise fairly consistent rhythm. If you want it to keep the same rhythm, and keep the "Frickin WHAT!" line, the best I can suggest (but it's not great) is "And now your door I'll lock," without the "[forever...]."
Better, if you're willing to change the verse that much, is
Knock, knock!
Please, NO MORE!
Boo!
And now I'll lock your door!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
|
This is very funny, original, and certainly relatable to anyone who's ever taken care of a child who thinks he has a sense of humor. I particularly liked the "Stop it! QUIT!" verse.
I enjoyed it up until I read the "Frickin WHAT!" verse. I don't know if this was simply a deliberate stylistic choice, but I found it disconcerting because it threw off an otherwise fairly consistent rhythm. If you want it to keep the same rhythm, and keep the "Frickin WHAT!" line, the best I can suggest (but it's not great) is "And now your door I'll lock," without the "[forever...]."
Better, if you're willing to change the verse that much, is
Knock, knock!
Please, NO MORE!
Boo!
And now I'll lock your door!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
-
Thanks. But that was a deliberate I'm-Too-Gone-Now-To-Care feeling being expressed by the poor thing. It was the equivalent of a White Flag in all its glory--the denouement after her mounting frustration. The rhythm and rhyme did return at least, though, as she imagined rewarding herself with a bender.
-
OK, I understand what you're saying. It doesn't work for me, but that doesn't mean it won't work for others.
-
I understand.
Comment from judiverse
I remember those Knock! Knock! jokes. They were popular when I was a kid. I just posted an article about National Tell a Joke week and included an example of one. These are so funny. There is such a persistence about the knocker. Great use of rhyme. I think the repetition is funny, and so the reaction to Boo! You can see the frustration building. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
|
I remember those Knock! Knock! jokes. They were popular when I was a kid. I just posted an article about National Tell a Joke week and included an example of one. These are so funny. There is such a persistence about the knocker. Great use of rhyme. I think the repetition is funny, and so the reaction to Boo! You can see the frustration building. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
-
I'll have to check that out! Thanks for the tip. And thanks, also, for the well-wishes with the contest!
Comment from karenina
Yes! Thanks for revealing the truest thoughts a mom is feeling when it's one of those nights...
Time for "Mommy-Juice" for sure!
I remember singing "You are My Sunshine" through gritted teeth...
(I loved them to pieces but hey, it's bedtime!)
I bet a lot of parents will relate...
Fun!
Karenina
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
|
Yes! Thanks for revealing the truest thoughts a mom is feeling when it's one of those nights...
Time for "Mommy-Juice" for sure!
I remember singing "You are My Sunshine" through gritted teeth...
(I loved them to pieces but hey, it's bedtime!)
I bet a lot of parents will relate...
Fun!
Karenina
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
-
Hahaha--"mommy juice"; that's a new one for me, but I love it. And I love the image of "You Are My Sunshine" between gritted teeth. I love this review; thank you!
Comment from lyenochka
I guess this is a typical scenario with little ones who are immune to repetition. Somehow the same silly joke can be repeated ad infinitum and it seems just as funny as the first time. But at the end of life with dementia, it could be like that, too. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
|
I guess this is a typical scenario with little ones who are immune to repetition. Somehow the same silly joke can be repeated ad infinitum and it seems just as funny as the first time. But at the end of life with dementia, it could be like that, too. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
-
Oh, are you ever right on the money with THAT assessment!!
Thanks for the well-wishes!
Comment from Gunner Lil
A great job, a fun piece too. An easy read with great flow and pace as always from your work.
Played knock-knock jokes many times with my kids.
Thank you.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
|
A great job, a fun piece too. An easy read with great flow and pace as always from your work.
Played knock-knock jokes many times with my kids.
Thank you.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
-
Oh, Gunner Lil, you sweet-talkin' reviewer, you! Thank you!
I fell in love with an eight-year-old boy at a second-grade moving-up ceremony who, in the "talent" segment of the show, stood center stage, his hand in one pocket, recited knock-knock jokes from a book he was holding. He had the entire audience eating out of his hand!! I will NEVER forget that memory!!
-
LOL
