The Tor
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "The Dishwasher"Adventures around & upon a hill
10 total reviews
Comment from Mabaker12
I DON'T KNOW IF MY comment will mean a great deal Liz as I haven't read the 'before' story. But I'll work on this chapter. I've awarded you five as I'm reading a piece of writing not the continuation of a story. So I found the dialogue very good and natural, perhaps a word in your ear. If you put a short 'story so far for us who haven't read the front part. All in all a great piece of writing. Sincerely Anne
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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I DON'T KNOW IF MY comment will mean a great deal Liz as I haven't read the 'before' story. But I'll work on this chapter. I've awarded you five as I'm reading a piece of writing not the continuation of a story. So I found the dialogue very good and natural, perhaps a word in your ear. If you put a short 'story so far for us who haven't read the front part. All in all a great piece of writing. Sincerely Anne
Comment Written 22-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
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You're here...yay. Thank you for your efforts at reviewing this chapter.
It is difficult coming in cold. If you are interested, it is about a real trip to England but tweaked to go 'Twilight Zone ish' The first 18 chapters are about the power spots we visited, along with a crop circle. All with discussion about the Michael & Mary ley lines. This was building up to an idea of a sense we'd gotten, that we'd been there before. There were some pretty horrible things that happened. So I decided to write about them. You are welcome to scan through my portfolio to read any chapters leading up to this chapter. You could begin on chapter 16 to get into it. No need for a review, just enjoy.
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Thank you dear Liz but will you please put your phone number in so I can ring you!
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My phone #
802 365 7217
Comment from dellsworthpoet
I am glad to see this story continuing. The flow is good. The thoughts about changing sexes were unexpected, but informative. The general feel is one of released tension. A very nice change from the previous tension.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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I am glad to see this story continuing. The flow is good. The thoughts about changing sexes were unexpected, but informative. The general feel is one of released tension. A very nice change from the previous tension.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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Thank for your lovely review. I'm pleased you liked it.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Jasmine Girl
This is quite a discussion about the words "prostrate", lying down and the word "Prostate", male sexual organ. This must be older ladies' talk. I haven't had such conversion yet. It's fun to hear about the spoon. I hear that sometimes, some people had to be spoon-fed in order to have a kid.
Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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This is quite a discussion about the words "prostrate", lying down and the word "Prostate", male sexual organ. This must be older ladies' talk. I haven't had such conversion yet. It's fun to hear about the spoon. I hear that sometimes, some people had to be spoon-fed in order to have a kid.
Well done.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Jay Squires
It's good to be learnng from the "cast" in the 21st century the roles played in the monastery.
We finally began sharing, but true to form, I was probably talking too much. But I promised them they could tell their stories.[I find when I use "but" in the first sentence, it's better to start the next sentence with "therefore" or other synonym to avoid that echo. A minor point, but I thought you might like my perspective.]
When you were lying prostate, I mean prostrate, [Haha!]
Now I knew. Bhaaa [The "Bhaaa" is vague.]
Mary Jo was making a face that we all echoed. [I don't care for the use of "echoed" since it's an audio image, not a visual one.]
slapped their laps, [perhaps "slapped their thighs". "laps" sound more central ... and painful]
The ladies are back in the 21st century slowly reflecting upon their experience with Madeline as narrator
[Liz, why don't you have this part at the opening, not the end. Others, with little familiarity, may find that helpful before they get into the dialogue.]
Coming along nicely, Liz.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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It's good to be learnng from the "cast" in the 21st century the roles played in the monastery.
We finally began sharing, but true to form, I was probably talking too much. But I promised them they could tell their stories.[I find when I use "but" in the first sentence, it's better to start the next sentence with "therefore" or other synonym to avoid that echo. A minor point, but I thought you might like my perspective.]
When you were lying prostate, I mean prostrate, [Haha!]
Now I knew. Bhaaa [The "Bhaaa" is vague.]
Mary Jo was making a face that we all echoed. [I don't care for the use of "echoed" since it's an audio image, not a visual one.]
slapped their laps, [perhaps "slapped their thighs". "laps" sound more central ... and painful]
The ladies are back in the 21st century slowly reflecting upon their experience with Madeline as narrator
[Liz, why don't you have this part at the opening, not the end. Others, with little familiarity, may find that helpful before they get into the dialogue.]
Coming along nicely, Liz.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thank you for delightful review. You observation are copied & pasted for damage control. Just quickly...how valuable: "but" in the first sentence, it's better to start the next sentence with "therefore" Always looking to tighten up. Thank you for caring.
Comment from jessizero
Seeing the ladies reflect on their time in the sixteenth century felt like catching up with old friends. I realize their time wasn't pleasant, but I enjoyed reading their reactions. Thanks again for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Seeing the ladies reflect on their time in the sixteenth century felt like catching up with old friends. I realize their time wasn't pleasant, but I enjoyed reading their reactions. Thanks again for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your delightful review. I'm so happy you are enjoying it.
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a hoot, Liz, especially the comments about the awkwardness of being male. And Madeline had to wash all those wooden dishes and cutlery! Glad they're back in the 21st century and able to laugh about it.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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This is a hoot, Liz, especially the comments about the awkwardness of being male. And Madeline had to wash all those wooden dishes and cutlery! Glad they're back in the 21st century and able to laugh about it.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your lovely review. Someone said it was not exciting enough. They clearly have not gotten the tenor of the chapters. We are winding down, kind of summarizing.
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You're welcome, Liz. We needed some relief from what had been happening. I think you're right. Those mustn't have been following along.
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Your'e most welcome, judi. I agree with you.
Comment from aryr
This was indeed a fantastic continuation chapter, Liz. It was great that they were all together as males even though Madeline/Brother Samuel was indirectly punished. I am sorry but I had to laugh once again that they were each breastless and had junk between their legs, as all men do. Adjustments were the thing of the day, lol. And Cordelia/Brother Stephen was a dishwasher. This was a great chapter. Very well done, greatly enjoyed.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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This was indeed a fantastic continuation chapter, Liz. It was great that they were all together as males even though Madeline/Brother Samuel was indirectly punished. I am sorry but I had to laugh once again that they were each breastless and had junk between their legs, as all men do. Adjustments were the thing of the day, lol. And Cordelia/Brother Stephen was a dishwasher. This was a great chapter. Very well done, greatly enjoyed.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your lovely review. Someone said it was not exciting enough. They clearly have not gotten the tenor of the chapters. We are winding down, kind of summarizing.
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You are most welcome, Liz. I eagerly await...
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This was a good start to filling in what happened back in the monastery, but I feel that you will have to tread a fine line so as not to over-tell about that experience again. Kate xx
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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This was a good start to filling in what happened back in the monastery, but I feel that you will have to tread a fine line so as not to over-tell about that experience again. Kate xx
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. This is a bit of a review before the winding down. This has a note of realism that is not always exciting. They are worn out.
Comment from lyenochka
It's good to hear from the ladies about their adapting to their male bodies and who was who and doing what when. It's interesting that Cordelia had that job that kept her less visible to the others.
Comments:
votexed into the 16th century, (vortexed?)
There were some text highlighted in white.
Cordelia ?" (no space) the question mark was all by itself on one line on my screen, anyway.
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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It's good to hear from the ladies about their adapting to their male bodies and who was who and doing what when. It's interesting that Cordelia had that job that kept her less visible to the others.
Comments:
votexed into the 16th century, (vortexed?)
There were some text highlighted in white.
Cordelia ?" (no space) the question mark was all by itself on one line on my screen, anyway.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your observant review. Someone said this wasn't exciting enough. I don't think they've gotten the whole tenor of the chapter.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This section seems a little slow. No one was in a hurry to tell who she was except Cordelia and Madeline. Although their jokes about the man equipment were rather amusing.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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This section seems a little slow. No one was in a hurry to tell who she was except Cordelia and Madeline. Although their jokes about the man equipment were rather amusing.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your involved review. We are winding down with summarizing for people..