Been Around a Bush or Two
A senior with a positive outlook16 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
I guess, if the truth is known, we've all dallied behind a bush or two. But it isn't often that a person of obvious character and conscience is willing to admit it. LOL. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2022
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I guess, if the truth is known, we've all dallied behind a bush or two. But it isn't often that a person of obvious character and conscience is willing to admit it. LOL. Thanks for sharing. Wish I had a six.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2022
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Thanks Ric,
I think the opposite. I think a person of real character and conscience readily admit they are flawed. I have dallied and even planted a bush for dallying, LOL Thanks for reading and commenting on my poems.
Comment from Michaela Moore
My friend, this whole poem is most enduring and such scrumptious delights made from words and images most dear. These lines took my breath away with the diction and figurative language:
She may be a two-timed widow,
but she states life has weathered her fair.
Chiseled lines of sweetbread goodness
And sugar-cured acceptance crease her face.
I almost cried from how brilliantly perfect every morsel of those four lines is. What a wordsmith you are!
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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My friend, this whole poem is most enduring and such scrumptious delights made from words and images most dear. These lines took my breath away with the diction and figurative language:
She may be a two-timed widow,
but she states life has weathered her fair.
Chiseled lines of sweetbread goodness
And sugar-cured acceptance crease her face.
I almost cried from how brilliantly perfect every morsel of those four lines is. What a wordsmith you are!
Comment Written 19-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
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You are blessing me with such words of praise amf support. Thank you for being so generous.
Comment from judiverse
What a delightful glimpse into the life of this spunky woman, and good luck in the contest. You include some great description such as "lines of sweetbread goodness" and "sugar-cured acceptance." When you used "twice-timed" widow, it makes it sound like her husbands cheated on her. If that isn't what you meant, you might want to change the wording so it won't be misleading. judi
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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What a delightful glimpse into the life of this spunky woman, and good luck in the contest. You include some great description such as "lines of sweetbread goodness" and "sugar-cured acceptance." When you used "twice-timed" widow, it makes it sound like her husbands cheated on her. If that isn't what you meant, you might want to change the wording so it won't be misleading. judi
Comment Written 18-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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I was hoping when the reader saw two-timed widow that he or she would think death especially after the beginning. Thanks for reading my poem.
Comment from harmony13
The author's word are engaging and I was attracted to the title of the poem. I found myself relating to these words as I am a senior too! I
also identified with some of author's the humor throughout this poem. The artwork is the BEST and compliments these words!
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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The author's word are engaging and I was attracted to the title of the poem. I found myself relating to these words as I am a senior too! I
also identified with some of author's the humor throughout this poem. The artwork is the BEST and compliments these words!
Comment Written 18-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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Thank you for reading and rating my poem.
Comment from Eternal Muse
She sounds like a jolly witch of a woman (lol). What an amazing portrait. Just loved it.
Excellent imagery, visuals and a stunning artwork chosen that compliments the poem well.
Your text font, even bolded, was a bit jarring to my eyes. Perhaps using a darker text font will enhance the presentation. Maybe my failing eyes are talking here (lol), and you can feel free to disregard this suggestion in its entirety.
A lovely poem, I enjoyed it very much.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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She sounds like a jolly witch of a woman (lol). What an amazing portrait. Just loved it.
Excellent imagery, visuals and a stunning artwork chosen that compliments the poem well.
Your text font, even bolded, was a bit jarring to my eyes. Perhaps using a darker text font will enhance the presentation. Maybe my failing eyes are talking here (lol), and you can feel free to disregard this suggestion in its entirety.
A lovely poem, I enjoyed it very much.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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Thank you, I made the text dark brown. There needed to be more of a contrast between font color and background color. You are sounding like me.... failing eyes ...lol... stop teasing!
Comment from Marienkiefer
I find this poem quite spunky and vibrant, and a very lovely, playful display.
Sparkling in this poem: your main character, a lady who has weathered many of the ups and downs of life and, of course, has been in a few hilarious situations herself.
Very well written, nice presentation.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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I find this poem quite spunky and vibrant, and a very lovely, playful display.
Sparkling in this poem: your main character, a lady who has weathered many of the ups and downs of life and, of course, has been in a few hilarious situations herself.
Very well written, nice presentation.
Comment Written 18-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2022
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Thank you, for your supportive comments and rating.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Naughty may be in the eyes of the beholder but the story originates before it is seen. Where oh where have you been besides the dalliance behind the trees? Fact or fiction? Who cares? Good luck.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Naughty may be in the eyes of the beholder but the story originates before it is seen. Where oh where have you been besides the dalliance behind the trees? Fact or fiction? Who cares? Good luck.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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I am like the old woman I speak about. LOL Thanks for reading my poems and rating it.
Comment from Thomas Blanks
I have to admit that I have always had a hard time with poetry that doesn't rhyme. I even make my haiku rhyme, which people tell me I shouldn't. I'm not telling you your poem should rhyme. People can do whatever they want with their poems - that's the beauty of it. The story behind the words is more important. I'm sorry for not giving you individual feedback before.
Regards
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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I have to admit that I have always had a hard time with poetry that doesn't rhyme. I even make my haiku rhyme, which people tell me I shouldn't. I'm not telling you your poem should rhyme. People can do whatever they want with their poems - that's the beauty of it. The story behind the words is more important. I'm sorry for not giving you individual feedback before.
Regards
Comment Written 17-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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I would rather know that I got a 4 because of something I needed to improve on rather than think I got a group grade based on who you gave a 5. However, thanks for letting me know your reason. I promise to give you at any point a score based solely on your creative efforts.
Comment from Annmuma
you did make me laugh and I, as I am sure many others, found myself identifying with your character. Great contest entry. Good luck. My favorite line is "Laughing as if she owns laughter". What a great way o describe laughter and to allow the reader to hear it echoing, ann
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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you did make me laugh and I, as I am sure many others, found myself identifying with your character. Great contest entry. Good luck. My favorite line is "Laughing as if she owns laughter". What a great way o describe laughter and to allow the reader to hear it echoing, ann
Comment Written 17-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thanks, I too identify with this woman. I am much like her. I appreciate your comments on my entry. Thank you.
Comment from Erika Seshadri
Ha! This is great. It made me smile, it made me laugh, it even made me ponder death.
Love the winking picture.
Best of luck In the contest! It should do well.
Take care,
Erika
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Ha! This is great. It made me smile, it made me laugh, it even made me ponder death.
Love the winking picture.
Best of luck In the contest! It should do well.
Take care,
Erika
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your supportive comments and rating my poem. Thank you again for critiquing my 5-7-5 entry. it won and I know your review and suggestions helped.
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You are welcome! I was celebrating with you at the voting results :)
~Erika
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Thanks! You were on point.
