Crazy Story
Revised Sweet Chaos/A Novel of the Breedline series5 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
Excellent chapter, and I'm glad the two officers are beginning to learn the truth of the situation they face. You did a great job, and I'm always ready for more. Shirley
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
Excellent chapter, and I'm glad the two officers are beginning to learn the truth of the situation they face. You did a great job, and I'm always ready for more. Shirley
Comment Written 17-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Shirley :) Yes, the two officers discover that the world isn't always what it seems. But now, they are better prepared for what they might encounter. Thanks for the encouraging feedback. It keeps me motivated.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I remember reading some part of this story probably more than a year ago and you have grown a great deal as a writer. You are now showing the story rather than telling it. That took me about twenty years of achieve. This is very well-written, has been carefully edited, and it captured my interest.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
I remember reading some part of this story probably more than a year ago and you have grown a great deal as a writer. You are now showing the story rather than telling it. That took me about twenty years of achieve. This is very well-written, has been carefully edited, and it captured my interest.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much, Carol :) I'm so thrilled you remember this. Yes, I am finally going back and recreating a better story. Thanks so much for the encouraging words and generous stars. It does take time to enhance writing skills, but thankfully, it gets easier along the way. I appreciate your kind words. It means a great deal to me.
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from Erika Seshadri
This is a solid piece of writing. A little heavy on the dialogue and light on descriptive details and character actions, but overall, very nice.
Have a fantastic day,
Erika
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
This is a solid piece of writing. A little heavy on the dialogue and light on descriptive details and character actions, but overall, very nice.
Have a fantastic day,
Erika
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much, Erika :) It's so awesome to get positive feedback. You made my day! I appreciate it!
Sincerely,
Shana :)
Comment from royowen
This is a fantastic tale, and now we know why Jace really struggled when Alexander was delivered from what possesses him, and really it was justified at the time. You're doing a fantastic job of rearranging the story, and I guess that's what's needed to produce a great asset. I'm amazed at your talent, and I consider the Harry Potter books and their popularity, and then there's deserving you. Beautifully written Shana, blessings Roy
Typo : Go any further (than) these walls.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
This is a fantastic tale, and now we know why Jace really struggled when Alexander was delivered from what possesses him, and really it was justified at the time. You're doing a fantastic job of rearranging the story, and I guess that's what's needed to produce a great asset. I'm amazed at your talent, and I consider the Harry Potter books and their popularity, and then there's deserving you. Beautifully written Shana, blessings Roy
Typo : Go any further (than) these walls.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much, my friend :) I'm glad you are seeing the story play out and make sense. It's coming together slowly but surely.
I'm honored to be mentioned in the same sentence as the Harry Potter books. Wow! That's the greatest compliment ever! Thank you! And thanks for catching my typo too. You're the best!
Always your fan,
Shana :)
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I think your stories are better Shana, and original
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I'm on cloud nine! Thank you, Roy! :)
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I pray for your success dear girl
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Wolves are my favorite animals. Some notes:
-"further these walls" appears to be missing the word "than" which would make the sentence read farther than these walls.
-Quite a story Jackson relays to the police officers.
-Dialogue seemed natural for the storyline.
-Posting appears to be a means to provide backstory on Alexander.
-Should "the one who asked if we could stay" be the one who asked if they could stay?
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
Wolves are my favorite animals. Some notes:
-"further these walls" appears to be missing the word "than" which would make the sentence read farther than these walls.
-Quite a story Jackson relays to the police officers.
-Dialogue seemed natural for the storyline.
-Posting appears to be a means to provide backstory on Alexander.
-Should "the one who asked if we could stay" be the one who asked if they could stay?
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Thanks so much, Brett :) Glad you like wolves. So do I. They are so majestic. I love writing about them, too!
I appreciate the helpful tips and catching my typos. This is very helpful. Alexander's background story is in the first chapter in my profile of revised Sweet Chaos/A Novel of the Breedline series.
Thanks again!
Sincerely,
Shana :)