The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer 17"America's First Female Comic
24 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Once again, I'm far behind in reviewing. I can't seem to both write and review every day. Poor Fanny seems to be suffering as she gets to the end of her tale. It's a pity that the reporter has to virtually drag information from her. Interesting complication with Peter in the mix. It appears he is the one who manipulates Juni and gets her fired up to take revenge, which Elizabeth was unable to carry out. Excellent to bring in the Sojourner Truth funeral and the long-lost son into the story. judi
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2022
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Once again, I'm far behind in reviewing. I can't seem to both write and review every day. Poor Fanny seems to be suffering as she gets to the end of her tale. It's a pity that the reporter has to virtually drag information from her. Interesting complication with Peter in the mix. It appears he is the one who manipulates Juni and gets her fired up to take revenge, which Elizabeth was unable to carry out. Excellent to bring in the Sojourner Truth funeral and the long-lost son into the story. judi
Comment Written 01-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2022
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Thank you, Judi! I understand getting behind. I have a balancing act, myself, between reviewing, writing, and studying my Spanish. I'm glad you like the way it's turning the corner with Juniper's motivation. I had a devil of a time with that.
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You're very welcome. I think Peter's letter helped with that. It was clever of you to bring in him and the Sojourner Truth connection. judi
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I meant to mention to you that if you have a chance before Saturday to read the next scene (Cha. 18) before you read this Saturday's post, it will save yourself "a spoiler". Then, Saturday's post will be the first of a three-part epilogue.
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Jay,
I actually like the fact that this was pieced together by Fanny rather than it being first-hand. It adds more to it, depicting of the time as well when piecing together events was more the norm.
It would be too easy almost for her to have been there at the time. It would also, in some ways, diminish Fanny's involvement in almost turning Juni around. If she was there, she have been defeated at an earlier stage by the mere persuasion of the spoken words. having the letters is more persuasive in a way as Juni could revisit them more easily time and time again to solidify her will, if you see what i mean.
I don' spect as so. I don' 'spect my Juni- just looking at the phrases back to back here one uses 2 apostrophes , the other only 1.
Good stuff
G
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Hi Jay,
I actually like the fact that this was pieced together by Fanny rather than it being first-hand. It adds more to it, depicting of the time as well when piecing together events was more the norm.
It would be too easy almost for her to have been there at the time. It would also, in some ways, diminish Fanny's involvement in almost turning Juni around. If she was there, she have been defeated at an earlier stage by the mere persuasion of the spoken words. having the letters is more persuasive in a way as Juni could revisit them more easily time and time again to solidify her will, if you see what i mean.
I don' spect as so. I don' 'spect my Juni- just looking at the phrases back to back here one uses 2 apostrophes , the other only 1.
Good stuff
G
Comment Written 28-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2022
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Agggg! Two apostrophe goofs so close together. I'll take care of that.
You know, I appear to be the only one who wishes I had had the foresight to have Fanny at the funeral with Juni. Others felt as you, though you expressed it more articulately. I was just having so much trouble turning the corner on Juni's motivation for killing Flourney. Thank you for picking up this scene, G. I always feel special when you review my work.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Jay, I think we are a little closer to the end. I am not 100% convinced. I think it must be very hard to stay "in character" so long with this dialect. I admire your perseverance.
I would have copped out a while back with Fanny telling Robert, "I never did know what bee got her bonnet about killing that man, but if I ever found the bee, I would have stomped them out, so I wouldn't have lost Juni.''
But you got a lot of Fanny fans, that would not have like that, that is why you are the great story teller! Terry.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Jay, I think we are a little closer to the end. I am not 100% convinced. I think it must be very hard to stay "in character" so long with this dialect. I admire your perseverance.
I would have copped out a while back with Fanny telling Robert, "I never did know what bee got her bonnet about killing that man, but if I ever found the bee, I would have stomped them out, so I wouldn't have lost Juni.''
But you got a lot of Fanny fans, that would not have like that, that is why you are the great story teller! Terry.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2022
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Yes, it surprises me to no end. I have a lot of Fanny fans. Yeah, I could have made your line of dialogue work Want a part-time job as a stand-in? I think you'll enjoy the final Fanny scene. Let me know. Thanks, Terry.
JS
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Thanks for the job offer, but I tell what I think I would like is a review of a fiction satire I recently wrote called, "So, You want to be Published." I actually sent it to the New Yorker along with another fiction story. "The Super Lawyer."
You are one of the few I know who were published, so your opinion of the satire would be interesting to me...good, bad, or indifferent. I am sorry the member dollars for reading have expired.
But look for a gift in your message box to help the artist. Terry.
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Terry, I thought I already read that, but even if I did, it wasn't with that in mind, so I'll happily read it again. But you say you already sent it in. The New Yorker is a tough nut to crack. Give me an hour or so.
JS
Comment from Ulla
Yeah, Jay, it might have been the logic thing to do just that. But then what? Hindsight is a rather pointless exercise. Besides, the story and the play would never have been so rich as it is. We now have the joy of Fanny's company for so much longer.
Well, enough of that. Your fishing expedition has been accomplished, Lol.
Here, things are not so good. An update is on its way. The fire is out of control, despite a momentous effort to bring it out. Wind, heat and difficult terrain is hampering all efforts. Thanks for your friendship. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Yeah, Jay, it might have been the logic thing to do just that. But then what? Hindsight is a rather pointless exercise. Besides, the story and the play would never have been so rich as it is. We now have the joy of Fanny's company for so much longer.
Well, enough of that. Your fishing expedition has been accomplished, Lol.
Here, things are not so good. An update is on its way. The fire is out of control, despite a momentous effort to bring it out. Wind, heat and difficult terrain is hampering all efforts. Thanks for your friendship. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Ulla, you have more important things to do than read this play. I glory over it just the same. Thank you for the six stars. You are so supportive when you should be thinking of your own hide!
Jay
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I know, but I'm trying to think of something else as well although, admittedly, it's a bit difficult to do so.
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I know, but I'm trying to think of something else as well although, admittedly, it's a bit difficult to do so.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
I think having her at the funeral would simply have gotten us to the same place as we currently are--Miss Fanny has gone over the words in the letter hundreds of time, just like she would have with the words Peter spoke at the funeral.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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I think having her at the funeral would simply have gotten us to the same place as we currently are--Miss Fanny has gone over the words in the letter hundreds of time, just like she would have with the words Peter spoke at the funeral.
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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Good, Tim. Thanks. Your feelings on the subject mean a lot to me. Most of the readers seem to have the same opinion.
Jay
Comment from Fleedleflump
This is like a dissertation on the subject of memory and how it can be individualised to take on new meaning - I was thinking it as I read Fanny's recitations, and then the letter uses the same theme. This is how history is built, from the imperfect bricks of earnest recollection. Beautifully written, my friend.
Mike
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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This is like a dissertation on the subject of memory and how it can be individualised to take on new meaning - I was thinking it as I read Fanny's recitations, and then the letter uses the same theme. This is how history is built, from the imperfect bricks of earnest recollection. Beautifully written, my friend.
Mike
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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"This is how history is built, from the imperfect bricks of earnest recollection." I like that a LOT! Those words are Lincolnesque. They deserve to proceed from the mouth of someone of his stature. Ah, Mike, thank you for your support, and for that sentence. It shouldn't go to waste, now should it?
Comment from Liz O'Neill
You may have described this metaphorical setting this way before, but it caught me tonight: "of vintage 1929 cars, some horse whinnying, etc., that continue as a kind stew of white-noise background throughout the scene." You have many other metaphors here too, too many to enumerate. One of my favorite expressions: "Oh, pshaw!" He just wouldn't give up: " then they's the pwoisons from th' letters--they be like two flocks o' butterflies" In answer to your question: " Wouldn't it have been better than having Fanny explain how she remembered Juni's and Uncle Peter's words so clearly because she had repeated them a hundred times." I like how you wrote it. I like how the reader really leans in as Fanny stretches to remember her words. The reader is stretching with her. If she just reported as she actually saw & heard, it would lose something. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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You may have described this metaphorical setting this way before, but it caught me tonight: "of vintage 1929 cars, some horse whinnying, etc., that continue as a kind stew of white-noise background throughout the scene." You have many other metaphors here too, too many to enumerate. One of my favorite expressions: "Oh, pshaw!" He just wouldn't give up: " then they's the pwoisons from th' letters--they be like two flocks o' butterflies" In answer to your question: " Wouldn't it have been better than having Fanny explain how she remembered Juni's and Uncle Peter's words so clearly because she had repeated them a hundred times." I like how you wrote it. I like how the reader really leans in as Fanny stretches to remember her words. The reader is stretching with her. If she just reported as she actually saw & heard, it would lose something. Well done.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2022
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However well-done the scene was, your review trumps it. Thank you for making Fanny (and me) feel so worthwhile. I'm working on the final scene now, but with editing and revising, it probably won't get a showing until the Saturday following this one.
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Thank you
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Jay,
Terrific scene! Here I was putting the blame on Aunt Pikki. But all along, it was Uncle Peter who recruited Juni to do the dirty work of killing Thurston Flourney. Peter was persuasive. I don't know if he was a genius, though. One thing for sure, he was a coward. He was also conniving, a manipulator. A schemer. No doubt about it, he wanted revenge just as much as Lizabeth did. But she was brave. He was not.
It is good that you didn't have Fanny at the funeral. If she had been there, Uncle Peter would not have been able to feed Juni so much crap about the law...
"They be da law of man, and den they be da law what be right. They be a whole tangle o' laws, afore abulishun what 'llowed the white massur to own slaves, but thet cain't be the law o' what be right. Cain't be! Ain't no man should own another. Ain't thet right, Juniper?"
and,
"Den they be th' law thet 'llowed da Army o' Uriel mob what lynched yo' daddy--who be my sist'rin's law-'bidin' husband--to go skat-free. Oh, I seed the papers! Oh, yeah, I readed 'em all. An' I readed 'bout you bein' at da trial--you be all growed up now, but you be a chil' then with yer rag baby ... an' I cried fo' you, Juniper."
Without Fanny there, Juni was an easy target for her crook of an uncle. How could he live with himself with Juni in prison for life?
This was the "poison worm" that hooked Juni...
"An' den I got angry, my purty li'l niece, I got blist'rin angry when I heered thet yer mama's plans got cut short by two strokes what leaves th' fire in her gut, but takes 'way th' arms an' legs she be needin' to carry out her plans. 'Don' thet make you blist'rin angry, too, Juniper? Huh, don' it?"
Uncle Peter was a villain. If it wasn't for him, the reckoning would have been cut short with Lizabeth's strokes. And Juniper would have never gone to prison. Thurston Flourney would have got his verdict from God on Judgement Day. Likewise for his hooded buddies, and for all Ku Klux Klan members who hanged innocent blacks back in the day. They will pay for their hatred.
As a poet, my favorite part of this scene was the Reporter's speech:
"Let me just get that. " ... drop that poison worm in her beak." Honestly, Miss Fanny, it must be your years of entertaining, but you could be a poet."
Looking forward to the next scene, Jay. That train will be pulling into the station shortly. I thought I could make out the whistle all the way from here.
I'm still thinking that going through this bitter story will be too much for Fanny. She will be reunited with Juni in the very near future. That's another thing I can hear... the creak of a rocking chair. What's making the rocker move? Is it Juni's ghost or a gentle breeze?
Awesome work, Jay!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Hi Jay,
Terrific scene! Here I was putting the blame on Aunt Pikki. But all along, it was Uncle Peter who recruited Juni to do the dirty work of killing Thurston Flourney. Peter was persuasive. I don't know if he was a genius, though. One thing for sure, he was a coward. He was also conniving, a manipulator. A schemer. No doubt about it, he wanted revenge just as much as Lizabeth did. But she was brave. He was not.
It is good that you didn't have Fanny at the funeral. If she had been there, Uncle Peter would not have been able to feed Juni so much crap about the law...
"They be da law of man, and den they be da law what be right. They be a whole tangle o' laws, afore abulishun what 'llowed the white massur to own slaves, but thet cain't be the law o' what be right. Cain't be! Ain't no man should own another. Ain't thet right, Juniper?"
and,
"Den they be th' law thet 'llowed da Army o' Uriel mob what lynched yo' daddy--who be my sist'rin's law-'bidin' husband--to go skat-free. Oh, I seed the papers! Oh, yeah, I readed 'em all. An' I readed 'bout you bein' at da trial--you be all growed up now, but you be a chil' then with yer rag baby ... an' I cried fo' you, Juniper."
Without Fanny there, Juni was an easy target for her crook of an uncle. How could he live with himself with Juni in prison for life?
This was the "poison worm" that hooked Juni...
"An' den I got angry, my purty li'l niece, I got blist'rin angry when I heered thet yer mama's plans got cut short by two strokes what leaves th' fire in her gut, but takes 'way th' arms an' legs she be needin' to carry out her plans. 'Don' thet make you blist'rin angry, too, Juniper? Huh, don' it?"
Uncle Peter was a villain. If it wasn't for him, the reckoning would have been cut short with Lizabeth's strokes. And Juniper would have never gone to prison. Thurston Flourney would have got his verdict from God on Judgement Day. Likewise for his hooded buddies, and for all Ku Klux Klan members who hanged innocent blacks back in the day. They will pay for their hatred.
As a poet, my favorite part of this scene was the Reporter's speech:
"Let me just get that. " ... drop that poison worm in her beak." Honestly, Miss Fanny, it must be your years of entertaining, but you could be a poet."
Looking forward to the next scene, Jay. That train will be pulling into the station shortly. I thought I could make out the whistle all the way from here.
I'm still thinking that going through this bitter story will be too much for Fanny. She will be reunited with Juni in the very near future. That's another thing I can hear... the creak of a rocking chair. What's making the rocker move? Is it Juni's ghost or a gentle breeze?
Awesome work, Jay!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Ah-ha! I think you are going to particularly like the next scene. You'll see that this ol' geezer had his antenna up every time you reviewed. The next scene will end it ... but there will be a surprise epilog-ic "scene" after the curtain drops.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
I like the "pulluva a nose-hair" nothing brings tears faster than that.
Setting, 5th sentence: Insert (of) between (kind) and (stew)
PLACE/TIME: August 12,1929 was actually a Sunday, not a Monday.
5th Fanny: What is the (Beat) word in the middle of Fanny's discussion? It occurs also just before the last paragraph of the scene/act.
10th Reporter, 1st sentence: (uncle Peter) should be (Uncle Peter)
My dear Juniper letter, 3rd sentence: (cant) should be (caint) as it has been used earlier. (At 6th Fanny, 4th sentence and other places throughout.)
My Dear Juniper letter, 4th sentence: Need comma after (So)
Whew, that was a job. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have to read every word, whether I fully "unnerstnd" it or not, I am compelled to do so.
One hell of an accomplishment, excuse my language, but somehow you have managed to maintain this dialect through the full article. It has to be a brand-new language made up by you, for you, and then for us.
The story is amazing, and Fanny is even more amazing in her blunt candor. Sometimes I feel for the reporter, but, hey, that's his job.
Another stellar achievement in the continuing saga of Fanny Barnwarmer.
I recorded several observations, that may have resulted in a slight downgrade in any other paper, but this one is so classic I offer my suggestions simply for you to review and appraise for inclusion. This is, hands down, one of my best six-star ratings I have given. You know, kinda like the AGT Golden Buzzer.
Excellent!
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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I like the "pulluva a nose-hair" nothing brings tears faster than that.
Setting, 5th sentence: Insert (of) between (kind) and (stew)
PLACE/TIME: August 12,1929 was actually a Sunday, not a Monday.
5th Fanny: What is the (Beat) word in the middle of Fanny's discussion? It occurs also just before the last paragraph of the scene/act.
10th Reporter, 1st sentence: (uncle Peter) should be (Uncle Peter)
My dear Juniper letter, 3rd sentence: (cant) should be (caint) as it has been used earlier. (At 6th Fanny, 4th sentence and other places throughout.)
My Dear Juniper letter, 4th sentence: Need comma after (So)
Whew, that was a job. I wouldn't have it any other way. I have to read every word, whether I fully "unnerstnd" it or not, I am compelled to do so.
One hell of an accomplishment, excuse my language, but somehow you have managed to maintain this dialect through the full article. It has to be a brand-new language made up by you, for you, and then for us.
The story is amazing, and Fanny is even more amazing in her blunt candor. Sometimes I feel for the reporter, but, hey, that's his job.
Another stellar achievement in the continuing saga of Fanny Barnwarmer.
I recorded several observations, that may have resulted in a slight downgrade in any other paper, but this one is so classic I offer my suggestions simply for you to review and appraise for inclusion. This is, hands down, one of my best six-star ratings I have given. You know, kinda like the AGT Golden Buzzer.
Excellent!
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Ah-ha! you gave me the golden buzzer! I relish in all those golden flakes falling, tangling in my hair. Now, the dialect is largely remembered from my grandmother who hailed from Missouri. But that was about 75 years of memory ago. Some falls into place. Some is manufactured. And yes it gave/gives me nightmares.
Your six stars humbles and moves me. Thank you.
I will take care of the cain't vs can't. Glad you caught that. I am amazed there aren't more of those types. Can't is written unconsiously; cain't takes thought.
It was my goof about August 12 being Monday. It should have been Sunday throughout, since all but about 3 scenes take place on Sunday. That will take some time, but I need to change them all. Thank you for pointing that out. You are good!
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I "cain't" imagine any change to this series being easy. Every time you need to change something I would think you have a great task on your hands.
Well, I'm having a good time with it so keep it coming.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Uncle Peter was a mean SOB. I think Fanny is right that he did it because he could, even if it meant prison or worse for his niece. The letter shows how much he wanted to turn Juniper into a killing machine, unless the death of the man who killed her father was somehow financially beneficial for him.
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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Uncle Peter was a mean SOB. I think Fanny is right that he did it because he could, even if it meant prison or worse for his niece. The letter shows how much he wanted to turn Juniper into a killing machine, unless the death of the man who killed her father was somehow financially beneficial for him.
Comment Written 15-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2022
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No, the financial angle (though a good possibility) wasn't a part of this play. But yes, Peter was mean! I needed something almost diabolical to turn Juniper around so. Hence, Uncle Peter. Thank you so much for your attendance here. I should award you hall monitor. (Just being silly.)