Reviews from

Novella - Unwanted Dog

Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Unwanted Dog - 5 "
Adopted By Unknown Stranger In Wal-Mart Parking Lo

15 total reviews 
Comment from Ricky1024
Excellent
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"Unwanted Dog-5"
Another Chapter from. Your book; lost but retrieved, was well written rich in Theme and Imagery.
...
Note:
I have an awful lot of material written on this site.
So they offered me some kind of plan where my work is protected.
But after what you posted about Tom Eniss.
I was just wondering if you have that also Brett?
Doctor Ricky1024

 Comment Written 03-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 03-Dec-2022
    I do not at the moment. Appreciate the review.
reply by Ricky1024 on 03-Dec-2022
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
Good
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An amusing, original idea to use a dog as the narrator of its own story.
The 'speaker' often seems wiser than humans involved. The language is a little inconsistent and the thoughts of the dog seem to voice the writer's own philiosophy. Very difficult here to sustain the concept of a canine speaker!

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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 01-Dec-2022


reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
    The posting has nothing to do with a dog whatsoever. It is cleary marked as a chapter of my autobiography. If you had read it at all you would have realized that. Enjoy the Funny Money. Spend it wisely.
reply by Sarah Das Gupta on 01-Dec-2022
    Apologies. I assure you I read it all and it was a genuine error.
Comment from JoannaN
Excellent
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Your descriptions are very-detailed and they enable us to have a peek in the world of your protagonist. I am sorry you lost the access to your book and I hope you have everything copied somewhere as a Word file.

 Comment Written 28-Nov-2022


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2022
    Appreciate your comments and the review.
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Excellent
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Did anyone try to help you, locate your loved ones; I can see why you were fed up with the place you resided. I am totally surprised that you remain there as long as you did. Did you sleep well at night? Afraid to sleep at night in a place where no one cared?

 Comment Written 25-Oct-2022


reply by the author on 27-Oct-2022
    Spent the first dozen years of my life in the place. Never had any blood relatives step forth to claim me. One of the reasons I considered myself to be an unwanted dog.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Excellent
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Nicely written. Good work.
Though 'going postal' has made its way into the lexicon, I still get perturbed since there are more nut cases shooting up their fellow workers in factories and other work places than in the Postal Service, from which I retired. I suppose it's because the words more easily float off the tongue, and also because people are more easily inclined to stab at anything remotely governmental.
Best wishes.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 21-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 21-Aug-2022
    My autobiography has nothing to do with politics. Going postal was a popular expression that meant for lack of a better example, wreaking havoc. At that time I most certainly could have. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Ulla
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Brett, I do remember reading some of it back, then and I'm looking forward to be re-acquainted with it. As I started my first two and half years in an orphanage I'm obviously interested. An intriguing start to your story. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 20-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
    Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate your review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
Excellent
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Since I wasn't on FanStory four years ago, I missed this the first time, Brett. You've caught my attention with this first chapter. It's hard to imagine this is how your life began. Well penned. I look forward to reading more.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
    Glad you enjoyed this posting. Appreciate the review.
reply by Judy Lawless on 23-Aug-2022
    You?re most welcome, Brett.
Comment from BethShelby
Excellent
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I'm so glad you're decided to make this available to us again. I know I'm going to enjoy this story. I like the way you are telling it. Do you know how you came to be in Hermitage Hall in the first place? Were you there from birth?

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
    Those answers will come out as my autobiography unfolds. Appreciate the review.
Comment from Sankey
Excellent
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Good on you mate. Always been interested in your life story as gruesome as I know it is in places. So sorry the SIXES ran out. Maybe next chapter. No spags.

 Comment Written 19-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 22-Aug-2022
    Appreciate it very much. Eleven tumors now and pneumonia. Hopefully, all is well in your world.
Comment from Gloria ....
Excellent
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Hi Brett, I enjoyed the introductory chapter of your autobiography. The first person narrator is a strong choice to express the loneliness and disconnected turmoil of an angst-filled teenager preoccupied with his own issues in a life that so far has not been easy. The plot is moved forward at an unhurried pace which is suitable for a deep dive into self-discovery. This promises to be a good story about overcoming adversity while growing up.

couple of typos:

Rapscallion would picque (pique) your interest

Getting caught breaking such insidous (insidious) rules

This recalcitrant vagabond would ramble the forbiddened (forbidden) journey,

devour Hermitage Hall with vengence (vengeance)

The soles of those boots had also begun the seperation (separation)

Thank you for sharing. I look forward to reading all about Hermitage Hall.

Gloria

 Comment Written 18-Aug-2022


reply by the author on 19-Aug-2022
    You would not know I proofread this posting at least a gazillion times. Appreciate all the catches!